Follow
Share

Mom's AL memory care talked me into signing a DNR saying if they did CPR it would ido more harm than good. Broken ribs, punctured lungs, etc.
Shrill soonbe94 and is going downhill fast.
In and out of hospital, ER
They just brought her back from hospital after 3 days and now theywantmeto sign another one. I
I'm uncomfortable with this. I don't wantall these DRN flying around making me look like I want her to die. It took everything I had to sign the first one.

I don't even know if I had the right to do that. I do know she would never want to be on machines. She is ready to go but I'll never be resets let ergo.
Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. I don't know why they want me to sign another. They said readmission, but that doesnt sound right to me.
Ill never do this to my loved ones. It is an awful place to be. Heart wrenching.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I'm sorry that you have to go through this again. However, you write: "I do know she would never want to be on machines." I believe that is your answer. You are not signing these DNRs because you want her to die, you are following her wishes not to live artificially.
If you have POA for health care, then I believe that should certainly cover the legal part. As to why you have to sign again, likely readmission is the reason. They have a lot of rules they must follow and some seem nonsensical to us but there are reasons behind them (at least there are supposed to be). I think you can sign this DNR with no guilt knowing that you are doing what your mother wants.
Take care,
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Here4her listen to Carol and I agree with everything she said having been a nurse, worked in risk mgmt. for a hospital (the legal dept. when things go wrong), and have already asked my husband what he prefers so if the time comes and he is unable to speak for himself, then I will know what he wanted. Do not think of a DNR like you are killing your mom or want her to die. Rather, when circumstances present themselves in a medical setting, this is the more humane way to go if no other methods can be used to save her. She has already expressed her wishes to you, and you would be carrying them out just as you would want your wishes honored. Let her go as she would want. My prayers are with you and your family.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I think that performing CPR on an already dying senior would be cruel - it does hurt the person! If they don't want to be artificially kept alive, CPR is certainly the opposite of their wishes, forcing their lungs to take new air and forcing their heart to pump. A DNR is merciful and you will be following your loved one's wishes.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I signed it after they explained it was state law. They askedmeif I wanted them to beat on moms chest. I forgot to write what Carol said. Maybe I can ad it. It was so hurtful. I told them I felt like I was signing her death warrant.

She is in A Fib - I'm going to google that now.
Her nurse is fabulous, Henrietta. I'm glad she is there for her.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Here4her - you did the right thing by signing the DNR. She wanted it, and you are just carrying out HER wishes. Things are starting to break down now, so be there for her at the end, and that is all you can do. My prayers are with you at this time.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am dpoa and signed one for my mother and keep on the inside of my cabinet at all times, and the bottom portion is portable and in my pocketbook. You are not killing your Mom, you are making an decision which is actually better for her, not worse. I wouldnt worry about someong thinking you want her to die but I would worry about someone thinking that you are being selfish by wanting her to live in her state of health. (I dont mean that in a bad way). Turn it around and know you are doing the right thing, not the wrong thing! It killed me to sign my Moms also but I know thats what she wanted because she told me if she cant live indepentently, please let me go. When you think about it, who would want to live like that or be pounced on for your last 10 minutes of life? Blessings to you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Something to remember. A Do Not Resuscitate order means that medical staff are not going to attempt to bring your mom back from the dead. You are not killing her, because she would already be gone. If her heart stopped beating, meaning she has for all intents and purposes died, then medical staff will not break ribs, etc., attempting to get her heart going again.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter