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I am going to do a Durable Power of Attorney with my mom so that I can work with her creditors.

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Yes, I agree! The only reason I spelled it out like that is that I noticed on the news feed that it *looked* as if I was answering the headline question "yes", when I hadn't.
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While that is right Church you are responsible while POA for ensuring any money spent is in HER best interests which is why today after lots of arguing I am going to get HER new car for ME to drive HER everywhere SHE NEEDS to go
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Yikes. I've just seen how this comes up on the News Feed. So for the avoidance of doubt...

Would becoming my mother's DPOA make me financially responsible for her debts? - No.

Can someone with POA also be a beneficiary in a will? (i.e. inherit from the person for whom they hold POA) - Yes.
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Yes.
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Can the Power of Attorney person also be the beneficiary?
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does having poa make me responsible for the actual physical care of the person, I have an elderly mother who I can not take care of at all. I travel for my job and she has little financial means. I found what I thought was a very nice nursing home, however, it was really a cash cow for the man who owned it with his wife and they had little if any experience with dementia patients or patients at all. He called 911 had my mother brought to the er saying he could no longer take care of her and I was actually over seas when this happened. Now the hospital is trying to force better wording Bullying and threaten me to pick my mother up. I just arrived back into the states and she has declined since she has been at the hospital, went in walking and was not incontinent. She now can
not walk and they have been putting diapers on her. How can I handle this, I am her poa but I can not care for her and they have done little to help but decline her.
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My mother own a car, she has made me the POA and my brother has her car at his' place and the key... mother want me to go get the car which I can't b/c I don't have the keys, what can I do to make him give me the keys? I'm afraid he will do something to mom's car if he know she want me to go get it. What can I do?
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You can:

1. resign your POA and leave your argumentative siblings to deal with your mother.
2. use your POA as the basis of your authority to make decisions on your mother's behalf where increasingly she is not able to do so herself, sending each of your siblings a copy to make them aware of your legal authority - given to you by your mother - to do this.
3. meanwhile, address their concerns, distinguishing between those which are legitimate and those which are vexatious, mischievous or self-serving. What are their various problems?
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I have been my mom POA since 2009 she has advancing Alzheimer disease I am the youngest of 7 children, my siblings do not contribute to any of her care or living they don't visit they don't call, but they keep up so much confusion when I make decisions, I've recently gotten married and my husband helps me with my mom and because they don't like my husband they keep confusion going, I have been physically threatened by one of my brothers and my husband and I have been verbally abused by all of my siblings except one. I want to get legal guardianship but my mom is not totally incompetent what can I do
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LRC, I don't want to sound harsh but you need to sort this out in your head once and for all. It is SO important.

Power of attorney is given by one person to another. It ceases on that person's death and has no further bearing on anything.

An executor is a person named in a will to ensure that the will is enacted. This becomes relevant only on the death of the person who has made the will.

The person with POA and the person named as executor may be the same; and in practice they often are. But they don't have to be, and the roles are entirely separate from one another.

|When your mother gave you power of attorney she entrusted you with the responsibility to carry on her affairs in her best interests and according to her known wishes. That's point one.

In making her will, she laid down in black and white what her wishes were: that on her death her estate is to be shared between her two daughters, and as her executor you will be responsible for making sure it is. That's point two. As an aside, maybe it would help if you were to think of your sister as your mother's daughter, just the same as you are. Think how your mother feels about her, rather than about your relative merits as caregivers. The terms of her will are not conditional on the behaviour of either of you for the remainder of your mother's life. POA gives you no right at all to attempt to change your mother's will, and to attempt to override her wishes would be an abuse of POA now or your executorship in the future.

Your friend's mother died intestate and therefore will have had no executor. Your friend's situation has no relevance to yours.

I hesitate to mention this because I don't want to encourage you to go astray; but depending on how impaired your mother is by her dementia it MAY still be possible for YOUR MOTHER to change HER will. You would need to be extremely careful about this, and I would suggest that before you stir a step you get her cognitive function formally assessed by an appropriate person such as a specialist older age psychiatrist. If your mother's dementia is not too far advanced and your mother is demonstrably capable of understanding what she is doing, it MAY be possible for her to make a new will. It would be massively unethical for you to be involved in any way in drafting that will; all you could do is make arrangements for your mother to be assisted by an elder care specialist attorney. Be aware that if there is any question of your mother's capacity being insufficient, or of your exerting undue influence, then your sister would have clear grounds for challenging the validity of the will and she'd see you in court so fast it'd make your head swim. That way all of your mother's estate would probably vanish in costs and serve you both right.

However. Suppose you have your mother's cognitive state properly assessed; suppose she does have sufficient capacity to understand the implications of making a new will; and suppose she is open to the idea of making some provision for her grandchildren. That's an awful lot of supposes, but still. There might be nothing wrong with her doing that; but if your sister is entirely disinherited there will be trouble ahead, you can be sure of it, and everybody will lose.

Aside from the legalities, on the ethical point you really must disentangle your own feelings towards your sister from your responsibility to manage your mother's affairs, and look at the situation strictly through your mother's eyes. Your sister's deserts have nothing to do with it; what you would like has nothing to do with it. This is all about doing what your mother wants, and that is the commitment you gave her when you accepted POA and agreed to act as her executor. Do not abuse her trust.
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**countrymouse***Sorry ,the friend wasNOT the POA - just the caregiver for her moms remaining years.
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Countrymouse- a friend had told me this..,but her mother did not have a Will.Her lawyer had told her all her mothers assets were hers since she was the poa/executor and her caregiver. She did give some money out to each of her siblings.
I would like to have my sisters portion go to the grandkids instead of my sister because she removed herself from moms life. Can I do any type of changing since I'm the POA? Would I have to talk to an eldercare lawyer?
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LRC, NO NO NO it is NOT true. If your mother has left your sister a legacy in her last, valid will, your sister gets that legacy and whoever is your mother's executor is legally responsible for ensuring that it happens. So if you are also your mother's executor under the conditions of her will, make sure of it - even if you don't see hide nor hair of your sister for the remainder of your life.

What "people" are saying this, if you don't mind my asking?
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Backgound: My mother made me the DPOA 8 yrs ago.I have a sister who has not been involved with mom and I since dad passed(13yrs) She has my sister getting a partial of her belongings/money when she passes in her Will. I have been her only caretaker, sold her house to move in with us because it was wearing me down, I recently had to quit my full time job to be home with her.
Approx.5 yrs ago mom has gotten alzheimers. my sister still hasn't been involved in her life . People have been saying that all of her assets will be mine. Is that true even though my sister is in her Will?
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To answer your question, no - once they pass your "duty" ends.
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Mother has a Durable General Power Of Attorney with myself and my 3 siblings listed as "attorneys-in-fact, for me and in my name, place and stead". She is currently in an assisted living facility and is unable to take care of her own affairs, financial or other wise. Myself and one of my sisters are listed as signers on her checking account so we have been writing the checks for the past 3 years to pay her bills which are mostly medical bills. My question is should this checking account be renamed to show us a POA's and since my sister signed the paper work upon my mothers admittance to the assisted living facility is she responsible for the monthly expense should my mother not have enough money to pay the monthly bill?
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You will need POA if mom goes into a nursing home and you have to write checks for her care.
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CM, Having POA's for our parents or elders is very important. You can't even talk to Medicare unless you have had her sign you up as the 'Authorized Representiative'. Att some point there will be legal issues requiring your representation on her behalf, and no one will give the time of day with out the POA's, both financial and medical. The medical POA was a real eye opener for me. The questionnaire delved into very critical scenarios for which a parent/elder needs to make decisons while still having the mental capacity to do so. Without it, you would not have the right to make health decisions (such as life prolonging measures or a DNR order) and the elder could be hooked up to life support for years. These are just some of the things I recently learned while setting up these documents for my Uncle. The medical POA in particular has given me great peace of mind and relieves me of the really difficult decisions.
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In the age of online banking, do we need POA? Mom lives with me, has her own account. Since I can pay things online as her, I don't need any special documentation to do so. Maybe it is different for those who have no "estate" or wealth, which is out situation.
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Tatiana, If your Mom already has a bank acount, you just take the POA document to the bank, and they re-register the account to show HER NAME, YOUR NAME AS 'POA'. Then you can sign checks on her behalf or set up automatic bill paying if you wish. It is always her money, not yours, so you cannot set up anything in your name alone. If she does NOT have a checking account, then you do the same thing. Go to the bank and set up an account in HER NAME, YOUR NAME AS 'POA'.
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One son is named Durable Power of Attorney (not just health) and One daughter is named Trustee of the Trust? How are these different? Who has control?
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I want to set up an account in my name and have her ssi checks and pension checks deposited into that account to pay her bills on her behalf. If I do this do I become liable for her debt? I do have power of attorney to pay her bills.
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How does this impact my mother's credit cards where she has my name attached as an 'authorized' user? The bills go to her...she is the name on the account, but has given me a card with my name in order to obtain items of her choosing. Will her estate be responsible(which is only her home), will I be responsible...? I've been afraid to even address this as I've been busy caregiving.
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babycakes - 93 yr old DPOA for your dad? well that is different. I'd suggest that perhaps you or if your dad has a sibling that they take over as DPOA. I'm sure there are many capable folks out there in their 90's but reality is the 93 yr old will need their own DPOA, MPOA soon. But back to your ?, the POA is responsible for managing their finances in an appropriate manner, paying bills as their finances allows and also challenging bills if need be but not personally responsible for their debts. The problem often comes up in that the POA will do the paperwork for somebody - like sign them into the hospital or rehab facility,etc and the DPOA will sign their own name on the paperwork - and by doing that signs off that they are fiancially responsible for any and all charges incurred at the facility.

When you die, your debts die with you. Now in some states when you go through probate, the end of life health care debts can be debts against the estate. Some states have limits on this, like the last year or last 6 months, while other states have the amount capped at a set $$ figure. The executor has to sign off that they do or don't know of any debts against the estate. Probate is usually pretty routine and if there isn't any real assets, the debts have no standing and are discharged.
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My 93 year old grandmother has durable power of attorney of my father's finances. She does not have healthcare poa. Is she responsible for ensuring his medical bills are paid and is she liable for any unpaid bills in case of his demise?
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mrjess5of RI, I'm the middle child of my mom and she has Alzhimers and Dementure neither my brother or sister come to visit our mom and when we had our wills written up in 2005 my mom appointed me as her POA because we live together and I have taken care of her since she was diagnoised to have this dreadful desase 3 years ago and I try my best to meet all of her needs finacaly and medicaly. And I would do it again in a HEART BEAT.
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Durable POA ONLY means that you may act on her behalf. You are in no way liable. When signing anything sign your name For her name.
Example: Linda Gray For Margaret Gray
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No, you are never responsible for your parents debts as long as the debt is completely their own.

I will suggest that if you need to sign any kind of papers, like for selling their real estate, investments, hospital or nursing home admissions, etc. that you sign it: "XXX as DPOA for YYY".
That way there is no way the debt can be assigned to you. Also if you're selling property and have to do the "condition of property" form, if you do it that way and there is an issue later with the condition of the house and the buyer claims you or your mom knew and hid it, it keeps it from being a problem.

You might also want to get a separate MPOA medical power of attorney and incapacity statement done (that she wants you to assume guardianship/convervatorship for her if she becomes incapacitated). The elder care attorney will have these done easily for you. If mom has any assets in more than 1 state, let the attorney know as there may be a separate form that is slightly different for the other state for the DPOA and others.
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