My mom is visually impaired, with a bunch of other health conditions.
I can't work a fulltime/day job bc she has drs appointments every week. Sometimes upward of 8 apps and some 1hr drive one way.
I'm not sure what to do, she refuses to have anyone but me as her caregiver.
I have been taking care of her from 17 to now 37 (20 years).
I mainly drive her to drs appointments, grocery, bank, deal with all finances. I have no life and she thinks I "get paid to do nothing" but won't get another caregiver to help.
You also need to take control of the situation and establish guidelines and get out of the Cinderella mode.
Even if it's difficult b/c she's your mother, you're going to have to stand up for yourself, establish guidelines, and stand firm. Otherwise, you'll continue to be exploited.
Don't think in terms of "I can't", but "how can I", and in terms of changing the situation.
Sorry to be so blunt, and it's not done intentionally to hurt or shame you, but perhaps it can act as a wake-up call and call for action, which only you can initiate. You'll feel better when you do so, and it's clear that your "no life" now feeling isn't a positive one. Think of yourself and what you want and need, and how compromise can be implemented so the IMPORTANT and NECESSARY trips can be made, but with outside assistance.
Contact the local Area Agency on Aging to see help they can provide; contact the County Senior services as well. The community Senior Center can also be of help.
She is vidually impaired and nothing can be done at this point.
She's deaf in 1 ear.
She is diabetic, high BP, cholesterol, arthritis, back issues, shoulder, knee pain. Stomach issues, kidney, Can't drive. Ive been driving her around since I was 17.