Mother-in-law is drinking almost no fluid. How long will it be?

My father lasted about 10 days taking a few sips of a drink a day. He stopped eating about 5 days before that. I would take droppers and drop a few drops into his mouth and a wet washcloth or sponge to his lips. His urine tapered off --he had catheter and his urine turned dark and viscuous.

So sorry for you. Offer her Popsicles or those frozen pedialyte sticks. Let her eat whatever she feels like, nutrition doesn't matter at his point. Enjoy time together.

We took my father out of the hospital and put on hospice because that was his wish and we did not want to use artificial means of support. We choose not to do IV hydration and offered him sips of fluids every hour. It was about 3 weeks until he passed and I know what you mean about becoming more lucid. The body and brain do strange things towards the end. From my experience once my father was no longer taking fluids it was about 72 hours. He had stopped eating about 2 weeks before he stopped taking fluids. I know how difficult end of life stuff gets and there seems to be no way thru it except one day at a time. The last 2 days of my Fathers life he just slept, then he stopped breathing. It was challenging especially for my Mother but he died peacefully with no one beating on his chest to bring him back for more agony. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. To me it was like time just was standing still for those weeks and I felt like I was walking around in a fog. That was grief and it did lift after a while and I was just glad we were able to bring him home where he wanted to die.

Cloudy you are close, very close. Watch for raspy breathing, it sounds like snoring but it is in the throat, like a wet snore. Urine gets dark like coffee. Call in your angels to guide you. Use the meds, they are her best comfort right now. Go outside and cry. I did.

Once she stops eating and drinking, about a week. Then she will sleep most of the time. Thank you for caring about her.

Cloudy, you need to talk to the Hospice nurses about ALL of this. And the Hospice SW about the best way to talk to your husband.

Thank you for responding, everyone. Yes, we are beyond exhausted and emotionally drained from this whole process.

She was on death's doorstep when she got out of skilled nursing/rehab following the hip break --- very dehydrated,extremely weak. Couldn't even hold her head up. This summer we pampered her and gave her lots of TLC and she seemed to be doing better. She was eating quite well just a month or so ago.

I have been growing more alarmed over the past week, because about a week ago she just started to shut down and all of a sudden I'm not seeing anything in the diaper.

I have a feeling this is "it," but I'm confused as to how long she could continue to survive like this with only about a half cup of fluids every other day or so.

The odd thing is that she seems more lucid these past several days. Again, this confuses me. I would think that lack of food and water would cause her to sleep. Instead she appears wide awake and almost alert. She looks around the room with her eyes open.

If anyone has any insight or experience with this (elderly dehydration and its effects as the patient approaches death), I would love to hear. Thank you.

I hope and pray it is not too long.
My experiences with friend's parent this year was about 5 days, they only gave him gelled water (he would choke on any amount of liquid water). Maybe they called it thickened water. Whatever, was all he tolerated.

I was glad to see your update Cloudyskies, but sorry that you are going through this. You did say your mom is on pain meds, so she must be comfortable.

What do the Hospice workers say? They have so much experience with these situations. Can they offer you any estimate of time?

Prayers for you and your family. I'll be thinking of you.

Where was your mom staying before Hospice was called? Was she in a NH or ALF?

Just hugs to you as you go through this painful process. Someone from hospice needs to clue your husband in that the end is very near..he needs to start processing it, so if he has anything to say to his mom, he gets it said while she's still here. Hugs...

My husband , toward the end with lung cancer on top of recurrent lymphoma, got to where he would spit back everything he tried to eat or drink. He was in the hospital; they tried a feeding tube and he pulled it right out. After a week, I came in early in the morning and found them moving him to an observation unit next to ICU because he had become unresponsive; he faded away that evening. We were able to notify family; his siblings came and couldn't take it; we had the room full of our kids and grandkids and a lot of nieces and nephews.