I occasionally visit a parent in a memory care facility who has alzheimers. I dont like visiting. Mainly it is to check out that they are being looked after and to be seen as another pair of eyes watching the caregivers. It is very difficult to communicate with the parent. They also have toileting issues as well which I find uncomfortable. The alzheimers is at the severe stage.
I also never had a good relationship with the parent prior to them having Alzheimer's and they have never helped me out much in my life. I have pretty much been or felt on my own since about 12 years of age and built serious independence in my life. So, I don't feel much motivation to visit. I am also very busy and do not have a lot of spare time.
So I tend to visit about once a month just to check in for half an hour or so, check that they are being looked after, look in their room etc. It's not quality time. It's just me checking things out.
How do other children of Alzheimer's parents deal with parents with serious Alzheimer's? Are there other people who grapple with similar sentiment? People who have not had a good childhood/abusive childhood and have never had a good relationship with the parent?