When everything you have done to help your loved one (my husband) have been done and you are not seeing much physical progress and the medical people that you put trust in are saying it's time to move on to end of life decisions, how do you know who is right? I want to believe that my loving husband will get stronger and remain with me for more years to come. I see him struggling to get there but I wonder if he is trying so hard for me and not for him.
I am 10 years younger than my husband and I wonder sometimes if that makes people think I have unlimited energy. I did trust the MDs when we were in acute care but now that my husband is in a care center, our doctor is no longer the doctor of record, so I am not so trusting. When you have been put in a med care center 30 miles from home, the manner of care and the people in charge change. With my husband as weak as he is, I have to rebuild the bridges of trust that we had with the previous medical team. I would be thrilled if I had just one extra pair of hands to help me with things that keep me from my husbands side.
We don't know when our loved one will leave us. When it gets to the point where we feel that there is little chance of improvement, we have to turn it over and just provide the best palliative care we can. Some people call in hospice so their loved one can stay at home with family. If you opt for palliative care for your husband, it may be something you want to consider. It will give you more time together doing simple things like having meals and watching TV. Big hugs to you at this hard time, JMiller.