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I've been on here many times for advice, and greatly appreciate everyone's insights. My 92 year old mother, who chooses to live in her apartment, expects me to be at her beck and call. I keep firm boundaries of taking her out twice a week and to doctor appointments, but she comes up with medical issues where she wants to see a doctor the very week I tell her that I have something important going on or when we have company. I am at my wits end, just having been there this morning to take her food shopping, and now called back to take her to the doctor for an "emergency" appointment SHE made for another issue. I have asked her repeatedly to call me first, then I will make the appointment. I am taking her, but afterwards telling her that unless she call me first, I will not be taking her to the doctor or other appointments. So many times these are nothing other than her wanting sympathy and attention. I waiver between worrying it actually being something and saying enough is enough. Any suggestions?

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Yes, I get it. My parents aren't that old, but, they don't seem to utilize a lot of the planning and executive function that they used to. I would question if she just isn't able to do things the way you want. As seniors age, even if they don't have dementia, they seem to lose their ability to empathize and recognize that others can't be at their beck and call.

It seems to be wildly popular though. I see it with my parents, their friends and my friends' parents. The only thing thing that I know is have her reschedule or just leave all the scheduling up to you. Yes, that's more work, but, what's the alternative? There are some senior transport options in my community that operates for very modest fees. The problem is how long the rider may have to stay out for the day, due to the number places the mini bus takes people. You have to take your lunch, since you could have to wait most of the day to get back home. Of course, some seniors might like that, because there are lots of people to chat with. Or, you could hire private drivers.

I'd consider that she may be forgetting what you tell her. Of course, she wouldn't admit that.
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paulfoel123 Apr 3, 2019
Ah yes patient transport. Dads options were:-

1. Patient transport for free which takes a bit longer.
2. Taxi £20 return which he can EASILY afford.
3. Me taking day off and losing £100s (Im self employed consultant).

Guess what Dad thought was the option he should have?
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My mom is 93, lives with me. It’s like their only socialization is at the doctor’s office. I absolutely hate it. She loves it and wants me to be all chipper about it, like, whoopie, I get to go on my social outing to the doctor and my mom is the center of attention on stage, embellishing facts that I have to correct. Just gets crazy!

I feel your pain!
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pattiac Apr 2, 2019
NeedHelpWithMom, I have to correct my mother as well, and she gets furious, but I'm not going to waste the doctor's time on phantom imaginings. It is crazy and whenever I try to put her in her place, she turns it around on me!
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Keep your boundaries. She is taking advantage of you. If it is that serious tell her to call 911 or get a taxi. Stick with your schedule -you need your own life too.

It may not be wise to tell her much about what you have going on. Mother, who was narcissistic, would pull an emergency when I went on holiday or had a special event. She had to be the center of attention and come first all the time. So I didn't tell her.
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pattiac Apr 2, 2019
I agree, Golden 23. I tell her the least amount possible. Unfortunately, she knew about this one because she's aware that our grandson is due and it affected her outing. Other than when I have to, I try not to tell her anything. I believe my mother is narcissistic, too.
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Sunnygirl1, I do try to stay flexible to her needs and agreeable to her aging process by adjusting each week as needed, but for her it's never been enough. I asked her to let me know whenever she needs an appointment, so I could make the appointment and then let her know. Partly for my convenience but also because she seems to have difficulty following conversations on the phone. This came out of the blue, and now that I took her to the doctor, it's clear that when she talked to my neighbor earlier in the week, she was annoyed that my neighbor mentioned how busy I'd be with our new grandson. That rubbed her the wrong way and triggered her need for immediate attention. I wish I could blame her lack of empathy and selfishness on her age. She has been this way all my life. It's just magnified with age. I don't mind helping her, it's just frustrating that instead of appreciating it, she just wants to pile more on when she feels threatened, ironically by her own family.
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My mom does this "OH, I am so glad to see you! I have been praying and praying for you to come" line on me when I go see her. (Very rarely these days.) I call her on it. "No, mom, you were NOT praying for me to come. Love of heaven. If you need ME, call me". She won't. It's far more dramatic to have her pining away in her apartment praying for me to show up to do A, B or C. Trust me, it's NEVER anything important.

She sets up for me to take her places and then gets my YB with whom she lives to take her, so I show up, she's not home, doesn't know how to answer her phone and I trot home wondering what happened. If I confront her with this, she acts coy and small--" oh, you're just so busy all the time"--I decided to ask R.

MOTHER. I PLANNED to take you. I planned my whole stupid DAY around this. I think she just enjoys looking "popular" if that makes sense.

We had a family event on Sunday. The entire family was there--and she wanted me or DH to run get her, run her to the event (45 minutes away) and then bring her right home b/c she doesn't like sitting on hard chairs. So, DH or I would have spent literally NO TIME with our kids and g-kids. She saw no problem with that.

Mostly I have found that I just don't tell her anything. She only cares about what came in the mail, what somebody said about her cute shirt at Bingo and how much everyone adores her. It gets old.

She'll do this to YB too. She needs him, he is in the garage or up in his office and she will simply sit in her apartment 100 feet away and wishes he'd come down. I asked her why she didn't CALL him. (The one number she can remember)...hemming and hawing,,,no answer, just wants to be his first priority or something, I do not know.

We have to set the boundaries. If I let her, she'd eat me alive.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2, 2019
MidKid,

Don’t think there is a comfy chair for them, do you? My mom is never completely comfortable. I get it. She’s 93. I really don’t want to get like that. You know, voice so many complaints to my kids.

I have started practicing now. I hardly ever complain to my kids. I do not want to make them miserable over petty BS or something they have no control over. I can’t change the chairs in waiting rooms!
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The solution lies within you, pattiac. As long as you allow yourself to be ordered around and at her beck and call, Mom will be more than happy to do so. My mom was the opposite. She was content with one visit a week, but then went around telling everyone I didn’t have time for her.

You are a grown woman, blessed with grandchildren. You have a life. Take Mom’s demands to the extreme and offer to call transport for her, be it Uber, Lyft, community transport, or, like in our town, we have a gentleman who will take people to medical appointments. Found him on Facebook. If she says it’s an emergency, offer to call 911. At my mom’s senior apartment, the community transport stopped right at the door. When I was very busy with my own grandsons or hubby, she either took that transport or went without. If you have something going on, four words, “Sorry, Mom, I cant.” Do not say “I’ll be right there.” If she persists, kindly suggest moving to Assisted Living where she will have constant attention. Like my mom was, your mom may be jealous of you and your life. This is not a curable condition, just one to be dealt with.
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pattiac Apr 4, 2019
So true - I have to be part of the solution for my own sake. I did tell her after her appointment that if she needs more than the two days I can give her, she should certainly call on our neighbor, who she pays, or consider other options like in home care, a cleaning lady, etc. She will never change, so I have to in order to maintain my life.
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OP - I could tell you some stories about "faking it". I've had it all.

Calls from hospital where Dad had been admitted (made up chest pains) and they wanted me to come and pick him up (because there was nothing wrong). I was 2.5 hours away by train - not practical. He refused to take taxi I was going to pay for and sat and waited for patient transport for 5 hours !!!!

Fake head wounds. Holiday weekend. He'd had argument with GP the friday before because he though his chest infection (slight sniffle) meant he should be in hospital - GP disagreed. So bang head on cupboard - sorted.

GP now refuses to visit him at home (he called them out so often). And ambulance wont turn up now.
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Countrymouse Apr 3, 2019
It is not true that the ambulance won't turn up. The ambulance will turn up unless your father agrees that he doesn't need one. If the Welsh Ambulance Service comes to believe that he is an incorrigible abuser of the service, they can and will prosecute him. But they won't not send an ambulance.
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Thank you all for your input. It gives me strength to hear what you all suggest. I come here often to get and give advice. Sometimes things will be peaceful for a while, then the proverbial s#@t hits the fan. It's tiresome since this is who she was since I was a child and it was like parenting them with all of their issues (alcoholism, co-dependence, and narcissism). The last year I've pushed back a great deal to maintain my life and force my mother to see she either needs more in home help or to go to assisted living nearby. We have several nice places nearby to consider. If there is one thing this has taught me, it is NEVER to be this way with my children. They deserve their lives and it brings me and my husband much joy to be with them! Thank you all for your time and support!
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disgustedtoo Apr 5, 2019
Those of us who deal with this vow to not be like that with our children, and that will likely work so long as we have our mental faculties relatively in place. If some kind of dementia kicks in, all bets are off!!! Just be sure to provide them with the warning signs and how to deal with it!!
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Three words: adult day care. Find one, and use it. She'll get to socialize with others her own age and you'll keep your sanity.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 6, 2019
I wish! Mom won’t go. I’ve tried 😩
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You are trying to maintain your boundaries and she doesn’t have any. So you are right that these are imaginary emergencies. As my sister would ask me "is he bleeding from an orifrice or on the verge of death, if not then it’s not an emergency ". Laughable but she was trying to help me put things in perspective of when I should be worried. So if she pulls this again and you are not available, (and I wouldn’t be), either call for transport if she’s unable, or call the doctor's office and reschedule the appointment to your convenience. So exasperating.
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disgustedtoo Apr 5, 2019
Have the doctor's office call her and say they had a scheduling problem and her appointment has been changed to X day and time! Let her think THEY did this!!!
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pattiac, your boundaries with your mother are similar to the ones I used to have with my mother. She wouldn't make appointments without making sure they would work for me, though. Big difference.

Now she's in a NH, so of course it's no longer an issue. My goal is to visit once a week. I do have to accompany her on outside medical appointments, though. The facility transport van is used ($65/RT; she pays), and I ride along for free. I'm also now getting paid for my time by the brother who is in charge of her finances.

I resented what I had to do for a long time, and now I mostly pity her.
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Ask her if it's serious enough for you to call her a taxi? Let her decide.
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I was just reading the persons remarks about why her mom will pray for her to come and doesn’t call , just wondering if she is embarrassed to say she doesn’t know how to use the phone anymore, my also very needle mom has dementia , if I say I’m arriving at a time she will forget that I said to stay in her room etc . She just forgets everything so it’s always hard for me to figure out when she is manipulating me or just the brain not working . See if your mom can even make a phone call anymore , just a thought !
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I have the same thing with my mother. I talked to a neuropsychologist who emphasized I need to take care of myself first. If I start falling apart / getting ill then I cannot be here for my 5 year old, my wife, my 98 year old grandmother, and certainly not for my mother. He said I have to be ok with the boundaries I set in place and stick to them. There are many things in life that cannot be controlled and we certainly cannot control others. Once I stuck to the boundaries my mother got the point. She now has a care giver come in once a day for 3 hours so I know if anything happened she will be ok. If she gets to the point where she cannot afford I will ask one of her neighbors to check on her or call her once a day with a time limit on that call. Believe me I know the manipulation that they can place on a person but you have to take care of you first. Hope that makes sense. It took me a long time to come to terms with my situation but after I fell ill twice from stress I said no more guilt / manipulation. I hope that helps. You are not alone.

Chris
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My Middle Sibling who Lives the Closest...Yes, She is now a Caregiver and Dad's Enabler...
Don't be Her POAS or any other Executive if you cannot Handle not only the Title but the responsibilities that Go with it.
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Isthisrealyreal Apr 5, 2019
POA doesn't mean you are at their beck and call or need to do everything they ask. Perhaps that is the misconception that causes people to think that appointing a POA they now have a free servant.
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My MiL is narcissitic and does not think we have a life except serving her. We have started cleaning her apartment once a week and doing her laundry. She is in independent living and so getting somebody to do these things is expensive. She will not do them and will wear the same dirty clothes for weeks. She has somebody come in 3x a day for meds and once a week for a shower. she will not shower on her own even though she says she does. She still says she walks everyday and could go golfing (has not been in 2 years) even though we did try to take her and she says she is too sick. She wants to travel but can't and gets mad at us if we do. We just came back and she did not even remember we were gone.
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JoAnn29 Apr 5, 2019
Think ur MIL is ready for an AL.
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My mom's dementia is accelerating and this has been the endless issue. "If you don't come to [her city] and help I'll be dead." She keeps going to the ER because she is sure she is "dying," and they find nothing wrong. Two of us siblings live plane rides away. The other lives not too far away but works long hours and travels a lot. Now she is calling us in the middle of the night to say she "doesn't feel well" and needs to see a doctor. She is in a very nice Assisted Living where she has access to round-the-clock care.

I'm trying to create boundaries, too, but it is difficult because she doesn't remember what we've said or done, and instead criticizes and guilts us.

Sorry, other than sticking to boundaries, I do not have any good solutions, but feel your pain.
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You will only have your mother once & she's reaching out for attention. Sounds like she wants you around more often. Mine was put in an 'assisted living center' by my brother & sister. She can't do anything for herself & is almost 92 years old. Wish she was still at her home & I could go & take her to appointments & grocery store. She's very unhappy & wants to go home but my brother, who has Power Of Attorney won't let her. My sister has decided she will live in her house. Good luck with your mother.
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Oskigirl Apr 5, 2019
What you say is true, but my mom, who never attended any sporting event or anything else while I was growing up, now thinks that we should all essentially quit our jobs and take care of her 24/7. Yes, she is reaching out for attention, none of which she ever gave us. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I don't have the financial wherewithal to drop everything for her.
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if it’s a real emergency, you will know. I go through something similar with my Dad. It stopped as soon as I said I couldn’t take him because I was out of town. This could also be a work conflict or a prior personal commitment. After that, he agreed to let me make his appointments for him. Those are the only ones I take him to, unless it is a real emergency. A real emergency is life-and-death that requires a trip to the ER, not some new problem that needs a scheduled appointment with one of his doctors. You have to make your line clear, and stand by it. Every time you take her in (and then “slap the back of her hand” after) it reenforces that it is not a real line and she gets her way every time.
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Oskigirl Apr 5, 2019
My mom is in AL and they have told her (usually in the middle of the night) that she does not need to go to ER (all vitals OK, and the docs find nothing wrong...). So, since she still has her phone, she is now simply calling 911 in the middle of the night and taken to the ER where they find nothing wrong... *eye roll*... The last time, because she was in the ER, she missed her scheduled doctor's appointment, in fact.
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Let me give you an example - my late mother loved to go to the doctor - NOT for her health, but to SOCIALIZE. It became ridiculous when I asked what the resolution was to her health crisis when she went to the doctor via her town's van. I would ask - "So mom, what did the doctor do for you? You told her what was wrong, right?" Her response - "No, I didn't tell her. We just socialized." UGH! So your mother may be looking for socialization because she is lonely.
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lkdrymom Apr 8, 2019
This was my father. He goes to the ER for socialization
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You say you keep firm boundaries, but then when she made the appointment you gave in (this time?) and are taking her. I know so well how hard this boundary thing is. Do you know the saying "you give them an inch and tney take a mile"? Stay strong! I mentioned before that I had a few sessions with a psychologist to help me with the boundary situation. Very helpful. Just tell the psychologist you want practical training for that, othwise they want to explore and fix everything in your life. You say she wants attention. Can you supply that with adult day care or the senior center?
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Thank you for the helpful ideas and understanding. This has been the "soft place" for me to fall throughout my many years of caregiving. If not for the support here and from my family and friends, I wouldn't make it through. Best wishes to everyone!
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Although not part of your original post, you did say to NeedHelpWithMom:

"I have to correct my mother as well, and she gets furious, but I'm not going to waste the doctor's time on phantom imaginings. It is crazy and whenever I try to put her in her place, she turns it around on me!"

Suggestion is not to do the "correcting" in front of her. You can inform the doctor or nurse and avoid both wasting time AND arguments with mom... If you like her treating you badly, continue as you were....
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 6, 2019
No one likes mom treating them badly and sometimes during the frustration it takes awhile for us to sort things out unless we hear a great suggestion like yours. Thanks a bunch!
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Maybe this will help: http://seniorsmatter.com/setting-limits-caregiver-caregiver-burnout/
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OP - I've tried with Dad to no avail.

"Dad you've got to listen to the GP when they tell you take you're meds" and "Dad you can't keep phoning them when they tell you they've already told you the same thing they're going to refuse to visit". Result - they now refuse to visit.

"Dad you can't keep calling 999 or they're going to not take it seriously when you're really ill". Result - last two ambulances turned up 24 hours later.

"Dad you can't press the alert button when its not an emergency". Result - hes had two letter now reminding him of the scope of the service. Before too long I fully expect that may be removed.

"Dad you can't moan to the District Nurse that shes turned up later than you like because you're going out because the service is just for housebound patents" - Result - he got removed from the list and told to attend the surgery. (He has since managed to get back on the list but still complains to the DN and says he'd like them to visit at 9am so he can go out!)
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 9, 2019
Paul,

I discontinued the alert button for mom. They would tell her she could press it at any time just to check it. She was using it to socialize!

That’s when the dumb thing worked. I had three of them. Constantly having issues with them not working properly and I ended up calling 911 on my own. So I told them I was not paying $45 a month for a service that didn’t work. Plus I am home all the time so I can easily just call 911 in an emergency. My mother is old, 93 but not blind, she loves those strong, handsome firefighters! Oh my gosh, the firefighters in our district ARE really good looking.

One time the home health nurse came when mom fell, firefighters came and she couldn’t take her eyes off of them! Too funny! Mom and nurse discussed how handsome they are for weeks afterwards! Haha.
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My mom is 92 as well and the only way I can help her (i was living in another state) was move in. I try to keep things organized. We write down all her medical appointments, and try to keep the schedule fresh. There are still things that pop up, especially medication refills that have to happen now. I work at home and do a lot of phone work, so managing this is important.

But I get your problem completely.

You might want to try to just tell her "no" when she makes an "emergency" appointment without first notifying you. Say you can't do it. Period. No negotiations.

On the plus, she is choosing to live independent. That at least gives your own time. The only respite I've had was when she was in rehab because of a nasty fall. She came back home today, and I'm in depression. Wait until she discovers that I just disabled her car. I don't think she should be driving anymore and I'm tired of worrying about her hitting people. So enough of that.
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applewatch - Glad I never read that post just before going to sleep last night. I'd have had nightmares all night about having my Dad move in with me... No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
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Paul,

Knowing what I know from your post, this is 😁 too funny!

I’m so glad your father hasn’t taken away your wonderful, dry, sarcastic humor that I love about you.

Keep laughing, my friend. No one deserves a laugh more than you!

My grandfather came to the US from Birmingham, England. I’ve always wanted to go to England. If I ever go, I am going to message you for the name of your favorite pub and have a drink for the both of us! Mine is gin and tonic. What’s yours? I also love a great beer. 😊
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paulfoel123 Apr 9, 2019
Helo o Gymru NeedHelpWithMom

If you ever visit, Wales in nicer than England ;-)
I always do my bit for Welsh identity by pointing this out. :-)

In all honesty we're all part of the UK, governed from London (with some devolved powers) BUT we do have our own identity and language (OK we can't all speak it fluently though!)

Birmingham is only a few hours drive from me. The border is only 20-30 mins drive from me.

Favourite drink - Cider. Great beer in the US? Nah dont believe it ;-)
(Budweiser is considered in the UK to be on a par with watered down cat pee)
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pattiac,

Yes, it does happen. They take a lot for granted. Have no idea why. Think it is different for different people. My grandmother in law did it because she thought the world revolved around her!

She constantly asked me to cancel plans so she wouldn’t miss a sale at her favorite boutique! Told her no! This woman bought $10,000 watches, then asked for a senior citizen discount at Burger King! They broke the mold with her!

I solved it by telling her to call her sales person and have her set aside some clothes for her and I would take her the following day, which I did. She walked out after spending thousands of dollars, then asked to go to Burger King for lunch! Only time we ate at nice restaurants was when I treated! She was crazy 😜!

It is a challenge to say the least. Most of the time it is wanting sympathy as you say, boredom, fear, frustration, etc.

Sometimes though, it’s something ‘real’. Early one Saturday my mom said she felt funny. I actually saw her fear. She said she felt weak and named a few other symptoms. I really didn’t feel like another ER trip for nothing but I went with her feeling that something indeed might be wrong.

She started with wanting an ambulance again, then complains about the price of ER and ambulance, so I said no to the ambulance and would drive the short distance.

We get there, she complains about the wait. I get annoyed from her chronic complaining and worrying but bottle it up as usual (why I have high blood pressure!) and she will ask me to check how much longer it will be. Of course they can’t tell me but she bugs me to death until I check for her. I have even tried sitting a few feet away and play on my phone but she will still ask me to go see how long it will be, grrrrrr!

Anyway, the nurse calls us in. First thing she asked and I could see it was genuine fear this time was, “Am I going to die?” It broke my heart! The nurse did not answer her and she says, “Oh, Lord. This must be the end!”

They did some test. Checked her vitals. Low blood pressure. Of course she felt off. Dr. said to us it was common for Parkinson’s patients to have low blood pressure and said for her to discontinue her blood pressure meds. I have no idea why she was ever on BP meds because she has never had high BP. I DO!

So we get home and every hour she is checking her BP.

So, sometimes, just sometimes it’s the real deal. A real concern but boy do I feel your pain!

My mom lives with me, 93 with Parkinson’s.

I think doctor appointments give them something to do and something to talk about afterwards. My mom won’t go to a senior center.

You’re right they will always find something. Doesn’t matter if we have plans. They expect us to cancel. Unless it’s an emergency I have learned to say no, most of the time. I’m a work in progress that is trying to learn from this forum too.

I hope it gets better for you, me and our 90 plus year old moms! Take care. I wish you well.

I think you have a good plan by setting aside two days a week. Other than that, maybe hire someone which cost a small fortune! It’s tough. Or insists she do NH or AL if twice a week isn’t enough, at least threaten her with it! LOL. I have done that! I have no room to talk because I am dragging my feet on this as well. It’s very hard, very emotional.

Hugs!
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paulfoel123 Apr 10, 2019
You mother lives with you? Whoa - I want to meet Saint Mr NeedHelpWith Mom lol. (your hubbie).

So you have to pay for an ambulance and ER visit? I guess in the UK we don't really "get it" because its all free.

My Dad would be "different" if he had to pay even a penny for medical care thats for sure. Possibly for the better to be honest! But then, if he was on his last breath he'd refuse to call someone and spend any money so maybe not.

CM will agree I'm sure, the NHS is a funny old thing. Its great being free and all buts its massively underfunded and can't cope. And of course, its free so people misuse it, don't turn up for appointments, call ambulances for no reason (Dad!).

My dear wife fell over ice skating on Sunday. Broke her wrist. 4 hours wait in A&E which is not bad (they were saying 5-6 hours when we left).

As I said, we go on holiday to Florida. There's a huge billboard advertising "Kissimee hospital emergency room wait times" like a digital thing. Its normally about 10 minutes. We used to watch it and say "whoa must be busy its 15 mins today".

If you got seen in A&E in any major hospital in the UK that quick it'd be a miracle.
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Disgustedtoo -Lot of hard working people in the NHS in the UK but it can't cope. Under-resourced.

Of course free healthcare sounds like a cracking idea but in practice its not working. Part of the problem is people are used to it, used to it being rubbish, used to long waits. And worse still because its free and there are no penalties will not turn up for appointments or turn up and A&E with a cough because they dont want to wait for GP. (Another story - getting a GP appt can take 2 weeks - so people dont bother)

My wife was VERY ill last time she was pregnant. Life threatening asthma. One A&E visit we got there 9pm and got home 12am middday next day. Not uncommon.

Some people pay for private health insurance. I do. Had back problems - wait for MRI via NHS was months. Private insurance got me seen within days.
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disgustedtoo Apr 16, 2019
I wouldn't say it is the medical staff anywhere that is the issue in any kind of national health care or Medicare-like system, it is the whole concept and trying to throw it out there without proper planning! To try to cover millions of people without considering ALL the issues, it is doomed. Medicare, without getting private insurance of some kind (advantage plans, Medigap) only covers hospitalizations. NOT doctor visits. NOT medication unless you sign up for these plans! Also, Medicare pays out too much in many cases, or gets taken by fraud, so it isn't in the best financial state even without adding millions more!

"Of course free healthcare sounds like a cracking idea but in practice its not working."

The FREE part kills me too - people might *think* it is free, but it won't be. The government isn't really awash in money (although they can waste a lot of it), it will increase taxes. Even the previous so-called Obama Care was not "free". Subsidized for some, but in the end someone has to pay for it. One of the reasons it was not working as well as planned is many younger people didn't sign up for insurance (cheaper to pay the penalty!), people who are high risk were mandated to be covered (not fair to exclude or gouge people for some of the issues they were overcharged for) and so the rest of us who DID have/pay for insurance had to cover the difference!!

My last year before Medicare, with company sponsored retirement health care cost me almost $12k and all I got for that was a physical exam. Pretty expensive physical!

As for medical staff, when their hands are tied by rules and their income is slashed by these kind of arrangements, what incentive do they have to do a stellar job? Only those who have a real desire to make a difference will continue to try. As for people "abusing" the system - there is nothing in place now to stop them. If the program is "free", we will see more of that here too! Too many people run to the doctor for a magic pill to take care of their sniffles, minor aches and pains, etc, swamping the system. People need to learn to take some ownership and understanding of their health. I see so many who are overweight and likely suffer various ills because of that when many could resolve those issues by taking control of their own lives/health. Doctors don't have "magic" pills. I dread what the "powers that be" will come up with next.
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