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My father is 80 years old and his wife of 15 years has dementia and she has 5 adult children from her first marriage. My dad lived in NY state with his wife and it was getting to hard for him to manage his home. I told him that he and his wife could come live with me and my husband. We moved them here to Mass and her kids were not happy with that but they came to live with us anyway. My dad over the 4th of July was hospitalized and was not doing well and I called her kids to tell them that they needed to have a plan if something would happen to him. At this time his wife also needed to have eye surgery so her kids decided to take her back to NY. She was in NY for 18 days and in that time her son got POA and cleaned out her checking account, that has her name and my dads name on it. He then opened an account with his mother and on the day that she returned to my dad he cleaned it out. I called the bank and they said because he was POA and also on the account it was legal and nothing could be dome about it. That was July now its September my dads wife was not feeling well on Thursday afternoon and by later on she was weak and he had to help her to the bathroom, she was in the bathroom and my husband yelled to me and my dad that he heard her fall. We rushed to the bathroom and she was on the floor, she did not hurt herself but we thought she needed to go to the hospital, so we call for an ambulance. It was late and it was not life threating so I told dad not to call her kids until morning, when he did he got called by one of her sons all kids of names. On Sunday she was going to be released from the hospital and her oldest daughter called on Saturday evening and told us that she wanted all of her mother clothing ready to be picked up because SHE was going to take her mother back to NY State. On Sunday my dad and my husband went to the hospital so my father could see his wife before her daughter showed up, then they came home I went back with my father so he would have someone there to protect him from his wife's daughter. They said that they were taking her to a rehabilitation Center/ nursing home and then they were going to take her home with them when they found a larger apartment. I told them that I would meet them and they could follow me back to my home to get her things, and then I was told they were not going to pick them up. My father received a cell phone call from another daughter and was told that she would let him know where her mother was as soon as she knew. No calls came in and he started to get angry and so we started making calls to nursing homes in NY State on Monday night and we got nowhere. Then on Tuesday night I got a call from a nursing home in NY State telling me that my dad's wife was there and that I was on the list from the hospital as a contact person. The daughter who is the one who took her mother from Mass also works at the nursing home as a nurse and has told the staff that my father has to call her to let her know when he will be visiting.
So what rights does my father have now that they took her from him and they have POA and Healthcare Proxy and now that they have taken over responsibility for her Is he responsible for all of her medical expenses? She only make 439.00 a month on Social Security because did not put into SS. He is very upset and doesn't know what to do? She could very well go on State assistants which would cover all of her healthcare, but my dad has his own insurance But seeing that they took her and don't seem to care about what my dad wants is he still responsible for any of the co-pays that she will occur while they have her in the nursing home and even when she is released and living with them?

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Bless, did you ask your wife whether or not she had ever executed either legal/financial or medical health care proxy to appoint her daughter?
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The POA has more authority. You might be able to file for guardianship.
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i am 65 year old man my wife is in hospital with serrociss of liver and blood infection . she has debilatated to hospitalize 45 days i have been taken care of her for 2years now her daughter recently came out of no where with POA i knew nothing about .i am of sound mind and competent i pay my wife insurance premiums she has usurped my authority to make decision for my wife i will not let her continue to steal money and leech off my wife till her death bed she has no access to my wife accounts nor to my house , she recently overwrote my decision in a health care situation she wants my wife to go to rehabilatation house i want her home that we bought together.i will not allow this at this point i am severering my relationship with my daughter but i am going to fight to make decision for my wife under our contract of marriage .
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No, your uncle cannot appoint someone to be your aunt's POA.
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Can my uncle appoint someone to be my aunt poa if she has alzheimers
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tamonthego---If your son is mentally competent, he can do whatever he wants. She will have all the rights of any wife, such as being contacted as his next of kin in an emergency. A POA is generally limited to financial affairs.
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Close all remaining joint accounts and see a lawyer immediately. No other way.
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My son has given me poa of what little bit he has. he is not married but his girlfriend is wanting to get married really quick. He is on disability and ill. will she have all the power over him or do I still have the power to help him with all his wishes.
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I read the question like this:
He was in sane mind at the time ie of sane mind OR of sound mind.

Either way there's not enough information and icabrown doesn't seem interested in filling out a profile or coming back to clarify things.
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Or do you mean that he was " in sane mind", i.e., he was in his right mind at the time.
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What exactly you mean that he was insane?

Does that mean mentally ill, if so what kind?

Does it mean not able to conduct his own business in a business like manner?

When was he diagnosed the was mentally ill or incompetent and by whom?

Was this before or after he gave his daughter the POA for him?

Did he have this diagnosis when your mother married him?

What specifically is troubling your mother at 57 that his daughter has POA over him and he is now 93.

Is your mother his caretaker?

Does he have a lot of money?
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Lawyer up! I
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POA trumps the spouse in matters that pertain to the POA as designated by the person who gave it, unless that person was not of sound mind and it can be proven, at the time. People do often do this in remarriages at the behest of their kids. On the surface of it, a woman marrying a man when she is forty something when he is in his 80's would possibly not sit well with the dad's children. On the other hand, there are rights that protect the spouse above all others, unless a prenup was done to trump those. See a lawyer.
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icabrown, I am not sure what the condition "insane" is. Was it a temporary condition he recovered from? Do you mean he has a chronic illness, such as bipolar disorder? Is he still "insane"? There are some legal issues here. For example, was he legally competent to sign the POA with his daughter on it? Is he currently legally competent to sign a new POA?

Has daughter been handling his affairs all along? Is Husband now unable to handle his own affairs and she is trying to take over? What brings this issue up now?

The basic answer to your question is, no, the marriage does not supersede the POA in those areas where POA has authority. The POA does not have authority over the person -- for example, cannot decide where the person lives, but may have authority to pay bills.

If you want advice for your particular situation, I suggest you start a new post, with more details.
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Why is this going on? This is horrible. There is so much pain created when someone dies or if kids get involved. Would the kids like that to happen to them? I am so sorry you have to face such a mess. Something is not right here. But, kids need to start staying out of their parents lives. My gosh, they cannot take back the harm they do.
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Was he insane when had gave the POA to his daughter? Did your mother know he had been diagnosed as insane when she married him?

Anyhow, marriage does not superede POA. I was my mother's POA and all of her fiances and medical stuff was handled through me. Had my step-dad been her POAs, she would have died years before she did.
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My mother married a guy in 2004 he was 82 at the time and my mom was 46. Lately my mom found out that his daughter was given POA many year before they got married. He was insane mind at the time. Would like to know if the marriage supersede the POA?
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I'm not sure what protection you are in need of since the will divides everything equally.

Now, I believe that his funeral, bills and personal debt like on a credit card will need to be paid by the executor of the estate before money gets handed out. Normally, that would involve the bank moving his money into the estate of _____ account. That would not be needed and money would be freed up to use after his death, if the accounts were in both names for that gives you the right of survivorship which I experienced with my mother's personal accounts, etc.

Who is the executor of the estate? My mom made me both POAs instead of my step-dad. She would have died much sooner if he had been in charge as bad a shape as he was in.

I hope this helps and I hope the son who is the POA is honest and responsible. Most are, but a few bad apples are around.
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My husband has adult children and has made son POA. His will divides estate equally between children and me. The bulk of our estate is in his separate accounts except for real estate and physical assets. How do I protect my marital rights?
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Yikes, unbelievable situation....Please post your outcome! Gooood luck!
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hello, my dad became very ill some weeks ago and to cut a long story short he has an aggressive cancerous brain tumour and has been given 12 months to live, if he has radiotherapy. he lives with his spouse, although they are not married. myself and my other brother and also sister are not happy at all the way he is being looked after by his spouse and do not trust her. my dad is not in a fit mental state to make decisions. could you please tell me, in brief, what rights do me and his other 2 children have in regards to his care?
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I think that in my case that my mother picked me as her POA because she figured she would be in better care with me than with my step-dad. She was right. I gave him the chance to take care of her with the help of his care giver and they about killed her

I was my dad's POA, but he changed that to my step-sister because I live so far away and had my hands full with my mother. My step-sister was also her mom's POA.
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There must have been a reason why the donor gave POA to her son. One does not "get POA". It is a serious document that has to be given...paperwork involved, witnesses, etc. and only ceases with the death of the donor, unless specifically revoked. Sounds like your father needs legal counsel.
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lacba/Files/LAL/Vol30No8/2425.pdf

If you cannot open this, copy and paste it into your browser. It seems like it is very helpful and would answer a lot of questions.
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I am wondering if, when you moved both parent and step parent near you, did you at any time bring up making yourself POA for them? I guess I assume not, because if so, this would have been prevented. Did you dad or stepmother ever have POA for each other? If her kids' influencing her to make them POA when she has dementia IF she already had POA put into place while she was of her right mind, I would think it wouldn't pass the smell test legally.
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My husband and I are a remarried/blended family with three grown kids each, all with spouses and/or children. There are a LOT of personalities here and it is NOT the Brady Bunch. Now, as for the above situation and the question about what to do now that basically the horse has left the barn, the short answer is YOU NEED A LAWYER. Right now.
Because we are realists and knew that were anything to happen to either of us there would be so much infighting and acrimony, we had an estate planning attorney draw up a trust along with all the necessary POA, DPOA, living will, etc. papers to avoid such a situation as the one you describe. Every state is different, every family is different but one thing is for sure. Remarriage with adult children is not for the faint of heart.
A spouse can and most likely should be named one's POA with a 'default' or fall back POA named should that person be unable to serve in that capacity. As for who that should be, one should choose that person with eyes wide open and without emotion. And I believe almost any lawyer would say, do NOT name co-POA's.
My mother in law did that and it was a disaster that has divided two siblings forever. Brother in law (husband's brother) never saved for his retirement by his own admission and has been an impulsive spender all of this life. His oldest child is his wife's from her first marriage, whom he adopted at a young age. Then they had two more. This BIL has always been very jealous of my successful, saving and planning husband, with his only bragging rights being that he has never been divorced and my husband has. When we got married 12 years ago (we met and fell in love 30 years ago but went our separate ways due to having six young kids who we felt would have a hard time with our blended situation) we had very strong emotional ties to each other's children, because our love for them was what made us put our own relationship on what we thought then was permanent hold. When my husband looked me up and we married 17 years after walking away (BIL knew about that), BIL was unglued with jealousy and has never been nice to me. Now he doesn't have the corner on being the one with the 'stable' marriage as we are so happy together. He has been a lynchpin in making sure he did everything in his power to say bad things about me and put as much trouble between my stepchildren and me as possible as well as badmouthing their dad, my husband. All of this has been in the midst of two brothers who were co-POA everything, with differing opinions on how to best care for their aging parents. BIL held the POA thing over his mother's head the minute their dad passed away in 2006, threatening her to 'put her' into assisted living and ridiculing and demeaning her often. My husband would get the upset calls (we live away and he lives in her small town) from his mother about what BIL did, this or that, and he would flat ask her if she wanted him to do something about it. We both thought she should have the best care, move closer to us so we could take care of her in a warmer climate and a larger town with more resources, etc. When BIL would find out he would bully his mom by not visiting her or being cold to her to get her to fall back in line and she always did. My husband felt so responsible for his mother but she would always back down and after venting, tell my husband to not do anything. So we'd be left with a knot in our stomachs about the really crappy place she eventually ended up in. My husband could have taken this whole thing to court and blown it up but all his mother would keep saying is that she wanted 'you boys to just get along' (these boys were in their 50's and 60's when this was all taking place). I could go on and on but you get the picture. BIL is very devious and painted us in such a bad light we could feel family judgement on us from the kids, who already were prepared to not like me anyway. So much back stabbing and manipulation.
So. When we did our estate planning, we chose one person, THE one, who happens to be my offspring, to be POA, executor, all of it for us. We know each marital relationship, as well as personal traits, and trust this one above all others. Knowing too that he is a saver, his wife is also, they have a very strong and loving marriage and the same values we do and that he is strong enough to take the inevitable onslaught were all important to us. We do not have a prenup. We have loved each other for what seems forever and this is for each of us, really, our 'first' real marriage. But of course the kids will not see it that way. His kids I am sure will come unglued. But these are our wishes and our money and our lives. We are primarily each other's POA. There will be no joint checking or savings accounts with any of our kids as my MIL had with both sons (although my husband never saw though he often requested an accounting and offered always to take care of her bill paying and reconciliations BIL wanted to be sketchy and keep control). If we are incapacitated and cannot act as each other's POA the accounts used for our care will be 'trustee for' and require an accounting of spending.
Sometimes there isn't anything that can be undone once things have taken place. As I said, YOU NEED A LAWYER right now. But for those reading this, put your own houses in order. This site seems as important for learning that as it is to try to sort our the messes that are already made. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
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We were both married before and the wife has this daughter by previous marriage . She now has power of attorney over my wife. DO I have any more power to anything regarding my wife as we are still legally married?
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my mother is living with my sister she is in stage 4 cancer I use to be her poa over medical but hospice has informed me that my sister is now and she told hospice not to give me any information about her. my mother is still married but her husband lives in NY, I have asked hospice if they could at least contact me or her husband to tell us when she passes away. Hospice told me it is against Hipaa law to inform us of her passing??? Is this true as it becomes public record when she passes??? also as she is still married does the husband have any rights??
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This son can't just take money out of a checking account without cause. Also, since your father's name is on the account, he also has rights which this son does not have over your father's money. Get an attorney immediately - criminal charges may have to be filed against this person for stealing but act immediately, like RIGHT NOW.
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Come to think of it, why not google & call the same agencies in the state & local area she is actually housed in. Call yours first & get some advice. Then Google & call the local area she is in. Google the nursing home she is in. Then Google nursing home ombudsman i.e. Lansing, Michigan nursing home ombudsman. Call the agency that is out of in that area. Tell them about your father - the husband & the situation. See what advice they have to protect the married assets so your dad doesn't become penniless & unable to be cared for. Your biggest problem right now is if she goes on nursing home medicaid, medicaid will come after the home & car they owned as married unless you are careful about the process protecting his interests. Due to that I am not sure those children will be successful at applying for her benefits without your dad signing something. Since this will affect comm. prop. I doubt they can get far without his signature. Anyway, call the agencies in your area & get advice telling them a lawyer can't help since it is out of state. Then call any agencies that have to do with her facility & that town, state or county she's in & tell your story. The ombudsman is supposed to help the patient not their family. That may be your helper. One more suggestion is to find out who the corporation is that owns the facility. Most are chains. Call the corporate office business/finance department & tell your story & your concerns. You should at least be able to ascertain what is paying for her stay right now. As her husband's daughter I would think you could call the nursing home business office and ascertain if she is on medicaid or not. Then you can call a medicaid lawyer in your town and see if they can help at all. Still the agencies are better. Remember social security & medicare are federal (therefore not state based), your dad couldn't cut her off from benefits but one thing might be possible & you will hate this but to protect dad's assets/income you might want to consider a divorce for them. Again the 2 states are an issue but if they are doing this, they will only have access to her ss income & not the married assets if you involve a divorce att. but then they are expensive too. I don't know what prop they have but if dad is staying out of the facilities it wouldn't be a bad idea to divorce so that medicaid can only seize what she's got at her death rather than seizing his home after his because of her or something.
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