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I went to visit my 91 y.o. mother with alzheimers/dementia and other physical ailments. She currently is a resident of Delaware. She resides in my brother's home and she has 24 hour caregivers which are paidfrom my mother's funds. My brother has POA. I discovered that my visit with my mother in her bedroom without anyone else present was both filmed and recorded. I did not give permission and given my mother's condition, I sincerely doubt that she gave permission either. Does anyone have any thoughts concerning my brother's belief that he has the right to film all that goes on in her bedroom given he has her POA? He also has his housekeeper sign for mail restricted to my mother using my mother's name. Thanks, Chad

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i do agree that you have every right to your privacy when spending time with your mom, Absolutely.
But as her POA and Primary Caregiver, your brother has a legal and moral obligation to protect her from anyone, and since she has 24 hr caregivers coming in, I don't see why or how anyone could argue with 24 hr monitoring.
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POA or not--to my way of thinking this sounds very sick, what your brother is doing, unless these are survelence cameras to see how the caregivers are acting??--Your Mom deserves privacy and respect...If this were me I would report this incodent to an eldercare organization, or even better to the Alzheimer's Association-as they have a legal department and can probably point you in the right direction. The helpline # is (800) 272-3900.
As for the housekeep signing for your Mom's restricted mail--I am not sure if that is legal-your postal department would know-as well as the legal department of the Alz Assoc.
Best to you in finding your answers.
Hap
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I'm not an attorney, but that just doesn't sound legitimate! If you go back to visit I would ask that it be turned off! He may have it on to be sure the caregivers are not ripping your mother off or hurting her! Otherwise I would have to believe he is very paranoid & controlling! He would have no excuse to film you on your visit, but he might say that he had it on because of strangers he has in and out of the home & forgot to turn it off! What did he say was his reason? M from Illinois
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Oh what a good thread. I absolutely DO have cameras in my home and its for my Moms safety, suggested by our accountant who is a Trustee for several families who have caught bad actions of caretakers who have had background checks, etc. I have seen my caretakers leave my mom alone in a room and go in another room and text their friends for 20 minutes, spend 7 minutes in the bathoom with her saying they showered her, and then on their phones again as she has coffee with no breakfast. I do Not have a camera in the bathroom for everyone's privacy, but I have heard her scream in there from the kitchen camera. Cameras, Nanny Cam's are for the safety of children and the elderly. As far as siblings, if they dont like it, they can take her out , or they shouldnt be saying anything wrong but they do. My sister called my Mom a Bitch behind her back one day and my camera caught it, this is the wonderful nurse sibling who just loves mom so much that she visits her 3-4 times a year. One time she was asking my mother why she didnt give her any money! yes, we have the right , and we earn the right as caretakers, its our responsibility and I hope if I am ever alone with a caretaker when I am old, my family has a camera on us also. Whats the problem here, no one should have any worries unless they are saying the wrong things. Maybe a legal expert should chime in here.
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I have read through the responses here, and since I have been on both sides of this 'issue' it seems I am compelled to put in my two cents in.

When Mom was here with me I used 'camera's to keep an eye on Mom so she could feel independent and yet I could still 'see' what she was doing. There were many ways this helped me. I could tell when she woke up in the middle of night, the 'motion detector' would turn on the tv in my room and I could 'check in' with Mom without disturbing her. I could tell when she was anxious without hovering over her ALL the time. I could tell when she was scared, and offer my support. I could tell when she was NOT in the mood for company and I left her alone (for a while). I could 'remind' her that there WAS water in her room, and that we DO love her, and that she WAS safe and not alone.

This provided me with 'insights' to her anxieties and concerns. "They took my ....... (fill in the blank)!" A common problem with Alzheimer's. A quick 'review of Mom's activity in her room would show that the "...." was in the drawer, purse, garbage, box ELSEwhere in her room. "I am SO hungry... they didn't give me anything to eat today" !!! That meant she was hungry AGAIN, and needed another snack, so she could fall asleep full and happy.

My brother ALSO noticed a camera on one of his FEW visits, and thought this 'observation' was a violation of my mother's privacy too, but I begged to differ. After hearing her tell my 'other' brother that we would put her to bed without supper, or water, or clean bedding' prompted me a NEED to be able to support what was going on. I wasn't being defensive, I was being careful. SO many elder abuse cases start when an untrue statement is made by a sweet little old lady! And it may not be the fault of the caregiver at ALL! (hired or family).

As far as being 'filmed' "I" was on these films too, and I learned more about myself sometimes than I did about my mother. After careful review of some 'daily activities' early into my caregiver capacity, I noticed that "I" wasn't being as patient as I could have been, or as 'responsive' as I could have been. I also learned what annoyed my mother when she thought I wasn't watching. Boy did I learn quickly what worked and what didn't.

I was NOT spying on my mother, I was NOT posting video of her escapades on You-Tube. I was learning how to deal with her Alzheimer's and also how to protect myself from what could easily have been a family feud on how I was caring for my mother while she was here with me.

Did I have the camera going 24/7? Nope... do I wish I would have? YES!! Now that my mother is gone, I actually would welcome just seeing her doing anything!

I know many people are intimidated by cameras, but believe me, after a few days, even the person that installed the camera 'forgets' the camera is there. And just be yourself! There's no director/producer there telling you what to do, just do what you would normally do.

My brother would GOAD my mother when she was in his care, and then 'film her' while she was having a meltdown. He would take a camera out and FILM her, telling her that SHE was being mean, etc. THAT was cruel. I never did that.. I truly intended it to be a good tool.

I honestly believe that if cameras WERE allowed in nursing homes, there would be MUCH MUCH less abuse and neglect than what we are seeing now! Even in FIVE star places, there is room for improvement!

In my humble opinion, it's not an invasion of privacy that nursing homes are afraid of, it's LIABILITY for the (lack of) care they are providing! I think we should ALL behave like the world is watching ALL the time. Maybe that would make us kinder, and more accountable for our actions.

I do not know your brother's intention for filming your mother, but I also applaud him for recording her care when there is an outside caregiver involved. SO many of the best caregivers (unintentonally) ignore or neglect their charges, and we would NEVER know. Advising a caregiver that they are being monitored is morally suggested (if not legally) but if they have a problem with that, then they should NOT be caring for your loved one. With Alzheimer's we can't rely on our 'loved one's' recollection of how they were treated.

Talk to your brother about his reason. Ask if "his" interactions with your mother are also recorded, and ask if you can 'review these tapes. You may see that there is nothing wrong with this practice, if it is done for the good of your mother!!!

Not an easy topic to discuss... but one worth discussing!
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Seriously, in my situation, from time to time I've thought of cameras to help protect me from false accusations.
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No. No one has the "right" to film another person in their bedroom under any circumstance, except if there is suspicion that a crime is being committed.
Call the local police and report your brother. A POA does not grant this type of behavior. Guardianship MAY give a guardian rights, but not filming a person in their own bedroom.
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i would not want to have someone film me 24-7 . i wouldnt know how to act .
i can understand if u think shes begin mistreated one way or another then i would have that camera on her and caregiver till u find nothing s wrong then it should be shut off .
24-7 just for the hell of it , its crazy ...
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As I understand it, it is NEVER okay to sign someone else's name, for mail or anything else. It is forgery. If you have some legal right to represent the other person, then you sign YOUR name, and then a brief description of your type of authority (e.g. POA).
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Great post Mia, so true, we should all be acting as if the world is always watching us . I think this brother is taking great care of his Mom and is doing it for her protection. I also had an incident where the caretaker told me "my Mom was abusing her" I didnt believe this could be my Mom until I watched the tapes and she was correct, my mom was trying to hit her!! We got her on new medication and it stopped, boy am I glad I had the camera on that day and we now laugh about it, she turned out to be the best caretaker I have. So, until you take care of someone fulltime, even if you work outside the home also, you cannot judge anyone's motives. The continual stress, the sleepless nights, the dr visits , mood swings , wet beds, diapers, along with juggling of different medications and caretakers is unexplainable and almost unbearable, we dont have to put up with it, but guess what, we do because of a stong bond of love. If your brother didnt deeply love you Mom, he wouldnt be doing this. No amount of money is making your brother or anyone else take on this huge caretaking job. This is a priceless, thankless job in more ways than one, but we live with clear a conscious that we did everything possible out of pure love. Amen
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