At some point does dementia just become long term care?

Different types of dementia progress differently, but I can tell you about my experience with my mother, who had Alzheimer's. Some Alzheimer's specialists divide it into 7 stages, with stage 7 being the terminal stage. We kept my mother at home until she was at the end of stage 6, at which point we moved her to memory care for about 3 months, after which she declined quickly and we moved her to a skilled nursing home, where she lived for about 8 more months and then passed away with very advanced symptoms of the disease. In the last year of her life she was so confused that she was unable to dress or bathe or feed herself. She did not recognize any family members. She would poop and pee all over the floor, wander like crazy, be up at every hour of the night, and had frequent violent behavior to caregivers. It was WAY too much for one caregiver, or even several caregivers. She needed full-time institutional care. But she was young (68) and so her body was otherwise healthy, which is why she was in a regular memory care unit first. But she declined rapidly while in the memory care unit, became bedridden and non-verbal. So that's when we moved her to skilled nursing. You're right, the money probably won't last forever. Skilled nursing will be covered by MediCAID, while most memory care units in an assisted living facility will not. In our case, it was good that my mom was able to go to a skilled nursing facility, because she had no financial assets and so Medicaid covered all costs while she was there (7K/month).

I should add that the reason we had to go with a memory care unit first and not skilled nursing is because my mom was very mobile--she wandered. ..a lot! The nursing homes in our area do not have locked or secure areas, and they wouldn't take her because she was a risk to wander off. Once she became bedridden, that obviously was no longer a risk, so she was then able to go to skilled nursing. It may be different in your area--you may be able to go with the skilled nursing facility option sooner if you find one with a secure unit that can keep wanderers safe, if that's applicable to your situation.

Ihave1, My mom w a s asked to leave because her behaviors were a danger to herself and others. The facilities cannot watch everyone all the time. Memory care is more an assisted living arrangement for those that are pleasantly demented which happens often. But, not for my mom. She would kick and bite and scratch, you name it she did it. They cannot have someone like her in memory care, too dangerous. The doc had tried every combo of med and it did not help mom. In some cases she got worse. Yes, she was heavily medicated towards the end of her life. It was the only way to keep her comfortable and others safe. Always have a backup plan in case memory care does not work. Hospice told us about the care home that mom passed in. It was perfect for her.

Do you just wear out?

I'm assuming your mom has advanced Alzheimer's.
Yes, she can be in a nursing home. Memory care facilities are custodial care just like nursing homes. Memory care specializes in dementias and the NH has many different disabilities.
I hope none of us get to the point of wearing out. I'd like to enjoy my retirement! 🙁

My dad was in a secure MC unit.. and I was glad, It kept him safer when he wanted to wander about. Think of it as a safety net!

My mom seems to be aggressive if she doesn't take her reperidone. That's my worry. Okay. I'm getting ready for to try another year in her home. I hope all stars line up.

Just because it's stated as a secure environment doesn't mean the person is locked up.

I think the memory care/secure environment has more staff assigned to it as the aides need to frequently eyeball the residents to assure they are safe. I could be wrong with the amt of staff to resident ratio. 

We were thinking of relocating my MIL from NY down here in MD and toured a few memory care facilities and noted - as least the center's marketing person that took us for the tour- alluded the staff/resident ratio was 1:3.

The Memory Care floor was just in a separate wing where all the doors leading out were promptly locked and the staff needed a code to ride the elevator down one floor to the exit. That wing was locked.

It certainly didn't look like the residents were stopped from any activity but received more attention on that day. The staff had many residents out in the common area and were engaged with the residents in playing catch, looking through books, etc. 

Not that I trust staffing ratios to be what they say they should be due to staff calling out sick & understaffing, thus you can't really verify.

Try to think of a secure unit as a good thing.

Good luck!

My mom had been in memory care for about a year and a half when she was asked to leave. She was in the final stages and had been on hospice for three months. Mom's final stages she was very confrontational and aggressive. She was a danger to herself and others. She was moved to a very nice, locked down care home and was well taken care of. All residents there had been kicked out of their previous facilities. There were fewer residents, about 12 I think. Staff ratio there was lower 1:4. And it was a bit cheaper unless you add the private caregiver that was necessary because mom needed 24 hour monitoring. Mom passed after four months there on hospice that came in as well.

Why would they be asked to leave, and why would your mom need 24 hr monitoring? This are good points that I need to know before I make this move.