Does anyone think about assisted suicide so you won't end up like your parents?

its a contentious subject, but yes, I agree with you.

since my father has heart failure ive been thinking alot about how i will end up since i dont have kids and wont have any and not married..... i do not want to be put in a nursing home which i will be bur i am afraid of death.... but i think at that point of my life i hope i come to terms with death and i would totally do assisted suicide as long as i was terminal.

Yes - I agree too. I also wish it were not such a contentious subject as it is not listed in the Care Topics menu.

I have already taken legal steps to be placed in a very good local residential care center with a “stepped placement” set up so that my care will be appropriate to my needs, and I have always been focused philosophically on the intention that miracles are identified and discovered every other day.

If a medication comes along that actually does restore cognitive integrity, I’ll want it to be tried on earth.

My own LO is presently declining significantly, as did her mother and my mother, but SOME of the other members of this side of my family, even with significant disease process (PD), retained their cognitive integrity to the very end. No extraordinary measure will be provided, but she receives exemplary care in her SNF, and I keep an eye on things almost everyday.

I’m too nosy to want to cut myself off from my natural future, whatever it may hold.

Nothing at all contentious here. We all need to think this out and do the best we can for ourselves.

Just stop seeing your doctor... ever.
Discontinue all your medications now, including any over the counter supplements.
Eat, drink and be merry.

Yes, I have thought about it. My brother has early onset Alz. He is 4 years older than me, so YES, I am scared of being such a huge burden on my kids and husband. That said, I am doing everything I can to try and circumvent the possibility of going down that road. I follow the Bredesen Protocol and read constantly about what is new in this field. It has helped me if nothing else, to feel like I am doing something positive.

Author Amy Bloom has recently written a Memoir about her Husband's determination, when diagnosed with early Alzheimer's to avail himself of Dignitas in Switzerland to make his "final exit" by his own plan and on his own timetable. While it is loaded into my Kindle at present I haven't yet read it. It is called In Love: a Memoir of Love and Loss. Dignatas is not open to all in that it costs on average 10,000 to go there. It is one of the few places one can LEGALLY make a final exit with a diagnosis of age alone. You might wish to read her book.
Facebook also has a page called Final Exit that can be joined should you wish further discussion on self-deliverance.
As a nurse I have of course discussed this subject endlessly with fellow medical staff. Many feel we should have more options on timing our exit.
I would caution that some of your thinking involves fears of loss, an almost planned depression, and one should never act when thinking is in that realm. More than you can know plan their exit when ill. It isn't widely discussed, I fear.
It is a subject I wish was more discussed, but Americans have quite a determination to avoid discussion of the hard stuff.
I would venture to say only to know that you are not alone in your thinking.

It's a rational thought. Assisted suicide does help people with ALS, MS, terminal cancer and other lethal conditions. Dementia is indeed an exception because like you say, you have to be mentally competent to make that decision. However, you don't have dementia and may be you will never get it. There is no way to predict dementia. It's a lottery and nobody knows who will be the loser. Why worrying so much now?

It was a beautiful sunny day, and my neighbor and I were talking about the usual neighbor stuff. Somehow we got onto the topic of dementia and we’re soon sharing tips as it were on how to accomplish our right to die before that diagnosis. It was rather Kevorkianesque, but also realistic.

I expect right to die to become easier as boomers age.

I'm surprised and strangely comforted to learn that I'm not the only one who has thought about suicide rather than live with dementia. I've watched my mother decline over the years. She's in memory care now, and somewhat adjusting. I have no children or family to help me (who would help me) and I know now that I wasted many years "helping" my mother instead of living my life, maintaining friendships, working two more years, so much more. I don't want to do that to anyone. Maybe I'm feeling negative because I haven't yet recovered from all years of caregiving.

A French journalist named Hugo Clement did a video interview not too long ago with an elderly French woman -- who didn't seem sick or in ill health when he interviewed her -- who had signed the papers making arrangements for assisted suicide in Switzerland. You might be able to find it online if you google his name and "assisted suicide" or something like that.

I want a cocktail of meds that will send me off peacefully into the abyss. I'll get my own personal stash (saving up for that rainy day) and wash it down with an exquisite glass of wine. Seriously, watching my mother decline from Vascular Dementia, I know this is a place I never want to visit. Although she has been demanding and manipulative her entire life, and I still (working on it) harbor many grievances, this has been a very long, hard road for all of us. As we boomers age it will strain our health care system beyond capacity.......I think it is imperative we all have the choice to die with at least some shred if dignity. There is no humanity in making people live under such dire circumstances.

I know someone who at around age 70 made a conscious decision to die. She had been schizophrenic all her adult life and lived in a care home due to various ailments. She notified her family, who respected her decision. She then stopped eating and drinking. It took about 5 days.

I seriously wish to have the right to end my life, should I be diagnosed with Alzeheimer/dementia. BUT my more intense reaction, to my parent’s poor health/dementia, and mom’s very difficult mobility issues, is too stay as healthy as possible. To do what I did not see role modeled. The women on mom’s side were inclined to be obese, overweight, not active, so I’ve worked hard, to stay a healthy weight, move daily, stay active and live with discipline. It’s ingrained in me to live one day at a time, cause I got sober, with 12 steps, at age 24, almost 40 years ago, and those steps guide me daily. Thankful. Every. Day.

Instead of feeling like I’m going to end up like my elders, I’m doing my best to stay independent, continue challenging myself, keep learning tech, embrace change, declutter, all the stuff I saw my MIL doing, but she still got Alzeheimers. My own mom did very little of those things, and she is dealing more with loss of mobility, but def has dementia. Both our parents have official diagnoses of memory loss disease, but their memories are better than they are bad, now. They still know us kids, remember lots, but forget lots.

So if it gets me, I’d appreciate opting out, but will plan, with my husband for what we do, if not possible. We used to joke that since we want to go together, we’d simply jump on an iceberg, and float off to our fate, happily heading for whatever is next, together. As we age, we realize it is better to make actual realistic plans, because burdening our children, with our lack of preparation, or because we wanted things done our way, with no regard to the burden it will bear on our two kids, is not for us.

I feel like a traitor, even writing these words, but living under this, the past 4-8 years, watching our parent’s deteriorating health, and their increasing dependence, on their youngest daughter, our youngest sister, has also made life tough. I won’t go into it here, but things are the way they are because it is the way our mom, dad and sister want it. They live together, always have, their choice, never discussed with the three older sisters. It is what it is.

This is my first post, and the subject brought me out from under the covers, as I’ve been lurking this forum, for over four years. You’ve helped keep me sane. We’re all just doing our best to support our sister and parents, always have, too much to say to tell the story, but know that lack of communication is deadly, and memory loss disease, combined with immobility, incontinence and poor health, is a lot to deal with, so I want the easy way out, in case doing everything possible to avoid it, does not work.

Thanks for having a place for people to go for excellent, honest, caring advice. I’ve experienced how much people can help each other, just by sharing their troubles and solutions. It works!

I believe that we shouldn't artificially prolong life but, ultimately God has numbered our days, so...

I live in an area that is a huge snowbird and retirement community, far and wide, every small town, every place within 200 miles has catered to the aged for decades.

We have so many silver alerts and I can not help but think, these are without variation, people that have Alzheimer or dementia, did they knowingly walk away to let nature take it's course? It doesn't take long in our extreme heat to become unconscious and die. Sounds like a good option if you can no longer have any quality of life.

2 words, Dr G (Dr Garavaglia)

I don't think about that for myself, just want to be comfortable and not in a lot of pain. My husband though talks about finding a way out before he becomes unable to take care of himself. We are 73 and 76 and both have our individual health issues that will for sure get worse, but we eat right and exercise to stave off the inevitable. I try to live in the now. He worries. Interesting topic. I like to think that I do not know until I get there how I will feel about being really sick, but the dementia diagnosis keeping one from deciding for themselves certainly is concerning. My father committed suicide and I wish either a medication to stop his pain had been found or an assisted suicide had been available to him instead of the violent way he went out. It was too horrifying for those of us left behind.

Yes. Switzerland is a viable option, but expensive and far away. Here is another interesting option, recently written up in the NY Times. https://www.dezeen.com/2019/05/22/philip-nitschke-death-pod-design/amp/. A death pod, developed recently. Expensive as well, but not as expensive as my moms 10, 000 a month Skilled Nursing, or other facilities. Myself and my youngest sibling, who is mentally I’ll are moms only surviving children. I am the oldest, 68 and live 400 miles away, traveling to visit regularly. She is 92 , has lived alone, falling often for 18 years, so far. She is relatively safe now, but it has been an exhausting journey. I would never want to subject my kids to it….

I am 68 years old, my father passed when I was a child, and I lost my mom to lung cancer thirty years ago. I thank my mother daily for leaving the way she did. Her cancer had metastisized to her bones but went undiagnosed for 4-5 weeks. During that time, I visited her at home 2-3 times a week, to help around the house or just chat. She was always in a pleasant mood, due to the opiates they used to prescribe :) and we had long, intimate talks about life and memories. We still didn't know she was terminal, but one night she collapsed (she was married). Once she was in the hospital and diagnosed, her mental facilities instantly declined and when she became frightened, I asked the doctor to please give her something to calm her. He did, and she was transferred to a local nursing home where she was put on morphine. When her pain became unbearable, I told the staff to feel free to increase the dosage to keep her as comfortable as possible. She lived the few days it took for everyone to say goodbye, then again, I encouraged the doctor to increase the medication and she peacefully slipped away. I often wonder if the doctor purposely helped her along. I like to think that my passing will be as peaceful and drama free as my mom's, but my how times have changed. I have made my own plans and let my kids know they won't have to go through the pain of fighting with siblings over who is going to take care of me! None of us want to be a burden, but we probably not leave as gracefully as my mom did.

So, now at 68, I see my friends watching and caring for their 95 year old parents, watching them swim upside down like a dying goldfish for what seems like forever, fighting with siblings for time or inheritance, and I am so thankful my parents (my step father, too) went so early and quickly. It is the most loving thing to do. At some point, it will be too late to have any say in our treatment. That is the what scares me the most. Thanks, mom, and don't worry about me, kids, I have a plan.

I hope to assist myself.. with all the pills we are placed on as we age it should not be hard. I just hope I don;t forget where I put them. ( Still Alice)

I think about this a lot and my preference would be to just wonder out in the wilderness and let the animals take me.

Yes. I want to make a pact with my husband. I have 2 grandparents who lived to 98 in nursing homes. Terrible existences. I have a mother who is 91 and immobile. I can't stand her life. She is either on her last legs or oblivious at my visits. Other direct descendants died early because they smoked or didn't frequent visiting doctors. I do my best at almost 66 to eat well and exercise but I fear ending up like any relatives I described.

My frustration with my mother has to do with a number of issues. She has had so many periods dating back to my childhood when she couldn't cope and stayed in bed. She practiced Christian Science. That did not solve two hip and one knee replacement along with countless other issues. I tried to have her be healthier.

During Covid she developed a septic infection. She spent time in a hospital and was released to rehab and then SN. She hasn't walked since. 9 months ago she was dropped by an aid who went against protocol and both her femurs were broken. She then developed a horrific bedsore which she still has. She has to be catheterized. I feel very bad about all of this but there is nothing else for me to do but visit and see countless residents whose quality of life is nonexistent at least from my viewpoint. Crying, screaming for help or totally out of it. I don't know how anyone could want this.

SO shared conversations where his father told him that he, the dad, would be ready to check out if he was ever in a diaper, which he now is. That was like maybe six years ago.

My father had Derek Humphrey's Final Exit on his coffee table. This would have been in the 1990's. It wasn't an issue for him because he died suddenly from a cerebral hemorrhage. The Final Exit Network still exists.

Alzheimer's could wipe out any kind of planning, so you'd have to act pretty soon after it was clear you had it.

Everyone should have an Advance Directive filled out and kept by people who would need to know about it.

I don't know about assisted suicide, but I would probably get to a point that I would stop taking my medication; especially, if my behind is too old and I can't wipe my old butt. LOL People are living longer because of all of the medications they take that are keeping their organs going even though the brain is long gone. It would be nice if the body would still have some get up and go in it, but who in the heck wants to live life day in and day out living on fifty pills a day just so these CEOs of these big pharma companies stuff their pockets.

It becomes a burden on families. One person is sacrificed to give up their job to take care of these folks. The sacrificial lamb or goat is left with not enough money in their retirement savings and will be living a life of uncertainty in their own golden and twilight years. Then you have the family infighting of who is going to do what.

Reading these stories on Aging Care has gotten me triggered because it is a wakeup call to reality. At a certain age, we cannot trash our own lives to save someone else out fear, obligation and guilt.

I am thinking of poison herbs / plants as a way out , for myself. Doing the research now , and that will be my Plan B,,, if natural death isn’t going to take me out soon enough.

I am in Canada, we have had MAiD for a while.

https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/medical-assistance-dying.html#b11

People can now make a statement that they want MAiD while of sound mind, even if they suffer from dementia in the future.

My Godmother chose MaiD, my uncle is considering it. I know my mother does not want to live if she loses control of either her mind or her body.

My plan is to wait till my fur babies pass because I can't leave them alone, then simply stop eating and drinking. No mess, no fuss.
I'll leave a note for family. I never want to be a burden to them.

Yes. There are states that allow it, I think Washington State does. You made need to establish residency there for a certain amount of time and get a physician to document that this is your wishes before you hit that stage of dementia.

I don’t recommend assisted suicide. I recommend prayers and strength of God for the process. We do not know if worst is waiting at the other side. Jesus spoke about the afterlife