I’m in the 5th year of caring for my mom who has cancer. Now that she is on hospice, and death is more imminent, A lot of painful family dynamics are surfacing. I think our mom has raised us all in a way that now causes us to compete, rather than collaborate. None of us has truly received the parental blessing of being loved and accepted unconditionally or been unselfishly cared for. We’ve all had to fight for the blessing. We’ve been manipulated instead of loved, and triangulated instead of embraced and protected. On some level, we’re all still hoping that Mom will unite us as a family, but she won’t, because she needs to get all of her needs met and she needs each one of us to provide something different for her. It would not benefit her if we united under one understanding as siblings. I want her to pass away, so that we can begin to heal. As it is now, we’re all trying to care for her, with resentments and questions about where we stand with her.