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Mom keeps putting things in the toilet that don't belong there and overflowing the toilet. Does anyone know of a solution to this other than having someone in there with her at all times? She will not allow that I'm certain. I am hoping someone had a fix for this issue. We are keeping our plumber living the high life lately!

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1.Check her BEFORE she enters the bathroom for 'flushable' items.
2. Remove EVERYTHING from the bathroom she uses leaving only toilet paper that has no cardboard roll (you can buy it that way these days). Remove towels, packages of wipes, lotions, potions, medicine, everything in other words. So the only thing she can do in the bathroom is use the toilet. And the only thing she can flush down the toilet is her waste, the allotted toilet paper or the clothing she's wearing.
3.If she has to take a bowel movement, you'll have to accompany her into the bathroom with moistened wipes that you will figure out how to dispose of.
4. If she refuses to be accompanied into the bathroom, look into Memory Care Assisted Living for her right away. In most cases, Alzheimer's/Dementia reaches a point where the person can no longer be cared for in the home and needs a team of care givers around the clock, 24/7. Safety issues tend to also crop up, wandering at night, trying to cook in the kitchen, etc, that make the entire situation unmanageable.

I work in a Memory Care home & this morning I came in to find a very large pile of feces on the carpet in the resident hallway. Left there by a gentleman who often forgets where his toilet is and thinks it's perfectly fine to take a BM right there on the floor. Or on the upholstered chair in the living area. Again, dementia & ALzheimer's often reaches a point where in-home care is no longer feasible.

Best of luck!
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Reply to lealonnie1
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gdaughter Jan 23, 2020
Hope that upholstered chair is covered in Crypton fabric:-)
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Perhaps a motion detector at the entrance to the bathroom/ toilet to alert someone that she’s going in; remove any items from her person and pockets that she could flush. Only leave a small amount of toilet paper inside the bathroom. Kid proof or lock all the bathroom cabinets so she doesn’t have access to anything inside the bathroom that could be flushed. Also make sure the shower/ tub area doesn’t have any loose items ( ripe for flushing). All those items could be placed into a shower caddie ( locked up ) for use when needed.
This is a major problem for Memory Care facilities; I once spoke about this issue with the owner of my Mom’s memory care facility. Interestingly, he told me that it’s usually the male residents who pull this costly and disruptive trick.
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this issue, but please know that you’re not alone and this is unfortunately very common with Alzheimer’s and memory- impaired people. You might call a few memory care facilities in your area and ask to speak with management about what additional measures they take for this issue.
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Reply to gemswinner12
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How about putting one of those plastic urine measuring inserts in the toilet. She can load that up but when she flushes nothing in actually in the toilet bowl to flush. Good luck.
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EllenSW Jan 18, 2020
Thats a great idea! maybe she wont figue out how to remove it!
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It's a bit of a p.i.t.a but disconnecting the chain in the toilet tank would make it unflushable, therefore stopping costly clogs and backups.
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gdaughter Jan 23, 2020
You know...along those lines...wondering if a new tank with a new type of handle would work...i.e. instead of the lever we push down, a push button...or one where the mechanism is on the opposite side? Sort of an expensive thing to try for a fix...but not any more than multiple plumber calls...
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If your mother is putting things into the toilet and causing horrible problems as a result, she obviously is mentally incompetent. Short of keeping her locked up with a pail in a room or attaching her to you with a rope or chain, you can't stop her. You could put a lock on the bathroom door but i assure you she will find something else to destroy. This cannot be permitted no matter what but YOU have to realize without any doubts she cannot stay in your home. It is time that you put her somewhere where the facility can monitor her. I would really explode if someone did this in my home, no matter who they are or why they are doing it. I would stop it at once. This is unacceptable and you won't be able to stop her..
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lealonnie1 Jan 19, 2020
The admins really need to offer a THUMBS DOWN button for comments like this. Placing a loved one in a Memory Care environment is not a 'punishment' but a act of love by family members who wish to keep their mother's safe & cared for.
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Ellen, what type of things is she putting in there? Depends? Clothing? Things she finds in the bathroom? Things she brings in with her? I'm rooting for the forum to come up with a do-able solution for you!
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bluefinspirit Jan 21, 2020
Yes. Go team! :-)
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Child proof toilet lock for the lid. Hassle for you to come open it each time but ensures she won’t be unattended and flushing what she shouldn’t
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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My mom needed her #2's monitored for a bit, and that was just about the worst thing ever for her! Me helping her with a shower was uncomfortable, but o.k. Me looking at her poop was unthinkable.

We put a signs up: "Doctor says do not flush your poop." That didn't work. We taped the toilet handle. That didn't work. I turned off the water below the toilet so the toilet wouldn't flush. That worked for a while, but dang if mom didn't figure out how to turn the water back on. She couldn't tie a shoelace anymore but was more than able to figure out the plumbing issue.

We kept with it, though, and eventually my mom got tired of, bored with, and/or disinterested in thwarting our efforts to monitor her BMs. The combination of signs and shutting off the water is what eventually worked.

Not exactly what you asked, but I guess what I'm saying is that just when you think you've found a solution, your mom may surprise you with a workaround. All you can do is laugh and try again. ;-)
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Reply to bluefinspirit
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She needs to be supervised when she is in the bathroom.

No fun to be the one that has to make this the new normal, but a whole lot safer than the house being destroyed by an over flowing toilet.

You can also ask the plumber to quote remodeling the bathroom into a wet room. That makes clean up easier and stops water from infiltrating the structure.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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I would get so mad at my mom because she would put all sorts of things in the toilet. She was so confused. It was not her fault. She has been gone for over a year now. Wish I had been more patient and understanding.

Taking care of a parent with memory loss is difficult.
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