Does anyone feel this way too?

My mother inlaw would take her oxygen off while she was on hospice.
Her daughter would move it back into place which would annoy MIL. Finally MIL said in exasperation. “If I die, I die.” Which she did a couple of days later.

Im pretty sure its unconscious. At first, it was partly because she just didnt like it . Didnt like that others could see it and it would make her dependent and look old. But it didnt matter that much in the begining because her o2 wouldnt drop so drastically the first couple years.. She was also much more mentally with it . Now her o2 plunges and its just her taking it off to wipe her nose or whatever and not remembering. Ive done everything :begging , signage, paper tape .. lol I even threatened to staple it to her face. which i wouldnt of course . I started out not wanting to scare her .. cogoling, begging, then pouting, demanding ,, leavin in a huff .. telling her she would die w/ o it . which she will ... nothing really helps its beyond her . Her left arm hurts when it over taxes her heart with 2 bad valves adn at least then she calls for me . Not that she even thinks to look for her o2 then after more hten 9 years .. shrugs what can you do but eat chocolate , drink asti and slowly go mad

Does she do this deliberately, or unconsciously, do you know? If deliberate, how does she explain it?

Does she have any cognitive impairment that might prevent her from understanding why she needs this supplemental oxygen, and the consequences of not using it?

I'm so sorry about this, Baskethill1. If your mom is 96, I would assume you are a senior as well. It sounds not so much that you've encountered secret caregiver reality but that you've simply reached the breaking point of providing 24/7 care for someone who apparently may be healthy enough to live on for years, to be totally frank.

Is there any other way for your mother to be cared for? It doesn't sound like you have a lot of years left in you at the rate you've been going.

First, do you know why she removes the cannula? I know it's irritating and cumbersome. Sometimes it chafes and caused redness behind the ears and across the cheeks. Little foam tubes can help with that; I got them through our oxygen supplier.