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I take care of my Mother who is 96. She's in fairly good health physically. She can walk, dress , potty (mostly) . But she requires oxygen 24/7 and takes it off alot. ALOTTTTTT. Last night I ran in there for the second time and it was on the floor and her O2 sat was in the 60s . Thats the lowest I've ever seen it. At least it goes up fast. The thing is I am soo burned out. It is a constant battle to not let my standards fall and I know they already have to some extend. I'm tired (part physically, mental , part depression). I took care of her thru stage one cancer ( my sister took her the week right after treatment thank god) and shingles. But this feels the worse it's ever been ...and I have help 3 days a week for approx 6 hours each. I'm tired , tired , tired and I worry that I'm not as focused as I should be or to b*tchy .. ok i worry worry worry. Anyone else? Is this the secret "caregiver" reality?

My mother inlaw would take her oxygen off while she was on hospice.
Her daughter would move it back into place which would annoy MIL. Finally MIL said in exasperation. “If I die, I die.” Which she did a couple of days later.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Im pretty sure its unconscious. At first, it was partly because she just didnt like it . Didnt like that others could see it and it would make her dependent and look old. But it didnt matter that much in the begining because her o2 wouldnt drop so drastically the first couple years.. She was also much more mentally with it . Now her o2 plunges and its just her taking it off to wipe her nose or whatever and not remembering. Ive done everything :begging , signage, paper tape .. lol I even threatened to staple it to her face. which i wouldnt of course . I started out not wanting to scare her .. cogoling, begging, then pouting, demanding ,, leavin in a huff .. telling her she would die w/ o it . which she will ... nothing really helps its beyond her . Her left arm hurts when it over taxes her heart with 2 bad valves adn at least then she calls for me . Not that she even thinks to look for her o2 then after more hten 9 years .. shrugs what can you do but eat chocolate , drink asti and slowly go mad
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Reply to baskethill1
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Does she do this deliberately, or unconsciously, do you know? If deliberate, how does she explain it?

Does she have any cognitive impairment that might prevent her from understanding why she needs this supplemental oxygen, and the consequences of not using it?
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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I'm so sorry about this, Baskethill1. If your mom is 96, I would assume you are a senior as well. It sounds not so much that you've encountered secret caregiver reality but that you've simply reached the breaking point of providing 24/7 care for someone who apparently may be healthy enough to live on for years, to be totally frank.

Is there any other way for your mother to be cared for? It doesn't sound like you have a lot of years left in you at the rate you've been going.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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First, do you know why she removes the cannula? I know it's irritating and cumbersome. Sometimes it chafes and caused redness behind the ears and across the cheeks. Little foam tubes can help with that; I got them through our oxygen supplier.
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Reply to GardenArtist
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