Does anyone feel angry at times about caregiving and that it ages you?

Reread your post. Praying for you Lolaloud. Nourish your soul Sweetheart. A mini vacation, a relaxing dinner, a new man (or even an old one) are all wonderful things but only temporary fixes. Feeding your soul is the best way to really step out of that angry tail spin we get in.
You tube has tens of thousands of sermons, self help videos, all of our happy songs are on there, books, movies etc. all for free- make a pair of ear buds one of your favorite things.
Psychologically I think it even helps us In blocking out the bad and feeding ourselves only the good. Streamlined right in to our ears and mind.

Tanya, I know exactly how you feel..I have a 101 year old dad who believe it or not lives alone (but we live in the same apartment building)..He also refused for any outside help and insisted on going out with his walker..When i tell him he needed help that i can't do it all day, he said he doesn't need me or any help...yet he calls me 15 times a day for this or that. I am always running down to do something for him...Yes I feel guilty too for feeling resentment . I am recently retired and wanted to travel with my husband instead i am caring for my dad. My stomach is shot too..always in knots..Well i finally convince him to get a cleaning lady once a week (really she was an aide) but once he got used to her cleaning i Incorporated her coming 3 days a week and now 5 days a week..Yes it is costly but it is saving my sanity. Its only 4 hours a day but its something of a break. I also just got him internet and i am setting up cameras so i can see him when i am not home...He cannot hear well so if i call and he don't answer I panic..at least with the cameras I can see if he is just sitting there or god for bid fallen.. Everyone tells me how lucky I am to have my dad for 101 years but i find it both a blessing and a curse...and then i feel guilty for thinking that...I find this site helpful at least we can vent and know we are not alone...I just became a grandmother for the first time and would love to spend more time with my granddaughter but no can do...and i resent that too...you are not alone in feeling the way you do....good luck and take care of yourself first!

Well - yes to your initial question about feeling angry and also aging fast. Probably one of the best things I've done - and this is recent and will most likely need a redo over time - is given up the guilt about anything and everything I need to do to get a break. My brother died in 2016 leaving me as the only child here to do this thing with both of my parents - Mom has Parkinson's, Dad has Alzheimer's. I ended up placing Dad for two reasons - first it was unsafe to keep him home and second - he was easily contented in the nursing home. If I placed Mom - she would definitely come back to haunt me - assuming she goes first - so she moved in with me. Anyway - since reading on several of these forums I'm starting to think (as much as I miss my brother) - sometimes being an only isn't as bad as I thought due to sibling conflict over care. I worked in hospice for a while and it seems more prevalent than not in families. My work stresses me out - yet has been a gift from God and helps sooth my soul. Work IS taking a break for me. If there is any way you can do it and pay someone to do the care for a bit to relieve you - even if you have to knock Mom over the head and/or drug her - I would do it! Of course, finding a job around likable people helps. I'd probably tell her that her choice is nursing home or in-home help - at least a bit - and stick to it. Seriously - a couple of weeks in a nursing home may soften her stance. Of course if she still has her wits about her - you cannot place her against her will. If she doesn't have her wits - it will take the proper legal steps. Also, a lot of people don't realize that Adult Protective Services (in most places) can be a huge help and you can make a APS report on an elderly person who cannot take care of themself when alone - and seems she will be alone if you find something you need to do to save your sanity. They are generally able to help bypass waiting lists for aging services such as companion care and help with resources. Sometimes - it helps to have a social worker come in and be the "bad guy" who lets Mom know that she will have to get some services in place if she wants to stay at home. That said - it did not work for me - Lol. (I can laugh now - back then it wasn't at all funny.) I reported when my parents lived alone out of state. I have however seen it work for several families in my area. This is definitely a rocky journey - my Mom is now on hospice care and I now can truly say that finally - she is less stressful than my teenager. Try to rack up as many coping mechanisms as you can that are positive and beneficial - and minimize the ones that are harmful. Easier said than done - but worth the ongoing effort.

When my caregiver duties end, I will work full time, take vacations, make new friends, get this house straightened out ...donate, sell or toss out! I will not be at a loss of things to do. Hopefully, G-d willing, my health will be good.
Hugs 🤗

TanyaE: You're very welcome.

Yes and yes...I feel like I have age 8 yrs in the past 3 yrs. Like most here I gave up on feeling guilty because I didn't cause my mother to be the way she is; her parents did and I did nothing wrong except being born. I am still angry but I am working that out as well. I refuse to let my mother control me in life and in her death.

Certainly, there were time I was angry about the burden of care and I was a distance care giver. Mother passed just over a year ago aged 106 and I am now working on building my health back up again. at age 82.

Are you looking ahead at finding a placement for your mum? It seems you are pretty stretched and things are only going to get worse as her diseases progress. If she isn't able to fund her care there is medicaid. Meanwhile have you checked with the local agency for aging to see if you can get some help weekly for her so you have some hours to yourself? If she ends up in hospital again please take some time out for yourself. The staff there will care for your mother. You don't have to be there all the time. You count too!!! ((((((hugs))))))

Some Attorneys come to the house if she’s unable to go there. As far as work, try to get a break & go to library as they classes & workshops to help you get back to work. Also, AARP can help. Good luck! Hugs 🤗

I have been chief caregiver to my Mom, age 92 and in AL? She has been developing dementia and becoming difficult to deal with. had a panic attack last week that had me thinking I was having a heart attack!

I was driving by the hospital so I went to the emergency room. They were so nice and helpful. After 4 hours of tests and just resting I was sent home with instructions to follow up with my dr.

A bit embarrassing but a sort of wake up call to slow down and take care of myself. Especially after the dr kept telling me that my age, 65, does put me in the age bracket for a heart attack.