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My husband and I moved in with my mom 2 1/2 years ago, she is 92. We also have a 17 year old daughter and I have muscular dystrophy (neuromuscular disease-no treatment or cure). It’s very difficult. My husband works full time and does most of the physical work. My mother has dementia and outbursts are becoming more frequent. I have a lot of anger and resentment towards my mom and it would be impossible to get her to understand my feelings. She’s very controlling and says horrible hurtful things. My brother lives 3000 miles away and we see him once a year. I feel so guilty but I cannot talk to her without feeling upset and the situation just deteriorates. Any insight is appreciated.

MWD, no doubt the anger is normal. Years ago my then-husband was dx with leukemia. First I was shocked, then afraid, then sad for him. But I was shocked and amazed to discover that I was also mad as hell at him! And at God, too! How dare he not be the strong, capable, dependable husband he'd always been and that I needed him to be? I resented the heck out of it even as I knew it wasn't his fault and he couldn't help it. This is your mom. How can she turn into this stranger right before your eyes? I think anger is probably normal and natural under the circustances. Don't beat yourself up over it. Be good to yourself. This is a tough road and I wish you well. Hugs to you.
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Reply to DesertGrl53
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Come back with an update.
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Like I said, hard to reason with them. But some members have been able to set some boundries. When she gets started, remind her you are an adult and as such you need the same respect you give her. You can't argue with them. They get something stuck in their mind and they won't let it go. When she gets started, tell her your aren't going to take it and walk away.

Hope the Nurse is a help. Just realize, there is something called "showtiming" where they can act normal. Make a list for the Nurse. It will help her evaluate Mom.
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Angry, not so much but I didn't like having the responsibility. I had always been the one my parents relied on. So its not like I hadn't done for them for years.

Your Mom has Dementia. You can no longer reason with her. It takes her longer to process and comprehend. They get self centered. You are also living in "her" house. They act like small children wanting their way. They can't understand why it can't be their way.

Have you made changes to her home other than moving your stuff in. People with Dementia do not deal well with change.

You need to tell her dr that there have been changes. He maybe able to give her something.
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momwifedaughter Feb 19, 2019
Thank you for your reply. There is a psychiatric nurse coming next week to evaluate her. Her GP is a good guy but I think she’s more than he is trained to handle. She is used to being in control and it must be difficult to lose that control. Intellectually I understand all of it. Regardless of that when she starts in on me I feel like a child again. I’m 57 years old, have a wonderful 30 year marriage and two beautiful daughters. She can’t see me as an adult and I don’t think she respects me. It’s very frustrating and I’m wracked with guilt, anger, sadness, frustration....
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