Does anyone dream regularly about their dead parents?

I think these dreams are a true blessing. As them coming to visit to be sure you're ok. I yearn for those dreams. Not a judgment - just providing another perspective. Blessings to you.

I also think LisaSF is right.
They are here to visit.
Since they no longer "need" the house I am sure neither your mom or dad would be critical of anything you have done. I am sure that she is pleased that you are in the house and not "strangers"

I've had dreams about my mom. It will be seven years May 9th since she passed.
When I had my first dream it was right after she had died. In the dream my mom and a bunch of other people were at an amusement park having a great time. I was watching them when suddenly there was a figure of a person in the shadows who went over to my mom and said "go talk to her" So I went and sat down and my mom joined me. I was crying really hard and said "I miss you so much" My mom just held me and never said anything. I felt when I woke up that in the dream my mom had crossed over and was happy and that I needed to accept her death and move on. I'm no dream interpreter but that's what I got out of it.

Since then my mom is sometimes a background figure in my dreams. There but not really directly involved in anything.

I feel comforted by my dreams. I think we project our own feelings into our dreams. If they aren't pleasant for you maybe you need to come to terms with something in your life that you are not addressing. Or I could be totally wrong. Just my opinion.

An interesting topic. I'm glad you brought it up.

You are safe now.

I had a dream about my dad for a while after he died.

In the dream, I was walking in a beautiful park, and I saw my dad, dressed in his “dress up” suit, walking around as he had been the day he died.

I waved and called to him, but he didn’t respond, or talk to me, but he seemed to see me.

The dream brought me comfort. I haven’t been dreaming much lately but I’d kind of enjoy having it again.

It's not PTSD. They are remnants of wishful thinking. Eventually they will fade away. PTSD only occur when one's life has been seriously threatened and you were in a helpless situation. Witnessing somebody dying will not cause PTSD, unless you were having the same possibility of dying too. Like being a medic in the Army during a fierce battle.

If you truly think that these are PTSD dreams you should talk to someone about them.
PTSD can effect you in many ways that you do not even realize. Your nightmares may be just the tip of the iceberg.
ANY trauma can manifest itself as PTSD and should be dealt with. 3-4 years is far to long.
It may not take much time at all talking to someone about this. But it is worth checking out.
((hugs)) I hope you do find peace

Bologna that PTSD is only for anyone's opinion on what is "real" trauma. My spouse has PTSD from combat and I have it from a hellish childhood. They're pretty similar in how they manifest and they both matter. I also submit (for nobody's approval) that I have some very real trauma from discovering the extreme hoarding including live and dead rats we found filling my dad's house after he died. Nobody knew it had gotten like that until he went to the hospital not feeling well and died within days. And I had dreams about that house constantly for years. I'm working through it, thankfully pretty often in my dreams dad would show up and be not dead after all, but he never minded we had to have a removal company come in haz mat suits and literally shovel it out.

These dreams are your brain working stuff out, like all dreams are. The nightmares will fade. Good luck and best wishes.

Thanks to everyone who replied, it helped me understand where these dreams are coming from. To try to explain my mom and our relationship from the time I was a sentient human being until the day she died would take weeks and a lot more than the 2600 characters that I have left! If anyone is interested, check out a few of my previous replies and you'll get the idea.

The bottom line is that she and my dad belonged in assisted living at the very least during those last six years and they probably should have been in a nursing home. After he died, her mobility declined to the point where she was bedridden. It was a nightmare, there are no other words to describe it. By the time she died I felt nothing but sheer relief and never shed a tear. The dreams are not comforting because I don't miss her. I realized these dreams are similar to the dreams I had when I finally left my husband and was free of him. I would dream he would beg me to come back, or assume I was coming back, and it was awful. It's the feeling of experiencing glorious freedom only to fear its being taken away.

I agree with Slartibart - this is my brain working out the rest of the stuff. BTW, both of my children are fully aware that I will NEVER put them through what my folks put me through. I've made my wishes abundantly clear - if I can't shower and toilet myself, it is time to find me a bed somewhere.

My dreams of family are almost always pleasant. I often tell myself the dream and work out what my allegorical mind is telling me in the tale. For instance, in your Mom's case I might guess "You took over my life. I lost control of my own life" coming. You redid her "life" essentially. Dreams are full of symbols. Your telling her to go away is essentially telling her in no uncertain terms you did what you thought best the best you could and that's just going to have to be enough.
I love dreams. I believe they help us work out our concerns in the waking world. My brother has been gone for 2 years only, and my parents a good deal longer, so my dreams of my parents are almost always benign. In dreams of my brother we aqree often doing what we did in real life, out there antiquing together, going to other towns, other places, exploring.

I used to dream that I spotted my father (long dead) in a crowd and was struggling through shoulders and elbows, desperate to catch up with him.

My mother is now in care, but I’m still certain I hear her calling my name in the night. I’m still jumpy from caregiving while she was in her most combative stage.

I was widowed young, remarried and now live where nights are very dark. For more than a decade I frequently snapped awake, unsure of who was sleeping next to me, husband #1 or #2. So disorienting and unsettling.

I also dream that #1 returns and my husbands expected me to choose. #1 is upset that I moved on instead waiting to see if he’d come back. Fortunately they were friends so I convinced myself we could live together and they usually agree to give it a try. But I stay sleeping with #2 because #1 always smells “off” in my dreams.

Yeah, it’s pretty crowded and creepy in my head.

When my father appears in my dreams, I am grateful and relieved that he is still "alive" and a part of my life. We are usually travelling or solving problems together. My mother appears less often, but when she does she is a natural part of whatever "story" my dream is weaving. When my husband died, he would be in my dreams but out of sight, for instance, if we were at a campground and I was outside hanging clothes, he was "there" but inside the camper where I could not see him or we might be on a road trip and he has "driven on ahead." I interpret my husband-dreams as metaphors for " travelling" through life and his having "gone on ahead" of me by dying first.

My mom passed three and a half years ago and I dream regularly about her. In fact I dreamed about her this morning and it was a good dream. I’m always surprised when I wake up. It takes me several seconds before I realize she’s gone. I also dream about my dad sometimes and he passed in 1994. Never a bad dream.
I DO have bad dreams. Just not about them. I used to have bad dreams about my college classes. I haven’t done my homework and the semester is almost over and there’s going to be a test. I graduated in 1988.The dreams stopped a couple of years ago. The bad dreams I have now are that I’m still teaching school and the children won’t behave. I stopped teaching elementary school 13 years ago. Or, it’s the first day of school and I wasn’t given any time to plan my lessons or set up my room. And, then, there are the “hiding from bad people dreams.”

Dreaming of your mother's being upset that you had emptied her closet and re-done her house suggests you might have felt guilty or "disloyal" by doing that. But you are the person who remains physically present in the house, so it makes sense to arrange it for your own comfort and convenience. Maybe you worry that your mother would think you did not love her or want to remember her. Reassure her that you love her and thank her for teaching you how to manage a household.

When my almost 90 yr old dad died(he developed sepsis and heart infection from mrsa while in rehab ) and i made the decision to choose hospice vs putting in feeding tube, picc line for 8 weeks of iv antibiotics and have him bedridden in rehab for another 2 months, i had terrible nightmares. They started the day of his wake - i took a nap before going to wake with mom and my brother and dreamt that he was throwing knives at me and trying to stab me for killing him. I had a few other dreams like this and then others where he was sick and i was holding him(i spent 2 months daily in rehab with him before he got the infection. I have PTSD and all the therapy in the world hasnt helped - also 4 yrs now...coincidentally caring 24/7 for my 91 yr old mom now for almost 4 yrs...i thought i would have no regrets - caring for both parents for so many years and yet the hospice decision guilt for dad wipes that all away - its life altering.

I definitely think you can get PTSD after taking care of someone who is Ill . With My Mom I had the worst 2 weeks of my life after she was released from a rehab . The VNA Nurse didn't show up till a couple weeks later and we called 911 . She died a few months later . My brother fell just as I got her to a nursing home and he had stage 4 cancer so after she died I brought my brother to live with me and after several months I was burnt out and he was admitted to ICU - stage 4 cancer and he had to go to a rehab. it was a relief . The hardest Part was my Mom was brain dead and kept alive by machines and we turned off the machines . My brother was hospice and deciding on the morphine . I got very sick for 2 months afterwards . terribly Ill . I dreamt of my friend Peter that winter and he died May 2018 and another friend Miles I dreamt of him in January 2018 and he Passed February 2018 . I hadn't seen these people in Years . I had to take care of properties and My Dad and I only had a break June 2019 - June 2020 . I had to deal with a tenant who committed suicide in 2019 . Oh yes you can get PTSD from caretaking - I have seen it . One Hospice Nurse had a bad nervous breakdown . My friend was worn out from taking care of his Housemate for 3 years who had bad dementia . I find I go to bed earlier and tire easily . If your dealing with odd behavior the body doesn't always Know how to process this information . If you are making Life and death decisions That wears on the Body and brain . Burn out is real . Maybe you should find a grief counselor - even if you go once for 3 - 4 Hours and they can help you process the pain . I know after another brother died I wanted to sleep and finally I went to a grief counselor and we talked for 3 and a half Hours before Mothers day . She said to me " You didn't lose a bother you Lost a son . " Which really made sense to me . I believe in a afterlife and reincarnation . My Mom Pops up occasionally in My dreams and its like she is still alive . She said in one dream " what happened to my apartment ? " So yes It takes time to heal the trauma and your Body it can take even a few years to recover if you were running on adrenaline . There is a strong component with your Kidneys and adrenaline and panic attacks and PTSD .

I dream a lot about my dad who died two years ago from stage 4 gastric cancer. Although he lived with my mom, I took him to all his appointments for the last two years of his life. I was much closer to him than to my mom, although my relationship with him was no less traumatic.
In dreams, we’re just hanging out and doing things we might have done in life. I know he’s dead in the dream, but sometimes he says he’s allowed back for some reason. I miss him a lot and do need his guidance on dealing with my mom who has MCI. He was the only one who she’d listen to, and it’s difficult dealing with her, especially now that she’s been living with me for the past four months.
I just think we dream about our dead parents because of unresolved issues whether stemming from love or hate. We need to work things out for ourselves now that they’re gone and there’s no more accounting. I don’t think it matters whether they appear in nightmares or pleasant dreams, it’s the crap they left us with and now it’s up to us. I firmly do not believe, as a relative once indicated, that they’re trying to contact us ‘from beyond the grave’. Dreams are all about us and not about them. Once you stop feeling guilt, anger, grief, whatever it may be, they’ll just go away. It’s just our own brains projecting what they might think, say, do, if they could come back and interact with us. I found that writing down the dreams helps to diffuse the situation, and their appearance changes as we deal with our issues with them. Obviously, I’m in therapy too and that helps ;-D.

Both of my parents have been dead for a number of years, and I was not tasked with caring for them because I was the one who moved away, and my siblings did it. However, I now have been taking care of my husband for sixteen years. In my dreams I am rarely more than 23 years old, my home is the home I grew up in, and my parents are present and are middle aged, and are lovely to be with. I feel my dreams help me be so thankful for my wonderful childhood that I accept the not-so-wonderful years that came when I was an adult, and especially the last sixteen years. I talk to my friends whose lives seem much better than mine now, and they will tell of hard childhoods and difficult parents. I tell myself it all evens out in the end.

No I do not dream of my dear wife that passed away after 62 years of marriage
we moved in an assisted living place. wife also had dementia, after two years they moved her in Memory care, there I ate the three meals with her every day , took her for a car ride almost every day even on the lock down, could go for a ride as long as I did not stop or even open a door or roll down a window,
She is gone about one year ago, and some time at night in bed I am afraid to move too much on her side afraid I may push her off the bed, But she's not there.

My Dad passed unexpectedly when I was 26 yrs old. He and I we're very close. That was 44 years ago. We didn't get to say our good byes. It was horrible grief. Many years later I had a dream where I saw my dad in a place i was familiar with but a place we had never been together. He looked at me, never acknowledging my presence. I was crushed and it bothered me for years. Then i had another dream years later. Funny that I was in the exact place as the first dream but this time, Daddy looked at me and smiled. I was euphoric! I've never dreamed of him again.
I had an abusive husband for 40+ yrs. He finally passed from a rare disease. I kept having dreams of him screaming and yelling at me. I finallyI realized that I had forgotten one of many many places he wanted his ashes scattered. Once i placed his remaining ashes at the site, all dreams of him stopped.
My job was finally done for this man. I served my time,

Yes! Both of my parents have been gone for nearly 25 years but I still see them in my dreams off and on. These are pleasant dreams that often take place in the home I grew up in. We moved from that home when I was 18, I am now 67.
I do not find these dreams disturbing at all in fact they usually amuse me. My brother says he dreams of that house too, so I do not think it's anything to worry about.

My father passed away of lung cancer chemo treatments in 2004 and I remember one dream in particular. In the dream, he was sitting on one of those tables in a doctor's office and had been given a clean bill of health. I was trying to get in touch with my family to tell them the good news and was ecstatic that daddy was going to be okay.

Of course upon waking I remembered that he was gone. That dream stuck with me for some reason, but if I still have dreams about daddy, I don't remember them.

My twin brother died in 2019 and I have not dreamed about him at all that I am aware.

In 2016, we cared for my dad at home during the short time it took him to pass away from colon cancer. Initially, I would just have really bad memories of the moment of his death come to my (waking) mind. Then he appeared briefly in one dream, and he has been present in at least one bad dream. My mother is still living, but just recently I dreamed about both her and my father---and they were throwing a big party!

If you were a caregiver for your folks, and have also been present at the death of your parent, of course you have PTSD and that may lead to bad dreams. Bad thoughts, bad dreams---I think they are all part of the shock of that experience.

Perhaps your dreams will transition to happy dreams (a party?), but if they don't, I think they will fade over time. Be kind to yourself, and also to your unconscious mind while you transition through this process.

Probably for some tomorrow.

My mom was a lovely woman until Alzheimer's hit. She passed away 10 years ago. Most of my dreams about her revolve around her aggravating me, which she did when she had Alzheimer's, and Hubby and I took care of her for 5 yrs. During this Alzheimer's time, she'd sometimes insist on wearing shoes of a different color, she'd want to walk left when I wanted her to walk right, etc. She does these things in my dreams, which are amusing and aggravating at the same time. Every now and then, she comes back with a nice and loving demeanor, as my dad does. I think Shakespeare said, "To sleep, per chance to dream." I guess I'd tweak it to say, "to have nice dreams."

Texangal81: Although I could have had a nightmare about the day on Good Friday, March 24, 1967, which was the night my late father left his house via ambulance with a massive coronary and never returned, I never did. I lived with and took care of my late mother from out of state when she passed away on January 24, 2014 from an ischemic stroke. Prayers sent, dear Texangal.

My father passed away in 1999 and for an entire year after my father passed away I saw him very often in my dreams. In those dreams, I saw my mother, who was still alive at that time, and my father but he was always in the background. About a year later my mother passed away. A few days before my mother died, I had a dream that I visited my parents’ house and as I walked into the kitchen they were both busy cleaning up their kitchen. Little did I know at the time that my father came back to help prepare my mother for her death. After my mother passed, I did not have anymore dreams about my father or my mother. I came to the realization that he was always present in my dreams because he was waiting for my mother to die so she could join him on the other side.

usually i have dreams that my parents are around but they never talk. some dreams are ok and others weird - your parents will always be in your memories, always in your heart and many many times in your dreams. try to think good thoughts so you go to sleep with good things happening in the dream. we can't control these sometimes. just enjoy seeing them again.

Texangal....
Ya, I've had dreams about both of my parents after losing them.
The dreams are always happy dreams, just reliving doing things together, always my mother and I laughing hard about something.
I miss them both so terribly, and a family dog, too....Stag. I get real sad sometimes. They were the ones I was closest too, all my life. So, I face my future pretty much alone.....the Lord Jesus Christ has become Numero Uno now, and that's not a bad thing. I love to dance and worship my King!
But, yes....I've had many happy dreams of my dear, wonderful parents. I document most of these dreams look at later. It helps me somehow.
May the peace of God be with your spirit. 💜🕊💜

In dream work that I did for many years we learned that everyone in our dreams are part of ourselves. The mom part of you is walking again? Soon after my dad died I had a recurring dream that my dad wasn't dead, rather hanging out in an underground bar with a bunch of other old men, kind of like Robin Hood types. They stole from the rich and gave to poor children. When I told my mom about the dream she got really mad about him being in a bar. She would have never allowed such behavior, but she liked the idea of giving to poor children. In the same dream my mom had a knitting shop upstairs from the bar. She liked that part too and I still like the entire dream. Now that Mom is gone, I dream about her a lot. She's part of me. My sister has always been in my dreams.