Can the doctor give the order to stop feeding my mom even if she's eating on her own?

If this withholding is a matter of "convenience" for the staff, that would be inhuman. If your mother is able to feed herself, WHAT makes them think she is in her last days? Keeping her raised so she doesn't choke, even on liquid nourishment drinks, etc, should minimize the chance of aspiration, I think.

Yes, talk with the doctor for answers, but don't be afraid to challenge him & his assumptions, etc.

Please let us know what happens. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

The doctor must STATE the patient is dying in order for anything to be done, or not done. Are you mom's healthcare surrogate &/or Healthcare POA? The doctor can't ORDER anyone to stop feediing her. She EATS on her own????Then NO, ONLY you can agree to that or if mom CAN respond then she can.

Please sit down with the doctor and ask him to fully explain this process to you and why he made this decision. There are many nuances to the dying process and what happens to the human body of which we are completely unaware - and lovingly caring for a dying body is different than caring for an ill, yet recovering one.

I learned that the body, when dying, doesnt really need food. However, patients may ask to eat, thinking they are feeling hungry when possibly feeling discomfort in the abdominal area. Depending on the condition of Mom's body, feeding her, even small amounts, will prolong the time until the inevitable end of life. Also, the body does not process food well which raises the opportunity for constipation, possible impaction and the very unpleasant possibility of the nurses having to assist your Mom to have a bowel movement.

This is all so very foreign and difficult, I know. That is why I urge a full conversation with the doctor on exactly what he sees and what he is thinking. Also, if you have hospice nurses, they are wonderful at taking all the time you need to answer any question you have, however many times you need to ask it for reassurance that you are doing right by your Mother.

If, after you have all the information you can gather, you still choose to give Mom small amounts of food when she asks, I would feed her: again being sure there is no problem swallowing, which could lead to aspiration or medical complication of which you are not presently aware.

As for the "legality" of stopping food, only an attorney can answer for sure, but I would strongly believe the doctor is not going to order anything for which he would be criminally liable. His order may actually be an act of kindness if your Mother is truly near the end of her life. Having witnessed a prolonged, slow dying process with my own Mother, it was agonizing to watch her literally whither away until her body was simply unable to sustain life.

It is a devastatingly hard process for both the dying and the one who loves and watches. Good luck to you both. You have my very best wishes.

hello,
If this was my mom, I would like logical reasons as to why they would stop feeding her when she is eating on her own. It took the NH many different ways to get her to eat. Mom lost 25 pounds when she was not eating. ( 125 down to 99.) It just the psychological set back she was having.
Although, when you know you are dying your body is shutting down eventually and hunger is not on your mind. But until then it's cruel to not bring them food if they can eat on there own.
Equinox

The law depends on your state, but I would strongly feel that he does not have that right as long as she is willing to take food orally. Usually when a person is in the final stages of life the body begins to shut down and the need for food disappears. Hence their appetite disappears. Your mom is still taking and eating food. She is not being force fed or tube fed. I would say then that her body is not readying itself for death. My opinion. But legally I think you can only withhold tube feeding...and then only if she has that in her living will, or the family requests it. Hospitals usually have a patient advocate. Does the hospice? You could contact the local hospital and ask what the law is as well. You or any family or friend in the mean time could go feed her until the issue is resolved so she doesn't starve in the meantime.

I presume you know whether your mother has a directive in place as to no extreme measures such as feeding tubes etc.? and it maybe that her digestive system is shutting down and can no longer process the food she is being fed? I think this has less to do with legal issues and more to do with good communication with her doctor. I'd request a full description of her current condition and explanation of why this order has been issued.

i have no legal wisdom on this. the way our world is going, it may very well be legal with less and less importance being placed on the lives of the very old and the very young. however, legal or not, it sounds cruel. if your mom is still able to eat, and is interested in eating, she should be fed. that is my humane answer. i don't think laws or rules and regulations can be administered across the board. i think case by case is the best. God Bless you and your mom!