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It's important for you to research ways for your mother to go where she wants to go, whether that's senior transportation, a cab or a bus. She needs her independence. You or another family member should also try to offer transportation. Maybe, if several of you are available, you can split it up.

One of the reasons that elders resist giving up the keys is that the very idea of not driving is so limiting. Help your mother find alternative transportation so that she's not isolated.

Then, contact your department of motor vehicles (DMV) and tell them what the doctor said. Ask them if they can demand a driving test for her. She may decide then not to bother with the test or she may take it and fail. Either way, it's likely her license won't be renewed.

Giving up driving is very hard on aging adults. It’s emotional and somewhat humiliating. Don’t expect this to be easy, but try to make it as smooth as possible.

Good luck,
Carol
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Thank you this is going to be hard I take her every where she needs to go. she is living with me.
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Yes, it will be. Have you checked with your local senior commission or your Area Agency on Aging? They may be able to give you some ideas for a little relief.
Take care,
Carol
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This a hard one since it means another slice of independence is taken away. After a few fender benders, my siblings and I decided to have his doctor broach the subject. He then, was the "bad guy." But he explained the situation in such a manner that dad accepted it, especially asking him how he would feel if someone was injured or even killed. What would happen if dad got hurt? Lastly, the financial implications of a lawsuit by the party he injured or the family of the deceased? That's what made him realize he had to turn over the keys. Having the doctor tell your mom will take the burden of guilt off of you, and she may be more accepting. Best of luck!
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When my mother-in-law was told by her doctor that he didn't think it was a good idea that she drive anymore because of macular degeneration, she told me "he tore up my drivers license RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE!" Of course when I pressed for more info, she finally admitted that he hadn't exactly TORE up the license, but to her it was the same thing. So I'd blame it on the doctor all the way, tell her how sorry you are and if there was anything you could do to change that stinkin' doctor's mind, you would. But since you can't, you're just going to have to succumb to dr's wishes and take the keys. Lament with her, because I know it was awful for my mother-in-law to stop driving after she and my father-in-law went every year in their motor home across the U.S. with her driving 85% of the time. It's a terrible loss, gotta tell ya.
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We would hide the keys. Often, YOU have to make the decision for them because they don't realize the danger that they pose to others on the road. After many arguments, we took the keys and sold the car. We have never beenf forgiven by my dad but that's ok. I keep thinking that we saved a life with this decision.
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Thats good but she sleeps with her keys on her.
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We quietly removed the car to another location, and later collected the other keys when she was not looking. She was mad as a hornet, but we did not give in. Took another 4 months to get her to sign the title.
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Sometimes people take the battery out of the car or something like that... Then when you go to the car with her, and it won't start, that buys time. Also, every day can bring a new opportunity to say, well, the Dr said so anyway. Maybe this is God's way of keeping "us" safe... and so on.
"Why not just go with me, until your car gets fixed." and all that stuff. But yeah, Usually they Listen to the Dr, not to their kids. With us, they're used to being the boss, telling Us what to do. It's hard for them that the tables are turned.
Hang in there, it's harder for men, I believe than for women, to give up the keys
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I just started driving her on her usual expeditions. She never questioned it. She was 84 and told me twice that I could go left on red....so that was the end of her driving. I took her to the library twice a week where she volunteered for the next 2 years. I bought her groceries. She's 90 now...I'm still driving her, but mostly she stays home and I bring her whatever she needs. Funny thing, I took her to the DMV to get an ID card and they wanted her birth certificate, and other documentation...so I got online and renewed her license. I just put it in my purse in case I needed it. It is expired now, and we just leave it at that!
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My Dad stopped driving after he twice ran the car into the curb damaging the tires due to his failing eyesight.

Any time he starts talking about wanting to drive again, I do what 58yroldchild had said above, asked Dad what would happen if he was in a car accident where someone was seriously injured... and they sued him for all his net worth. The fear of losing his home/pension was enough to keep him out from behind the driver's seat.

I really wish my parents could drive because now I am their only driver, and I have to take time off from work and driving them to all their doctor appointments, driving them to the grocery store weekly, to hair cuts and barbers, to the hardware store, to other stores, to the CPA, the list goes on and on.

It's become exhausting for me as I am also a senior citizen, and I find the older I get the more I'm becoming uncomfortable driving. Thus, I'm a nervous wreck by the time I get my parents to where they want to be, and have told my Dad that. But Dad still thinks I am that 16 year old girl who was all excited about learning how to drive... [sigh].
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Thanks to all mom is not driving no longer.
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I just said " mom, I know it sucks and I am sorry but the dr says no more driving. If you go against dr's orders and get in to an accident- the dr's report will reflect you willing went against orders and you will be liable personally for injuries. Insurance companies can deny claims for willful neglect- to neglect Dr orders". She quit driving. Play up quality time you will spend when you must drive her. Agree its not fair. Empathy goes a long way with elders. Being adults and suddenly facing becoming like a child is hard.
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debcajan, how is your Mother getting around to appointments, etc.? Just curious what type of transportation is she comfortable with.

I need to find new transportation for my parents because I am now to a point where I hate to drive anywhere. The stress of driving them has taken away my love for driving ;(
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