Do you ever lose your patience?

Mapotter, I never had raised my voice to my parents until they got into their 90's, as this was the time frame where my Mom got very stubborn.

I remember when Dad had a heart attack and there were different things that needed to be change in their house, like moving furniture, to make it easier for Dad to get around, but Mom didn't like how the room presented itself...[rolling eyes].... it finally got to a point where I yelled "It's not all about you, Mom".

This was back when my parent first started to need my help and continued on for 7 years. Then there was the time when my Dad said he was going to start driving again, all because I wasn't able to drive them somewhere. That was a major hot button with me, and I would fire off big time. It was long after my parents had passed that I realized it wasn't Dad who needed to go somewhere, it was Mom being stubborn again. Poor Dad, I bet Mom was pressuring him to drive again... [sigh].

With me losing my patience early in the journey, that told me I wasn't made to be a hands-on type caregiver... give me logistical and I will be ok. Once my Mom passed, Dad was ok with hiring caregivers to help him, as I was no domestic goddess.

Mapotter, with all you are doing I'd be amazed if you didn't loose your patience from time to time! You're only human. The stress of being responsible for someone can be emotionally and physically exhausting. I hope you have support with her care. HUGS!

Yes I do we are only human ..then I feel,guilty and say some prayers ,,,I do my best to keep it under control

I hope you have help caring for her. That's a lot to do alone. If she has dementia, I would assume that she is not aware of doing odd things that are out of her character. And, I would get help so that you aren't inclined to raise your voice. I think that some people may not be be suited for hands on care, but, caregiving can be done in various ways.

Ohmeowzer summed it up, for me as well.
I lose my patience, feel guilty and then pray.
I do however see my patience getting stronger the more I pray and develop a reliant relationship with Jesus.
This job is hard, but do our best to love and care, and not let take us to a negative place. I will keep you in my prayers, you are not alone in this.

Thank you. I do feel bad when I raise my voice to her. Sometimes it is because she just doesn't respond. I don't know if she is not hearing me or if it is her mental state at the time. It is like dealing with a child sometimes. I would get frustrated with my kids when I told them three times to do something and they didn't do whatever it was. So, I guess that is just my personality... Today, I am sitting in her room as she sleeps. She started with diarrhea this morning. She has aphasia, so most times what she says you cannot understand. But, she did say her stomach hurt. Another word she said clear as day was "cemetery".... So, there is no raising my voice to her today....

Sunnygirl1 I am at Mom's every day from about 9:30 until I feel everything it is okay to leave (usually 4:00 or after). My oldest brother lives with her, but has his own health issues and he cannot do as much as he used to (plus Mom requires more personal care). But, if Mom is having a good day and he feels he can handle it, I go home. I live 25 minutes away, and have had to go back when there is something my brother can't handle. We have paid caregivers coming in now from 8 p.m. - 8 a.m., M-F. (It was too expensive to get someone in 7 days per week.) The hospice aide comes 5 days (or less if I don't need her) for an hour. Usually, when she comes everything is quiet.... except for today.... I spend the night at Mom's on Sunday nights, and my middle brother spends the night on Saturday nights. He also comes over a few days per week for few hours, and when I have something I need to do and can't be there. My Mom's sister is starting to come spend some time sitting with Mom, so that I can take my disabled sister to the grocery store (she has MS). She lives next door to Mom. She, of course, cannot help with Mom. But, yes, there are times when I am tired and lose my patience more during those times....