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Dad has a very sweet tooth and when we kept his cupboards stocked up with biscuits and chocolate then we would find his main meals wrapped up and hidden. We have tried to reach a compromise by taking him a 100g bar of chocolate each day and he is now eating his meals but he is getting angry and agitated because he wants more chocolate than we are taking him. I took him three bars yesterday afternoon to see if he wouldn't obsess so much with more in his cupboard but he just ate all three by this morning and denied ever having them. Part of me thinks let him have what he wants but if that makes him ill or gives him diabetes then a) we would feel so guilty and b) we probably couldn't continue to care for him in his own home. Any advice would be very gratefully received - getting fed up with the confrontations and empty chocolate wrappers being waved in my face instead of a nice welcome :(

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At 88, let him eat all the chocolate he wants. Holding it back from him maybe makes him feel "small" and like a kid again, but not in a good way.

If you're supplying, just don't get 20 lbs, in fact, would he like the higher quality stuff? It really takes the edge of my chocolate cravings--the bars with like 90% cacao are really satisfying.

My 4 y/o grandson wakes me up at 6:00 with a request for "25 chocolate chips" and I negotiate him down to 5, after he'd eaten breakfast. BUT, he's 4. An 88 yo can eat what they wants, IMHO.

My grandma lived to 94. She ate a bag of mini-chocolates every day. Had a great life. died with chocolate on her face!
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What a kind person you are, LMH274, to try to work this out. I hope if I am ever in that situation someone will be patient and thoughtful with me. And I hope they will give me chocolate!

This dear man is 88 years old and has a fatal disease, dementia. In my opinion going for pleasure is probably more important than nutrition. (And he will NOT get diabetes from eating a lot of chocolate.) But it would be great if you can work out a compromise so he also has enough appetite to eat other foods. Small pieces sound promising. High quality chocolate (not necessarily darker) might be worth trying.

I have a chocolate tooth myself, and I try to keep it within bounds. I've switched to higher quality chocolate -- if I'm going to have only a little it better be great! And I buy only bite size chocolate individually wrapped. If I'm out (how did that happen?) I like a good brand of chocolate chips, but I find it is more satisfying to have to unwrap my chocolate.

And I really, really love things like strawberries dipped in chocolate, or frozen chocolate-coated bananas.

You are doing a great job for your dad. Keep up the good work.
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Is this about chocolate, do you think, or is it about his resentment of losing complete freedom to choose what he eats and when?

He's losing that freedom not because anyone wishes to boss him about, but because mental infirmity and physical frailty make it necessary for other people to cater for him and those people have a sense of responsibility. Sad, and a genuine grievance, but not one you can do anything about.

And I wonder... even if you provided a 100% all-you-can-eat chocolate menu, wouldn't he find something else to be grumpy about?

All joking aside, chocolate is a mood enhancer. Bromines or something, isn't it? - where's a dietitian when you want one...

You could try a higher cocoa content chocolate, see if that damps down his appetite. There's a limit to how much 90% Lindt Excellence anyone can get down, as I can testify.
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You could also try chocolate covered nuts or pieces of fruit or chocolate-covered pretzels. My mom lived to almost 98 and loved her sweets until the very end. In fact, I knew the end was coming when she wasn't touching her candy.

I always had cans of really good mixed nuts for mom. She looked at those as a special treat because of their cost. She had always been frugal (raised in the Depression). Nuts gave her good calories and good fat. She had lost weight and I figured any calorie was a good calorie at that point. Maybe you can think of some other non-sweet "treat" foods your dad might like that would feel slightly luxurious or special. Particularly things from his childhood. My dad asked for Necco wafers when he was 90. They are like eating sawdust to me, but I found some for him and he enjoyed them. So those old food connections can be very satisfying for our parents. You are a wonderful daughter and your dad is lucky to have you!
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I like your compromise and it seems to have worked so stick with it, normally I'd say to let him eat whatever he wants but unfortunately that means he isn't eating anything but chocolate. It sounds as though you are rapidly approaching a point where he needs more supervision throughout the day, if he can't remember to eat or what he has already eaten then he will likely be forgetting a lot of other things like taking his meds.
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my dad was the same way- i couldnt keep up. I was getting him cases of chocolate ensure drink and hershey bars
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My mother also loves sweets these days, though she eats other things as well.

As the child of an alcoholic, my first reaction to your post is that you need to stop trying to control what he eats. Can you make him shakes with chocolate in them, but put in healthy stuff as well? Protein powder, even green vegetables.
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I'm wondering if presenting chocolate in a different form: chocolate chips, M&Ms, or Hershey's Kisses, might be helpful. Something where he feels like he is getting "more" chocolate because there are more pieces. Or take the chocolate bars he likes, break them into squares, and wrap them individually.

I have no idea if this would help, just a thought.

Or maybe chocolate Ensure, or a chocolate protein drink for one of his meals, to help address his chocolate craving.
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I agree that, if he doesn't currently have diabetes, I would give him all the chocolate he wants. (Providing it doesn't send him to the bathroom too often... and as long as he will eat a square meal or two a day.) Anyway, God love him for making it to 88 -- he deserves chocolate :)
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Some really good points - will definitely try some darker chocolate and see if he notices - might need to work up to the 90% lol! Love the choc chip bargaining that made me smile :)
Also think the smaller pieces - Maltesers/M&Ms could work well as it certainly looks like you're getting more! Thanks again :)
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