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Dad has a very sweet tooth and when we kept his cupboards stocked up with biscuits and chocolate then we would find his main meals wrapped up and hidden. We have tried to reach a compromise by taking him a 100g bar of chocolate each day and he is now eating his meals but he is getting angry and agitated because he wants more chocolate than we are taking him. I took him three bars yesterday afternoon to see if he wouldn't obsess so much with more in his cupboard but he just ate all three by this morning and denied ever having them. Part of me thinks let him have what he wants but if that makes him ill or gives him diabetes then a) we would feel so guilty and b) we probably couldn't continue to care for him in his own home. Any advice would be very gratefully received - getting fed up with the confrontations and empty chocolate wrappers being waved in my face instead of a nice welcome :(

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I like your compromise and it seems to have worked so stick with it, normally I'd say to let him eat whatever he wants but unfortunately that means he isn't eating anything but chocolate. It sounds as though you are rapidly approaching a point where he needs more supervision throughout the day, if he can't remember to eat or what he has already eaten then he will likely be forgetting a lot of other things like taking his meds.
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Thank you for taking the time to answer and I think you are right in all that you say. His neighbour kindly makes him breakfast then somebody goes in at lunchtime to get his main meal, stay for a couple of hours and make him a sandwich to have for his tea. He has an absolute loathing of doctors so we are very lucky that at 88 this is his only health issue.
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Your profile says that your dad has dementia. I'd consider that as it progresses, his ability to consider what is appropriate to eat will likely diminish and he'll need some support in someone actually serving him his food as opposed to taking it over. 

I know that my LO got into only wanting treats and a couple of other dishes. AND when you see food that is left wrapped up. I found that with my LO, the uneaten food was left because she forgot it was there. She forgot that there was food in the fridge or under foil wrapping and didn't have the mental ability to think of checking inside the fridge. It had to be in a clear plastic wrap, so she could actually see it. No matter how often I told her that her dinner was in the fridge, she couldn't remember and thought she had no food, so ate the snack food that was sitting on the counter. 

 I discovered a lot in trying to manage her care, meals and treats with her living alone and it didn't work out. She became to need AL so she could actually get supervised with her meals and treats. I'm all for the senior having all the treats they want, but, regular food too.  
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my dad was the same way- i couldnt keep up. I was getting him cases of chocolate ensure drink and hershey bars
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LMH274, as we age we tend to lose our sense of taste except for very sweet items. Sometimes we just have to give in if a love one refuses to eat healthier foods.

Keep experimenting with the different food groups where you can add something like honey to chicken to give the coating a nice sweet taste. Add pickle relish to tuna for sandwiches to give it just enough of a bite so Dad might like it.
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Thank you all for the helpful comments it's much appreciated. Dad is still happy to eat a variety of foods and three square meals a day with his rationed chocolate. The problem is he wants more chocolate - if we give him more then he is less hungry for his healthier meals - if we don't give him more then he is very grumpy and then we feel guilty that at his age he should have what gives him pleasure! We have tried healthier options that are just as sweet but to no avail. It's a no win situation!
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At 88, let him eat all the chocolate he wants. Holding it back from him maybe makes him feel "small" and like a kid again, but not in a good way.

If you're supplying, just don't get 20 lbs, in fact, would he like the higher quality stuff? It really takes the edge of my chocolate cravings--the bars with like 90% cacao are really satisfying.

My 4 y/o grandson wakes me up at 6:00 with a request for "25 chocolate chips" and I negotiate him down to 5, after he'd eaten breakfast. BUT, he's 4. An 88 yo can eat what they wants, IMHO.

My grandma lived to 94. She ate a bag of mini-chocolates every day. Had a great life. died with chocolate on her face!
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Is this about chocolate, do you think, or is it about his resentment of losing complete freedom to choose what he eats and when?

He's losing that freedom not because anyone wishes to boss him about, but because mental infirmity and physical frailty make it necessary for other people to cater for him and those people have a sense of responsibility. Sad, and a genuine grievance, but not one you can do anything about.

And I wonder... even if you provided a 100% all-you-can-eat chocolate menu, wouldn't he find something else to be grumpy about?

All joking aside, chocolate is a mood enhancer. Bromines or something, isn't it? - where's a dietitian when you want one...

You could try a higher cocoa content chocolate, see if that damps down his appetite. There's a limit to how much 90% Lindt Excellence anyone can get down, as I can testify.
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My mother also loves sweets these days, though she eats other things as well.

As the child of an alcoholic, my first reaction to your post is that you need to stop trying to control what he eats. Can you make him shakes with chocolate in them, but put in healthy stuff as well? Protein powder, even green vegetables.
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I'm wondering if presenting chocolate in a different form: chocolate chips, M&Ms, or Hershey's Kisses, might be helpful. Something where he feels like he is getting "more" chocolate because there are more pieces. Or take the chocolate bars he likes, break them into squares, and wrap them individually.

I have no idea if this would help, just a thought.

Or maybe chocolate Ensure, or a chocolate protein drink for one of his meals, to help address his chocolate craving.
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Some really good points - will definitely try some darker chocolate and see if he notices - might need to work up to the 90% lol! Love the choc chip bargaining that made me smile :)
Also think the smaller pieces - Maltesers/M&Ms could work well as it certainly looks like you're getting more! Thanks again :)
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What a kind person you are, LMH274, to try to work this out. I hope if I am ever in that situation someone will be patient and thoughtful with me. And I hope they will give me chocolate!

This dear man is 88 years old and has a fatal disease, dementia. In my opinion going for pleasure is probably more important than nutrition. (And he will NOT get diabetes from eating a lot of chocolate.) But it would be great if you can work out a compromise so he also has enough appetite to eat other foods. Small pieces sound promising. High quality chocolate (not necessarily darker) might be worth trying.

I have a chocolate tooth myself, and I try to keep it within bounds. I've switched to higher quality chocolate -- if I'm going to have only a little it better be great! And I buy only bite size chocolate individually wrapped. If I'm out (how did that happen?) I like a good brand of chocolate chips, but I find it is more satisfying to have to unwrap my chocolate.

And I really, really love things like strawberries dipped in chocolate, or frozen chocolate-coated bananas.

You are doing a great job for your dad. Keep up the good work.
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Thank you so much for your kind words - I certainly have some ideas to try now :)
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BTW My current chocolate treat is Godiva Masterpieces, individually wrapped hearts. I've had two so far today. Each was very satisfying.
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He may also like the caffeine hit he gets from the chocolate.

I think your current plan of giving him a bar each day is a good one. Or you could give him a couple smaller ones or leave some locked up and the person who comes in at lunch could give him one for dessert.
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You could also try chocolate covered nuts or pieces of fruit or chocolate-covered pretzels. My mom lived to almost 98 and loved her sweets until the very end. In fact, I knew the end was coming when she wasn't touching her candy.

I always had cans of really good mixed nuts for mom. She looked at those as a special treat because of their cost. She had always been frugal (raised in the Depression). Nuts gave her good calories and good fat. She had lost weight and I figured any calorie was a good calorie at that point. Maybe you can think of some other non-sweet "treat" foods your dad might like that would feel slightly luxurious or special. Particularly things from his childhood. My dad asked for Necco wafers when he was 90. They are like eating sawdust to me, but I found some for him and he enjoyed them. So those old food connections can be very satisfying for our parents. You are a wonderful daughter and your dad is lucky to have you!
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I agree that, if he doesn't currently have diabetes, I would give him all the chocolate he wants. (Providing it doesn't send him to the bathroom too often... and as long as he will eat a square meal or two a day.) Anyway, God love him for making it to 88 -- he deserves chocolate :)
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Let him have his chocolate.
Thank you for loving your Dad so much.
May God bless you and your family.
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Hershey's makes sugar free chocolate for diabetic people in case you're looking for a sugar free alternative.
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Thank you to everyone for taking the time to reply. I have been scouring the chocolate aisle and found some good alternatives that make it look like he’s getting a lot more when he’s actually not - I’m in the uk so can’t get some of your suggestions but it’s put me on the right track :) I have tried sugar free choc myself when trying to go low carb but oh boy does that stuff make you run to the toilet if you eat too much - not sure dad (or I) could handle that lol! After reading your answers I will up his ‘ration’ if the smaller pieces don’t fool him but hopefully not to the point where his healthy meals will suffer. Really do appreciate all your thoughts :)
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Oh well then! - As you're in the UK, Terry's Neapolitans if you can find them - the unwrapping alone should slow him down considerably.

I really wouldn't waste time and money on sugar-free versions of things whose whole point is to have sugar in them. God alone knows what goes into them... If you really need to skip sugar, eat something else!

Does he like halva? That too is very difficult to eat a lot of, try as you might.

Anyway, best of luck - and when you boil the whole thing down, don't forget that his age is great, his pleasures are few, and in the end the point is to make him happy. Hugs to you.
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I am also in the UK. :)
You are a great daughter to have. Your dad is lucky.

Also try a few Refreshers as a treat.

Mashed banana with chocolate drops in. As a pudding.

Save some little yogurt pots, put some small puddings in with a large chocky drop at the bottom. Freeze them and 'dish up' after meals.

Good luck :)
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Wow Terry's Neapolitans - are they still about? I used to love them and your comment on the unwrapping made me chuckle! I really think it's the texture of pure chocolate that he loves so much - no sweet alternatives will pacify him lol! I've left him with a 4 pack of Cadburys Twirls today and he was dead chuffed - looks like sooo much more than his usual bar but only 25g extra so hopefully it won't ruin his appetite - fingers crossed!
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BuzzyBee I think I will try some of your ideas for me - they sound yummy lol!
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