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My grandmother has had dementia since 2012. After her eldest daughter of 4 told her I was possessed by Satan, she is now suing me in court. The details of my situation are that my grandmother has four children, 3 of which are content with my grandmothers end of life plans, one is completely against them.
My grandmother and I have had a special relationship since childhood and she named me as POA and Health Care Surrogate 11 years ago. She also made me and her sons beneficiaries of her estate. My grandmothers wishes were for the two of us to take care of the family after she was gone and none of her plans have changed since 2006. I have held, in succession, 3 POA's and health care surrogates to be able to give my grandmother care in her end of life. This role has been extremely important to me and I have sacrificed a great deal both personally and professionally to look after my grandmother.
All this being said, the daughter that was unhappy with my grandmothers end of life plans told my grandmother that I am possesed by the devil and out to get her. She talked my grandmother into removing me as POA and to place a police officer outside of our family as her POA. (An off duty police officer that used to work for us in our families business that is now receiving her estate and can take over the lawsuit against me if my grandmother dies prior to the lawsuits conclusion. Weird. None of the family understand why this police officer is now the beneficiary of her estate and have not seen or been told the new end of life plans.
I have had my grandmothers complete medical history and reviewed it. She scored a 21 out of 30 on her MMSE in 2012 and has been diagnosed by her doctor of 23 years as having mild to moderate dementia since 2012. My grandmother also can not ambulate, is full diabetic, has had a UTI for almost 4 years form her severe incontenence that is immune to oral antibiotics, and high blood pressure.
Since being removed as POA in the fall of 2015, I have been removed from my grandmothers life by her evil daughter. In addition, this daughter and her husband wrote a lawsuit and had an attorney file it with my grandmother as the Plaintiff. The suit claims I abused my grandmother and broke my fuduciary responsibility to her, among other things. So, my grandmother is now suing me in civil court and "supposedly filed," a 103 page lawsuit against me. This suit claims that I abused her.
Seeing that she is being used like this has broken my heart. I have not responded to the lawsuit because I know my grandmother is not aware of what it says or that she is even suing me. I know this because she has left this voicemails for me and her children that state she isn't suing anyone and never would. She also says that she never hired an attorney.
Currently, my grandmother has also spent over $30,000 to sue me to undo her end of life plans. I have also spent all the money I have to defend myself and don't know what to do. My aunt is using my grandmothers money to fund a lawsuit against me that has no merit and my grandmother is unaware of.
I have been slandered in the lawsuit and there is literally no proof of anything. In fact, my Aunt filed an Adult Protective Services report on me for abusing my grandmother, and the investigation proved that there was zero abuse from me and that there was no risk from me. Actually, the APS agent advised me to not be around my grandmother because she is dangerous. I have not shown this to the court and now that I have no money for an attorney, I don't know how.
I don't have money for an attorney and do not know what to do. I have exhasuted myself, do not want to counter sue my grandmother, and don't know how to ask the judge to look at her medical records, the APS investigation and outcome, and make the judge aware that this attorney and my aunt are taking complete advantage of my grandmother.
Any help to this horrible situation I amm facing is very well appreciated. I currently know that there is no supervision over my grandmother and am very concerned for her well being. We both live in Florida.

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Is it possible to go about this in a round about way - file for guardianship of your grandma. I'm not completely certain but if you are successful the lawyer could be paid from your grandmas estate. Since you have been looking after your grandma for so long and you have the support of 3 of 4 children - and if there is no evidence of wrongdoing I would think you would stand a good chance of being awarded guardianship. If nothing else it could put some pressure on the law suit filing child. A judge might also appoint an independent guardian which would at least be better than what's currently going on.
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you have the prince of darkness to guide you . how could you go wrong ?
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You say your grandmother is the plaintiff, she also has alzheimer/dementia and thinks you are a demon. What do you do in this situation? I suggested a call to APS for a wellness check. I say also, go to court, who is going to rule on a case where the plaintiff is obviously not capable of testifying due to diminished capacity. You also have the backing of other family members. You are all set. No need to work yourself up emotionally over those posters who you think do not understand what you need from posting of your question. Good luck with the court case.
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Your grandmother clearly wouldn't have a clue what's going on. Don't worry about that - she isn't active in this at all. Your aunt is acting in your grandmother's name. She has also, quite adroitly in fact, enrolled a person known to the family and (presumably) of good character to assume POA and act on your grandmother's behalf.

It sounds as though essentially this rigmarole has been gone through because your aunt believes that your grandmother's end of life care plans are not safe in your hands, and she wants you relieved of your powers of attorney and those powers instead given to someone she trusts. It says something that she hasn't attempted to take over POA herself, or applied for Guardianship herself.

She also hasn't mentioned demonic possession in any of the suits, I notice. Just to your grandmother. Your aunt isn't as nuts as all that then, is she?

Do you know what the root of your aunt's disagreement with the care plans is? Or do you in fact suspect that it's the will that's the trouble?
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You also wrote:

"In addition, this daughter and her husband wrote a lawsuit and had an attorney file it with my grandmother as the Plaintiff." Attorneys in my experience don't accept lawsuits written by nonlegal personnel, especially if it's 103 pages long. Something's missing here.

You also wrote: "Currently, my grandmother has also spent over $30,000 to sue me to undo her end of life plans." I need there's definitely a back story here and posters need to know about it to provide succinct answers.

How is it that you are aware of the $30K amount, and why would your grandmother sue YOU to change her own end of life plans? All she has to do is have an attorney prepare a codicil to her will, or prepare an amendment and restatement if she has a living trust.
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helpforgrandma, we are trying to piece together what is going on, thus the reason some of us are questioning. Normally a person who files a lawsuit doesn't pay the attorney unless the case is lost, except for normal administration costs and maybe a retainer fee. That is why I am questioning the $30k cost for your Grandmother.

I did read your profile and it says that your Grandmother has Alzheimer's/Dementia. Please note that dementia has different phases, and it always gets worse. Sounds like it has. Now I am questioning the ethics of an Attorney who takes on a lawsuit by a client who has such dementia.
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If you feel your grandmother is not getting proper care, you can call APS and have a wellness check done. The lawsuit sounds frivolous and ridiculous. If you being a demon is the basis for the lawsuit, I wouldn't worry. No judge is going to allow such nonsense in their courtroom let alone rule on such an asinine reason.
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helpforgrandma - wow. What ever made you think when you posted your problem on a public, anonymous forum people would line up to tell you want you wanted to hear presented in a pretty package. I'm so tired of hearing "oh, your not supporting me" when people don't like what they read. Frankly, it's not clear as day as from what I'm reading in the way of responses - no one else can figure out what your talking about either. For the record I am both health and financial DPOA for my 89 yr old mother who has dementia - I arrange for and over see all of her care. I did the same for my father until he passed away. I have guardianship of my adult disabled son. I have a irrevocably trust for my son. I am sole trustee for this trust. I was executor of my fathers estate and will execute my mothers estate when she passes. If I don't have experience in matters similar to yours - than nobody does. However, clearly you are either not being completely candid regarding your situation or you don't know what you're talking about because your story is full of holes. What was it three or four POAs in six years? That alone is a giant, waving red flag. But don't you worry - I'm done here.
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I am in agreement with FF regarding the questionable actions of your aunts attorney. Seems to me and from what I know about how all this works - once grandma has been diagnosed with dementia it becomes more difficult for any changes to be made to her "plan". Although as FF points out - dementia is progressive and at the start many people are still competent. I think you definately need to get an attorney to start figuring out exactly who is named as the plaintiff - if it's your aunt you may still have a fight depending on what she is claiming and if she has proof. But if it is your grandma, the whole thing could get tossed based on her competency diagnosis. I can't imagine any ethical attorney representing your grandma. But I still think your best defense is to file for guardianship and all your aunts issued will be aired and either proved to have merit or to be s bunch of hooey.
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If you're trying to get us to send you money, it won't work.

You've been given good advice here. Follow it. Work with the part of the family that is sane. Get guardianship. Or go to court with your uncles' and mother's money.
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