I have been taking care of Mom in her small 1 bedroom condo in Florida for the last three and a half years. I have my own place in New York where my children still reside and I miss them dearly. My mom can no longer travel with me as she used to.
Her dementia has become pretty severe she's losing control of her bladder and bowels she will yell and not make any sense she needs to be coaxed to eat and have her food cut up. I am seriously at the my end of my rope . I desperately need to go home for a few weeks to take care of my place and be around my two children they are grown but they are my everything.
My question is do I need a doctor's referral to find a place for her for a few weeks as I can get some much much much needed change of scenery. Even if she was able to travel our last trip in May of 2018 for two weeks ended up to be a catastrophe. It was more work for me than it was worth. Mom is 84 and has been diagnosed with dementia in the last 5 years. I am 64 and I am currently on disability for severe arthritis and I have since put on 20 lb which is insane considering I can barely walk. As it is I'm just rambling on because I need someone to speak with desperately when I speak with my children about this they tell me it's time for her to go into a nursing home that breaks my heart but I feel like I am dying here everyday is the same there is no life for me here except cooking and cleaning up after her. It feels like I have a set of twin toddlers but they're not growing and learning things it's the reverse and it's very exhausting.
I already mourned my mother about two years ago when she became unable to complete a sentence or understand a simple request. I'm starting to become resentful because I feel like I'm taking care of a total stranger and there's no hope for recovery. Perhaps my children are right and I should look into putting her into some kind of memory care facility. Please excuse my rambling I just needed to vent. These last two weeks have been extremely difficult and I find myself crying everyday. I fear that I may be falling into a depression. Even while I'm asleep I'm jolted awake by hearing her scream and yell and when I check on her she's sleeping so she's entering my dreams.
And don't bother to suggest that I request family members to assist BECAUSE THEY DON'T. My children will come down here every few months and give me much needed relief from the unbearable redundant monotony. Just writing this I realize I need to go see a therapist soon but that would entail finding someone to come in to watch her once or twice a week for a few hours I also need to start attending Weight Watchers. I don't like how I have become emotionally and physically . Thanks for listening