DNRs

The home can’t just administer pain meds and take comfort
measures. That is for HOSPICE to do. Why didn’t the family put their loved one ln hospice? A DNR has absolutely nothing to do with the pain meds and comfort care. If you have a DNR, it means you don’t want life saving treatment.

A DNR is absolutely separate from having hospice or palliative care, and even within those end of life choices quality of life and symptom relief are supposed to be the number one priority. Either the people you are speaking to are confused or misinformed about what really happened or there is a huge level of incompetence in facilities and agencies in your area.

Medical personnel know EXACTLY what DNR means. It means you do not attempt to bring back with CPR a patient who has died, nor put them on a ventilator. It has nothing to do with the administration of medications during life. There is a misunderstanding here somewhere, as no medical person would say this, in my humble opinion. Palliative care means you choose not to go for a "cure" but you will receive all care toward your COMFORT. Hospice is all about end of life care and comfort, recognizing there is no cure. ALL of these require the administration, often liberally, of pain relief. Speak with the facility, as anyone saying the above quote simply is not making themselves clear if they are in medical care.

Pain medications must be ordered by a doctor, the "home" can't just hand them out no matter how great the need.
I've encountered several families who seem to have the mistaken belief that once they find a place in an AL or NH that everything will be taken care of, unfortunately that is not the case. While this is usually more of a problem I've noticed in AL even those receiving the higher level of care at a NH need someone who can advocate for them, especially when they've reached a point where they can no longer advocate for themselves.

I think that hospice should always be consulted when anyone is exhibiting signs of end of life.

The problem with your example is that the family was expecting the home (what exactly is that) to step up and deal with end of life comfort care without the families input.

Sometimes they just can't win, damned if they do and damned if they don't.

I think that families should plan on being involved or accept the outcome that was left in someone else's hands.