I have been POA (durable) for almost 4 years for my 90 year old widowed father who lives in his own home in WI. I live 400 miles away. His "assets" are enough to probably pay out of pocket for 4 years of NH care, if it came to that.
He has some dementia but wants to remain in his own home. Recently he sold some commercial property in his name in the amount of $35,000.00. Before the ink was even dry, one of my sister's said to me that amount now should be distributed equally to the same beneficiaries named in his will, which are 7, including myself. I tried to explain to her that I was hesitant to do so, as there is a Medicaid 5 year look back period if he would exhaust his funds. Her response, "he has plenty of money"..., implying that shouldn't be a problem. I considered distributing a lesser amount than $5,000 each, possibly $3,000 but again, if he would live longer and would have to have Medicaid at some point, the situation with the look back period would be the same.
This particular sibling has always been very focused on receiving money from Dad, whether now or after he is gone. She has spent more time with me arguing and dismaying that our dad didn't distribute his money to his (adult) children earlier than the last 5 years, so that he wouldn't have to use his " hard earned money" to pay for his own care if he had to go to a NH. Her argument is considering all the taxes his paid, it's time the "government" pays for his care, if necessary.
It's useless to try to explain anything to her as she as anecdotal comments of what other people have been able to do to avoid using their own funds to pay for NH care. She is fine to have in home help for him but when I've mentioned who would pay for that, she is usually without comment.
It bothers me no end that she feels she already has "ownership" of dad's money.
If according to what I understand her to say, he will outlive his money; if that would be the case she will get her portion of the sale after he is gone through the distribution of the will.
My question at this time is, am I being over cautious in not distributing the $35,000 to my siblings? My dad has said he is fine (he has no concept of the look back period, etc.) with whatever I would decide, That being said, he is very aware now and in the past my sister is always looking out (monetarily) for her 2 children and 8 grandchildren.