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Mom has had dementia for atleast 5 years now. I am her caregiver taking her to medical appointments, shopping & entertainment. I hired out of pocket a lady to clean & cook 2 times a week to help because I work full time, and don't live with her. Now she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. I have taken a leave from work & moved in temporarily. I need to activate her springable power of attorney to get a reverse mortgage on her home in order to hire more care for her. I need to continue working & my siblings also work & wont contribute financially or don't work & won't contribute with time. I realize this will use up the estate but since they won't assist I'm ok with spending their (our)future inheritance on her care. My mother doesn't qualify for med-iCal help. My question is I sent her medical doctor at Kaiser a request for a letter certifying her inability to make decisions & I haven't heard back. Is it difficult to obtain this letter? Unfortunately I changed her primary physician after the congestive heart diagnosis & she hasn't been in to see her,but since the doctor is within Kaiser I figured they could just review the chart. Im thinking of Kaiser as a whole being her primary care physician but maybe I'm wrong.

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There is a springing/DPOA in place, though - the paperwork is all in order, it's a question of getting it sprung!
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Yay! - I'd call that pretty quick, actually. Short and to the point is fine, I suppose? "My patient has totally lost it. Signed, Doctor Charming." How many pages would it need?

Really, don't rush into that reverse mortgage. They tend to be poor value for money, because they tend to be marketed to customers who are either over a barrel or have no idea of the current market for their property. It might well be better to sell outright - get good professional advice first, anyway.
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How did you send the request, and how long ago? I should chase that up first and see what's become of it. If you haven't asked the right person - goodness, what a spaghetti junction it all is! - they'll be sure to tell you, and you can ask them who you *do* need to contact then?

With CHF and vascular dementia and that length of history, I'm not too sure about a plan that involves your mother being cared for at home unless you're able to live in (and having done it, I wouldn't recommend it). She will need 24/7 supervision before long. It may be that the money just won't stack up; and if you're working you can't afford to make up for it with your time. Any other options that you like the look of near you?
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If you want power of attorney, you don't want any doctor saying she is incapable of making decisions. If she is found incompetent you have to go for guardianship which is a much more serious and drawn out process. If Mom is still rational, I'd find an Edlercare lawyer and get a PO - ASAP. :-)
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You did it? Wow! I've only been here 24/7 for 2 months. I know I am not able to provide this care, I have early rheumatoid arthritis. Physically at times she needs help from a sitting position to standing. The dementia is preventing her from managing the new health regime the weighing in the morning & fluid restriction & salt intake She is able to do her own daily living necessities at this point. I am needing to remind her to brush her teeth & I assist her into the shower. She no longer cooks. I understand this won't be permanent & she may eventually go into a care facility. I'm just trying to keep her in her own environment as long as she can. It's only been 24 hrs since I sent the request so I'm thinking I'll wait until Monday. I'm just in a hurry to get care in place, & the reverse mortgage will probably take time also. Thanks for your reply.
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Just an update,I received the letter. It seems very basic & short to me but I'm setting up a meeting with an elder care lawyer to see if I'm good to proceed with the reverse mortgage. I'm still worried about my siblings reaction & how mom would feel if she could understand, that what she worked so hard for is going to be used up for her care. Worried too about how it will affect things if she needs to go into a nursing home soon anyway. So much responsibility but I'll trudge ahead. Thankful this community is here.
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