First and foremost I have missed all of you here. It has been a trying few weeks. I had to get my father out of the hospital as they were discontinuing all his meds and somehow too many different doctors making decisions for him without his knowledge or mine either. It is too much to get into now but I will share this. Last Monday I knew I had to get my father to the hospital as he was not well at all. I had not any sleep in days and I tell you all this it feels like Jesus drove me back and forth those days. My father went to emergency room after the labwork came back very low and it was affecting his heart. What a painful thing to watch. I stayed as much as I could and he was admitted. He needed lots of blood again and his counts were so low it was affecting his heart. Lord knows I got him there in time. I know the signs now as the week prior to this was horrible. Somehow they had him admitted to the upstairs and when I went to see him I did not feel or sense things were okay where he was at. Afterwards found out they had stopped his heart meds etc. I am going to say this one thing and try to come back later to write more. NEVER let anyone decide when it is time for your loved one to go. I do not believe in holding back any medications and letting someone just die. To me it is supposedly a natural way to go and there is no medical profession that I am aware of that is GOD! It is His calling and no one elses. Time and date is written in the book. When it is time for my father to pass over to be with the Lord and all his loved ones then it will be when God is ready for him. I will have to tell this before I sign off. Saturday morning I got up after no sleep too good and went outside it was sunny and the birds were singing. Something came over me as I had no idea I would be going to get my father out to bring him home again. I did just that and it was the best thing I did. I will never forget what all happened that week and it is much to say at this time but know this - when you feel that your loved one is better off in your own home go with your gut instinct. That is what I did and my birthday Monday was the happiest birthday ever with everyone gathered around him in the room. When you are worn out something happens and with me I stand tall for my father and anyone else. Never allow anyone to mistreat or misguide your ill parent or loved one. EVER!! That being said I know he still has an incurable cancer but each day I wake up and see him with the sun shining on his face in bed in another blessed day he is with us on this earth. To all my friends on here I hope you are all doing fine and know I care and have missed updating his condition with all of you. Hold on strong. When you can't just know someone is holding you up. It is so true and I so believe it. Thank you for letting me share my heart and soul tonight. Let me know if anyone of you also had situations similar with different opinions of all the treating doctors. Talk about confusion for the caretaker!! And more so - the patien! Our loved ones. God Bless all of you.