Did the homemaker step over the line?
My 82yr old dads on Medicaid, living at home alone since leaving AL 2 months ago. Had stroke last year, has diabetes, and diabetic retinopathy, declared competent. I'm POA,both medical and financial. He has a 55 yr old homemaker through Help at Home services (who had been a "close friend" of his for years)... she comes 3 days a week for 2 hrs each day. Dad does not allow her to clean because all he wants to do is jump in car and go shopping. He gets only $634 in social security check... while still living at Al his Medicaid got denied... I had to get bank statements from 2009/2014 to Medicaid... apparently when he signed up for Medicaid he did not tell them he had more property other than his dumpy a** trailer he lived in. The other day the homemaker "friend" sold him her BOSE radio for $100... she took him to US Cellular to buy an iPhone per his request..,he's declared legally blind and she knows it).
Am I wrong for being MAD about this??
Am I wrong for being P*SSED because she didn't contact me regarding these purchases?? She has my number and I check in with her to see how it's going with dad but I haven't with this deal BECAUSE I called her BOSS and reported it! Am I overreacting?? Today I'm calling his case worker...his cabin is turning into another dump slowly and NO I didn't expect anything different...since he's competent I couldn't make him stay in AL.
He has an outstanding bill at AL for around $20,000
Is there somewhere I can read about "rules" for homemakers or dos and dont's???
16 Answers
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Her role through the services agency should be pretty well-defined, and it certainly won't include selling her property to her client. Your dad needs to give her back her radio, and she needs to give him back the money.
Taking him somewhere if he asks her to take him is a bit different - that's up to him. But it depends, again, what it says in the services contract - for one thing, the agency will have insurance and it may not cover her if something happens to your dad outside the home while she is responsible for him.
How has the agency responded?
Yes, probably should have called her first. I did tell her boss that I'm sure dad convinces her HE can clean and it's hard to say NO to him. The boss did say the homemaker is concerned that he won't let her clean. Boss said homemaker is on the road with dad too many hours. I have had conversations with homemaker regarding this also..she tells me he wants to go go go! What threw me over the edge was buying the radio and a phone that he will not be able to operate He has numbness in his fingers and can't even feel a small button let alone use the touchscreen plus with the blindness he has hecan't even see it it does not make sense to me
That way, it's not "your daughter says I can't.....", it's " MY BOSS says I can't, and I'll get fired if I do". That a whole different conversation, I hope, that your father may "get".
Or not.
If staying in his cabin becomes unsafe, call APS and let them take the reins.
Either way, this benefits her?
You can fix this! Social Securuty and APS should be on your side.
If you are writing checks to this "Caregiver/friend", just stop.
Going, going, going maybe "a want" of a person with Alzheimers/dementia/diabetes, but it is NOT good for them. So, he pays for "their dinner out?". Sheesh.
I think you did the right thing. Sadly, a lot of caregivers do take advantage and in the extreme cases abuse their clients financially, emotionally and physically. Its good that you are advocating for your dad. Its better to put a stop to this type of behaviour now. I have to agree with Barb don't hesitate to call social services if things are escalating.
I know its hard on your dad. He is probably lonely and he might even be sweet on her, but given his limited financial situation he has to be careful.
Keep us posted.
Thank you for explaining the facts as you are still finding out!
It took 3 months, then, three more months, now it has been a total of 10 months to almost fully discover what had happened with my loved elder, and yes, just like with you, the elder held back vital and accurate information so we could not assist.
There is hope, and you can work this out as his daughter and POA.