I think I am developing dementia. What should I do first?

Try something different. Forget about all this and go for a walk. Go to a park, visit a garden center, go to a show, museum, whatever. Just get out of the house and outside in nature. Then see if you're still stressed when you return.

Some of the things you describe aren't unusual for post-caregiving; it does take a while to segue back into a less demanding lifestyle. But the more you worry about it, the more you're going to begin believing that your worries are coming true. Perhaps they are; perhaps they aren't.

If you start worrying again, turn on the Weather Channel and think about what you'd have to do if you lived in Florida - that's really something to worry about. Focus on other people's misfortunes and how you can help - it takes your mind off your own issues.

It really does help to get more balanced into your life.

And perhaps another important question is, if you are developing dementia, what are you going to do about it? How will you prepare for and handle it? But don't venture into this mode of thinking when you're stressed, as apparently you are based on your screen name.

Stressed52, I just read your profile and you have been through a lot.... not only stress but also guilt due to a fall that your mother had while in a nursing home.

I also feel like I am losing my memory. My primary doctor said that is normal when under so much stress. Also my new talk therapist is saying the same thing. It will take awhile to de-stress even when taking meds. I also take meds and there are some side effects as you had noticed with your own memory.

If I don't remind myself with notes, forgetaboutit, it doesn't get done. And here I use to be so organized. I think some of that is side effects from the meds. I am too tired to care.

As for the falls, there really isn't much one can do to help eliminate falls... elders are going to fall, that is this their job. My Mom had a serious fall while she still lived at home with Dad, had a traumatic head injury and there was nothing that doctor could do to correct the damage that was done. Then Mom spent her remaining three months in long-term-care where she continued to keep falling. Since I had studied up on this injury, I knew this would happen. The long-term-care couldn't tie Mom into her bed or into her chair, so there wasn't much anyone could do except wait it out.

Watch TV shows such as "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" where you can answer questions. It makes you feel good when you get the right answer. Or get back into a hobby you use to enjoy. Mine was politics, so there is a lot of material for me to get into :P

I too think that due to your history of taking care of a Dementia parent, you may be hyper focused on the signs and symptoms, and because of this, you may be experiencing a bit of post traumatic stress, from the caregiving alone! Yes, you must work with your Dr's, but give it time to get back to a new normal, post caregiving, and see how you do. If you are incredibly stressed, its easy to see why you could be forgetful, as that is a classic symptom. Try to find ways to de-stress, and start doing some regular exercising and reading, but not nessisarily about Dementia! Find new ways to enjoy your life. Those symptoms will come whether you want them or not, and then will still be the time to address them, and whether it is with new medications or not will be for you to decide. The time to discuss your concerns will become apparent to your daughter and your sister, and I expect that they already have an eye on you. Take care!

I didn't see if you had mentioned your age but given your daughter is 25 you can't be that old. Early on-set Alzheimer's is defined as under 65 and it is relatively rare - I believe only 5% of all cases. I'm going to agree that stress is more likely the cause of your symptoms.

Stressed, come off the meds gradually. Keep a diary of each day and chart your improvement. Be mindful of the seizure activity, be sure you are not having more frequent seizures; put that in the diary.
I agree with others that your memory affect is probably due to all you have been through. Grief counseling may help you unload the burden.

Stressed, I went through something similar to you awhile back. I was researching ADD, Alzheimers, etc. I just couldn't believe how foggy, unfocused and forgetful that I was. It really scared me. Then, I got out from under some of the stress.( I am the sole caretaker for my cousin, who has dementia. There is no one to help me.) I had her placed in AL, now Memory Care and it really did help. My symptoms have gradually faded and now, I'm back to normal, though, I still have some stress. But, it's manageable. It takes some time for your body to adjust.

Of course, you can't know for sure, but most people who have dementia, aren't trying to get to a doctor to get it diagnosed. Most people with dementia don't realize it and are resistant to the idea. You are not that way, so, that's something.

I'd work on stress relief and get her your health back before you do tests. There's no rush, right? You can get tested in a few months, when your stress level is down.

This sounds more like stress to me. Idk if it's a good idea to go off your meds. Also I do the same things as you describe and I just think it's because I'm a ditz since going through menopause. I'm all over the map.

Find the article right here on the forum-tells you how to tell dementia from stress, grief-you look it up-you can do it.
After reading it, check back and tell us how you feel.
Also, have a check-up with your primary care physician-thyroid, fibromyalgia, grief, stress, a vit. D or B-12 deficiency, iron deficiency---all this and more can mimic dementia.

But what should you do first?
imo
Throw your hands in the air, yell out, what's next? Say out loud, "I can get through this too!" Bring it on! (few swear words here if you are so inclined).

I would suggest you see a Counselor or Psychologist to address your trauma and stress. When I have a lot going on I tend to not recall things or connect the dots well. A psychologist or counselor will help in two different ways they will help you manage stress and side effects of coming off the medication and if they notice a lapse in your functioning they can help you find the proper resources. It sounds like you have needed support for a while.

Hi, such good answers here. I'm glad sorry-not brought up menopause! I'd keep that on the main suspects list. If you're not taking high-quality multi vitamins, why not start asap. For me B complex in particular helps anxiety. Also, I agree about counseling! In my opinion, 25 is not 'too young' to discuss something real, but here you're mainly just worried - unburden with a professional, give yourself some comfort.

I agree that addressing the stress issues is vital as well as having a complete physical. While I can see why you are concerned (especially from your last paragraphs) - and you are right to be - there are so many issues that can contribute to what you are experiencing that they all need to be checked out. You need to recuperate from all you've been through and regain your health. Then, if you are still afraid that you are developing AD, see a different doctor for that type of evaluation.

Take care of yourself. We'd love to have you update us on how you are doing.
Carol

Take care of your body with good nutrition and extra supplements to balance it. See a Naturopath to help you reset your body to a balanced state. Eliminate whatever stresses you. Try Tai chi, Yoga, massage, some healing body-mind classes or one on one sessions. Even your local library may have some dvds you can try. Exercise is key too. A walk in nature. Call an old friend or make a new one. Be with children or pets. Try eating a teaspoon of coconut oil in your food every day. Can't hurt! Renew your connection to God. Blessings to your recovery.

See a Neurologist or a Neuropsychologist. Get tested and they may have you repeat testing in a few months.
There may be many factors going on ..stress..you focusing on the little things that you might forget (we all forget stuff day to day) I have said I don't worry about loosing my car keys..it's when I forget what the car keys are for that I have to worry.
I hope you are going off medications under the direction of a doctor. Some medications can cause side effects while on and can cause more going off the medication.
Some of your concerns may be valid...
I think you need to talk to your sister and daughter about your concerns. And if possible one or both should go with you to your appointment when you get tested.
They may also have noticed many of the things that you have expressed and they may be concerned as well. (but don't want to bring it up out of fear)
And why would you not want to be in a Medical Trial? I had my husband in one and I really do believe that it helped, probably more than the Aricept or could it have helped boost the effectiveness of the Aricept? I will never know...All I do know is that he was doing things far longer than is "typical" and is still doing this that he really should not be doing at this stage. Was it because of the trial medication or is it because he is still the "Stubborn Pigheaded German" that I fell in love with 36 years ago?
Get tested...share your fears with your daughter and sister..begin to make plans now that will make each transition as easy as possible for you and them. Agree now that if you are diagnosed with any form of dementia that you will go into Assisted Living..if that is what you want to do...or get caregivers in..Make your plans now.
Diagnosis or not make plans POA, Trusts, Living Will, do you want a Guardian appointed? if so who? These are things we should all do.
And lastly...encourage your daughter to get Long Term Care Insurance for herself.

I have to agree with the comments above. Don't panic yet. As the caregiving chore ends we find ourselves in a huge vaccum. Our routine of work, worry, etc is gone. The guilt of what we shoulda, coulda done remains. I have notes. My notes have notes. I am weepy at overly sad or happy movies. Me...the ice queen as I had been for 5 years. I think I am returning to my old normal, slowly, so painfully slow. It's only been a year since Mom passed. I don't expect at this rate to be "there" in two years. I am still constantly looking for my keys! I am AlWAYS in a rush for no apparent reason. Trying to slow my mind down. There is no longer an impending crisis! My family Dr says I am fine. I will throw something out here that I have forgotten more about than I remember but you might want to explore. Pseudo Dementia caused by depression. It was explained to me by a Psychiatrist that did an evaluation on my Mom. Anyway please try to relax and don't go there in your mind til it's time to go there. Famous last words from a World Class Worrier like myself. Take care of yourself.

I agree with most of the above comments. Give yourself a break.

I am a believer of making "lists" and have been doing it for at least 4 decades. Once I jot it on my daily list, I don't worry about forgetting "it." Most days this list includes needed grocery items, appointments, pickup Rxs, water garden, talk to mechanic, etc. My life has been busy, often complicated and my lists have simplified it.

Sorry you are going through more stress, after already being through stressful times.
I can totally appreciate what you are saying. First of all I'd like to say that your post is extremely articulate. It doesn't sound like it was written by someone who has a "cloudy" mind.
I would strongly suggest that you do things that will take your focus off the negatives. Yes, that's easier said then done, but it is important for your well being. (At 95 my aunt was still doing volunteer work).
Also, make sure that you are properly hydrated. As we get a little older, poor hydration can wreak havoc with our mental status.
At times when I can't remember something, it would be easy for me to think that I have dementia (another aunt had Altzheimers, and my mother had dementia). That's when I take a deep breath and remember that when I was in my early 20s there were times that I put my keys in the fridge, and my purse in the closet.
I guess what I'm saying is that it is easy to think that we have dementia, when in fact there are a lot of other issues that may be causing the problem.
Best wishes. You WILL get through this. I'm rooting for you!!!

I am sure you don't have dementia, you still having distress and afraid of having it. Seizure disorder is mimicking dementia sometimes. I have seizures too and sometimes I believe in having dementia, but fortunately is only stress and I make my mind work in things that make me think hard and I relief my "dementia" and stress, awhile learning new things for my life. Mathematics and other languages help a lot.

One of the things that affects memory is sleep apnea--where you stop breathing for a time during your sleep. I was not a snorer, so I wasn't disturbing my wife with mine. But I had a lot of the other symptoms: wanting to nap on the way to work in the morning, needing naps every day after work, 3 hour naps on Saturday and Sunday, not able to learn anything new and forgetting how to do parts of my job. I was also making mistakes at work but didn't know it. When I noticed how depressed I was over Christmas break from the school where I was the library-media guy, I figured I needed to see a doctor because something was wrong. When I explained my symptoms, he told me that I needed to do a sleep study. It took 2 1-2 months to get in because they were so busy. For this, they wire you up to record your brain waves while you sleep, then wake you half way through the night and place a mask over your nose that forces air into your airways. They can adjust the pressure of the incoming air to the amount needed to keep your airways open so they have a CPAP machine (continuous positive air pressure) calibrated for you in the morning.

I learned afterwards that the reason I could not learn anything new was that I had no deep sleep and long term memories are only formed in deep sleep. The reason I was depressed was because I could not dream and the mind needs to do that, usually 3 cycles a night.

Once I started using the machine, all the abilities I had counted on throughout my life came back: problem solving, creativity, detailed memory, etc. I had already resigned at that point because I didn't want to become an embarrassment to the school. Once my memory was working again, I found many mistakes I had made in the fall with book ordering and cataloging and other poor judgment errors.

Now they find a correlation between sleep apnea and dementia issues. It is only in deep sleep that the brain does its "clean-up" activities at night, getting rid of the waste by-products from an active mind during the day. Those waste by-products are those things that form the clusters related to Alzheimers. Exercise which includes walking and strength training are also things to do to avoid Alzheimers, along with doing puzzles and creative things. But getting good sleep is key.

I have been using a CPAP machine since 2005 and it is a life-saver. There is a 100% correlation between sleep apnea and hardening of the arteries, too. If you have S.A., your arteries are getting clogged. When you stop breathing at night, your heart starts racing trying to get oxygen to the brain. Your body gives you a jolt of adrenalin to make you gasp and start breathing again and adrenalin irritates your arteries. That's a danger and your body's response is to lay down cholesterol. I got my CPAP machine in March and the following December had an emergency quadruple by-pass due to my clogged arteries. The clogs were near my heart where arteries branched and no stents could be used. Knowing the harm sleep apnea does to me physically as well as mentally, I never try to sleep without it. If the power goes out at home, I head to a motel with electricity.
I am in charge of a friend with memory loss and understand some of what you have gone through and am sensitive as well. Each time I forget something, I question myself--is it starting with me, too? I am doing everything I can to stay physically and mentally healthy, but it all starts with good sleep. Best of luck to you on this journey!

AaStressed52, I would agree with all of the Care givers responces to Your question. If Your Daughter is 25 years young, then You must be well mid 40's therefore You are too Young to have Demensia. Caring for Your dear Mother for eight years was very demanding on You and You probably never gave Yourself time to recuperate and to heal. Take a cruise and bring Your best Friend, have fun again and start to enjoy Life. You'll be a new You.

JohnnyJ makes an excellent point about getting check for sleeping problems. I also had a mild case of sleep apnea. Mine is actually more of hypopnea, which is not a blockage, but shallow breathing during sleep. Still, it can disrupt your sleep pattern and cause harm. Talk to your primary to see if you need to be screened. I didn't have the daytime exhaustion that many have, but I did have other symptoms, like frequent nighttime urination, foggy, poor memory, etc. It could be part stress, but it could also be a sleep problem. I think mine was a combination of both.

No one on this sight can tell you if you have dementia. Nor does any reassurance that it could be just stress mean that you don't.
Your symptoms could be caused by many things, from other meds to brain illness.
If your doc is not listening, and you feel dismissed, go elsewhere. Make an appointment with a neurologist as they are brain specialists and expert in diagnosing and treatment of the brain. I have been a nurse for over forty years, and I know there are answers to you questions. Blessings.

My husband, daughter and I are caring for my mother who has Alzheimer's. Very stressful. First of all DO NOT PANIC. We are so stressed that we don't know what day of the week it is, what we were making for dinner five minutes ago...etc. You have been through the wringer. I suggest a different doctor who can assess you. Bring your loved ones with you. They can help you and the doctor. My daughter is fourteen and she is so stressed she can't remember anything either. Relax. Let the meds wear off and maybe call your hospital for a referral. See an elder attorney. My mom's arranged for tests for her. You can go that route. He can draft a POA for someone you trust. The POA can keep your daughter on the right path. Let us know how it goes.

Stressed52 Before I worried about getting tested I think I would visit a lawyer and get the proper paperwork in order. Getting your wishes for treatment on paper makes it very clear how you want the rest of your life to be handled should your fears come true. if you are worried about your daughters competency to make your decisions when you can't, make your sister first POA and your daughter second.
We all think of our children as being a lot younger than they actually are and certainly not able to make mature decisions for us. Your daughter is 25 and that is plenty old enough to take on responsibilities. The nurses in the hospital and the young Drs have mostly graduated by that age and take on enormous responsibilities for our care.
No one wants to give up their independence or have others direct our living arrangements but if and it is a big if you can no longer safely do it then someone else has to step in. After all your sister and daughter are already looking out for you. Do you have to look out for them too? Are you all making similar mistakes?
Start now to set up systems to make sure some of your mistakes don't happen. if you have a steady income put your bills on automatic payment. saves a stamp and makes sure nothing is missed. Carry a diary around with you so if you are given some thing like an appointment or other important information it won't get forgotten. Get a GPS for your car so you can always get from place to place ,especially back home. Keep a large notebook by the phone so you can immediately write down phone numbers or messages. Always repeat things like phone numbers back to the caller so you catch any mistakes immediately. carry important information in your purse such as family phone numbers and a list of your medications and allergies and contact information for family. Arrange your purse so you can easily put your hand on things like credit cards or your health insurance card. Use post it notes to put places like the fridge or bathroom mirror to remind you of the days important activities.
Remember everyone is different so it tens differing lengths of time to get over traumatic events like the death of a loved one.
Of course it is possible that you do have early dementia and getting tested is a good idea but it is also possible that you have something equally nasty like heart disease or a brain tumor. If the blood flow is decreased to your brain as in heart or lung disease that can also produce the symptoms you describe. For these reasons it is equally important to have a complete health check up not just a dementia evaluation. on't hide anything from your Dr they are not allowed by law to discuss your heath with family members without your permission.

As I was reading this I, I thought to myself, sounds like this person is on seizure meds!! As I finished your post, I saw that you were! I could have written this. I have been moms caregiver for several years even though she lived alone. I was on call 24/7 and got calls constantly from her or a neighbor saying she had fallen again. I & my niece who has POAs along with her doctor, had her placed in rehab and then into a memory care unit where she should have been for the past couple of years. But, she fought us tooth and nail. I was under enough stress that I was having trouble in my marriage, with my kids and grandkids and seeing things and forgetting things. She still has problems I or my niece have to solve but, things are so much simpler now and even though I still feel guilty, I know she is where she needs to be.
During this time, my daughter begin to pass out for no reason and have seizures. I was with her at her first neurologist appointment and he asked her questions and then questioned me about my seizures and cause. (I have a brain tumor found in the mid "70s). He asked what I had to take and I told him Dilantin 400 mg a day. He asked about memory problems, forgetfulness, foggy feeling, exhaustion, etc. Yes! He told me to get OFF of Dilantin asap since new studies have shown it causes memory loss and it is not reversible! He agreed it was a miracle drug when it first came out but have found long use to be detrimental to our memory process. I asked my Dr. about switching me to another med and he wouldn't do it. So, if you are on Dilantin and have been for a while, it could be some of the problems. Check with a neurologist!!

Seek out a psychiatrist.

Thank you all for taking time to answer my question, you all have such wonderful insight and varied in different areas. I thought perhaps I should answer some of you. First of all I am 63 years old with a 25 year old daughter. I would like to be in my 40's however! I had no idea that it could take so long to recover from grief as you have suggested. I did feel like I was suffering from PTSD when my mother was admitted to the nursing home. I just could not handle her medical problems alone any longer and although I did care for her 8 years. I had also cared for her sister, my father, and my brother in law before caring for Mom so I had put some time in. When you add the fact that your sister is doing everything in her power to make things more difficult it just adds to an exhausting situation. Some of you mentioned a will or Trust and I am happy to say that I have just completed that and I have my daughter and younger sister working together to make decisions for me when the time comes. I do need to find another doctor and a Neurologist as well as both of mine retired. I am currently taking Zoloft for Panic and Anxiety and I am under the doctors care to slowly remove me from it and then see if a new medication is needed or not. The seizures are a different story I have taken numerous medications over the last 42 years to control my gran mal seizures. Currently I am on a low dosage of Keppra and my seizures switched from happening in the evening to happening at night. I have no idea unless someone hears me that I may have had a seizure. This medication was basically my last chance as the Neurologist had run through all existing medications on me. I have gone through menopause and I have had a sleep test that revealed no sleep apnea (thank God).

I am sure that although I am afraid to talk to my daughter and sisters about my memory problems, they know what is going on. I am corrected so many times during the day that I believe they probably have already had a family meeting to discuss my situation...after all how can I hide it. I do think that before I lie down and just give up I will take your advice and get out of the house and do things. Generally I do not like to go anywhere alone, however maybe I should work on that as well. Someone mentioned using a GPS and I had to laugh, I could not use that on a bet! I thank God for a smart daughter who knows how to fix my computer and set the sprinklers and yes work her own GPS because all of that has become too confusing to me. Several days ago I found a childs toy that I had bought on vacation a few years ago and it was matching two items hidden under doors. I thought I could play it with my mother however she passed away. When I found it I opened it up and was able to match two items after playing with it for about 10 minutes. I showed it to my daughter and asked her to play it and she had matched every item on the board in less than ten minutes. I then became concerned that my memory problem may be worse than I even thought it was.

About 5 years ago while on vacation with my daughter I was sitting in bed one night reading a book and my daughter said, "Mom do you realize that your head is bobbing back and forth?" No I had not noticed it but now I watched and did feel it happening from time to time and asked my daughter to point it out to me when it happened, however it was so frequent that I had her stop. My immediate thought was Parkinsons Disease. Then recently when this doctor began saying that Hillary Clinton was sick with Parkinsons I decided to look it up online and found that many things they spoke about, I experienced. I have not set up any appointments yet for any evaluations. I do have scoliosis and a pinched nerve so possibly that is the reason for head bobbing, I do not know.

I am really hoping that this is all stress related and that I can and will get it under control. I did feel very guilty that due to my health issues it led to my mother being placed into a nursing home where she was injured and died. I was so sick with the flu that I was not able to attend her funeral, although my older sister thought I was just faking it so I did not have to attend. I know I was under stress but vomiting and all that comes with it makes me believe I truly was sick with food poisoning.

Again I so want to thank you for your time and effort to give me insight and suggestions into my current condition. I pray that you are all correct and it is just stress, although I know I have to get that under control as well.

We just lost our beloved mother who had Parkinson's along PD dementia. My sister did most of the caregiving in the home, while we siblings came to help. I understand the stress of losing a loved one to a disease that robs them of cognitive thinking, and also movement in our case. A caregiver rarely has time to exercise, meditate, and do things that help alleviate stress naturally. I hope you find time to practice a kind of exercise that may alleviate your anxiety and give you release. I find yoga has been tremendously beneficial for me, in addition to taking long walks and riding my bicycle. I don't meditate, but have read about studies that it really helps with memory and focus. Please find time for yourself to get moving and quiet your mind. If there are classes in your area, I hope you can sign up for these. I wish you well.