I can not believe I am even writing this! My parent was just sexually assaulted/fondled in a memory care nursing home by a cleaning employee! I am lost for words or even what to do next.
A police report was filed and the person has been arrested and fired. We also have gone to the emergency room for a checkup as a precaution and awaiting results.
Of course I've talked to the police, social workers, and doctors, so much info and my mind is a blur. It's going to take some time to work through the legalities of this and my parent is ok. Because they have dementia, this horrible incident is not something burning in their minds constantly all day (thankfully). I just feel awful for them, the emotional anguish and the testing and sticking and probing at the hospital they had to endure over a piece of scum of the earth that wants to take advantage of the mentally ill and handicap and elderly people! Just sick!
I am so angry and feel completely hopeless and lost for what to do. All kinds of thoughts were going through my mind, but ultimately after this settles, I still have to figure out care for my parent. I have family that is very supportive emotionally and visits when they can. I understand that they have their own lives with their own set of problems and some work and are sick themselves. I have siblings but I'm the oldest and they help where they can with small things, but no one steps in for me and tells me to go take a load off for once, I got this. I have always been my parents "caregiver" in a sense. The weight is one me. I have even considered quitting my job and caring for them myself and seeing if the state offers any assistance with home care that we could survive on. However, even after just one night, (falls, restroom assistance and bathing, medicine administering, trailing everything they do to be sure they are safe, dressing, and entertaining, I'm not cut out for this in home. I handle a great deal with my parent and have been for years even before my parent became ill and I can already see in home care is too much for me, even after a weekend of care. If I try this on my own, we both will decline mentally and physically.
This is so overwhelming and I can't believe I'm experiencing this. I just need help, advice, something.
Everyone is saying "I know you are gonna get your parent of that place." Like yes, ultimately! I have not had any other major issues out of the place (at least prior to this) and it is one of the best rated in the city, very close to my home and job so I can visit if not daily, many times a week as I have been. My parent is familiar with the staff and their room and set up and it will be a big shock and ball of confusion if I abruptly remove them and try to place them in another place.
Listen, I know this sounds ridiculous to even consider letting them step foot back in that place and that's not in my immediate plans, but I am being realistic about this as moving my parent around is not easy because of the dementia and the other health problems.
They are with me now for the weekend but once I go back to work, I have to figure out what to do and it is difficult from what I hear, even under these horrendous circumstances to get immediate placement to another facility.
I'm on the verge of feeling suicidal and wanting to end this all. I feel so guilty this even happened to them and what they experienced! That I wasn't there to protect them! They have heard "I"m so sorry" from me 100 times today
This is one of the worst things I've ever experienced.
Thank you all for reading. I would appreciate any feedback. No harsh judgement though please, because I am exhausted after today, completely depleted.