Mom is depressed, wants to leave this world it is so sad. What should I do?

When my father died in 1987, my mother would will herself to die on the anniversary of his death. She is now 96 and on Lexapro. The doctor is going to have to find something else for her since she now gets agitated when someone tells her she cannot do something or she is wrong.

Everything they go through not only affects them, but also affects us. I would talk to your mother's primary care physician.

Maybe she needs another antidepressant added to her meds? My mil takes zoloft and buspirone. If she misses either one, we definitely know it. But when she is depressed, she gets very angry and lashes out.

4 rabbits! I know you are my type of person. I am a huge house rabbit person. But forgive me, I digress. :3

If your mother is anything like mine, she can think herself into depression. She has tried antidepressants in years gone by, but said they didn't do her any good. In her case I think it is because she isn't physically depressed. She does have a habit of thinking bad things that others are doing and feeling. For example, this week she feels that my brother and his kids are not treating her well. They are acting the same as always, but she has started dwelling on them. It upsets her and she starts crying and getting very angry. All of this is being created in her mind, where she takes bits of real information and weaves it with imaginary. She has turned my brother and his family into bad people. Trying to reason with her is not possible, because her reality is her own.

My mother tends to stare off in space when this is going on, too. This made me wonder if yours might be doing the same. I don't know how to get my mother to stop inventing things in her head without entertaining her all day and night. I couldn't do that without totally losing myself and going broke.

I also suggest talking about this with her physician. Sounds like the meds are not working.

JessieBelle, That is what my mother is now doing for the last five months. You cannot reason with them, because they think their thoughts are rational. Right now my mother is mad at me because I will not bring her back to live with me. It came down to my mental and physical health. Thank you for your clear definition of what is going on with your mother.

I would additionally ask dr to tell mom that he will give her antidepressant but only if it is coupled with therapy. Elders lose interest in others and outside world and become increasingly isolated. Family isn't enough, they need friends and activity to feel validated vs. just feeling lonely and wanting to die.

I know docs just want to write a prescription and send them home like they are curing a headache, but it doesn't work for most seniors in treating the root cause and giving them a reason to keep getting up everyday or wanting to wake up to another day.

Try to participate in some senior group activities with her where she might meet some new friends. If you attend first few times with her, it might give her confidence to go and be open. You be the social role model. Maybe it's senior sneakers, or walking the mall, or senior center, church group, or other. Check out retired senior volunteer person in your locale and see if a companion might visit her some. Maybe you can organize a senior lunch with a few ladies at a fast food or local diner so she can meet new people.

It's tough and bless you for wanting to make it better.

I like all of sunflo's suggestions. Here is the order that seems logical to me:
1) medication adjustment (everything else will be much easier if the chemistry can be balanced)
2) therapy
3) social activities

Trying to do these in the reverse order is nearly impossible with someone deep into depression.

Thank you all for your help...She has been fine since the day after my post. . She takes zoloft and I would be inclined to say she needs an adjustment but she doesn't stay in a depressed state, she seems to get that way when her anxiety level goes up, for instance when I have a lot to do one day and don't spend a lot of time sitting in the room with her. (she is an amputee and has not done well with prosthesis) so she can't do a whole lot of getting around by herself. She got a little anxious this evening when I had to run out for a minute.. She wanted to argue about anything. I just told her I wasn't going to argue about it and left. She was fine when I came back... She thinks I am irresponsible and very forgetful. LOL, I just let her think that....

Oh, you're the forgetful one, are you? Love it...