My husband wears a watch, but can't tell time anymore. If he looks at a wall clock, he sees a different time than what it really shows. The same thing with a calendar, but not so bad.
Why does your husband have to know what time or day it is? What purpose does that serve? If he can't tell time, read the clock, or the newspaper, etc. then just accept that. Aren't you frustrating him and yourself more by trying to get him to do this? He's in a place in his life where that isn't necessary. It IS necessary for YOU however so that you can get him to appointments on time, etc. He is content and happy with where he is at. Accept that. cadams
My mom is 91 and has dementia, she has a terrible time with a clock, she will wear a watch but doesn't know what time it is or what day it is. Everyday she asks me if she has to go somewhere? I explain that today she is going to see her friends at the MAC center and spend some time with them. She went to see her neurologist last week and when he had her draw a clock out of the circle he put on the paper she couldn't figure out how to distinguish 3am from 1:30. It upsets me so much to see her in this condition and I am glad to know that other people are also having these problems with their loved ones.
I am so tired all the time my mom wears me out. I have had multiple surgeries on my right foot and have a blood clot disorder. I swear even though she is 91 and has dementia she has more energy than I do. All she wants to do is go shopping. In her mind the money never ends. When I have to get her prescriptions she thinks since I have the money to get them that I have money to constantly buy her things. When I have to go to the store if I don't watch her every second she is constantly putting things in the basket she doesn't need and when I try to put them back without her looking she just puts more in. Can someone please tell me how to handle this? I know she has dementia and doesn't understand what she is doing but it takes me forever when I take her with me.
Deb, because u cant change mom and it will no doubt get worse over time, perhaps u could get to know a cashier at the store u frequent then let mom put things in cart and when u check out the cashier could set aside the things you dont want. If u explain about your mom i find most people have a kind heart and will help.
For my parents (both of whom have dementia, each a different kind), keeping track of the days and the hours is part of their desire to maintain control. That's easy enough to understand, but hard to address as a caregiver. Telling them the time and day over and over doesn't seem to relieve their anxiety about time - all the calendars and clocks we have around the home are not a solution, just a panacea. I've noticed, though, that their wanting to know is just a reflex action; they don't care much about the answer. So now I answer with "It's time to have fun!" or "It's time to dance!", "It's time to eat chocolate!" - which distracts them, makes them laugh, diverts their attention. Just a suggestion. There's certainly no "one size fits all" in this arena!
Let's go back to Christmas, 2013. My mom opened all her gifts on Christmas EVE because she thought it was Christmas day! That happened all the time. She would also get confused on a person's name, e.g. Janice-she swore the woman's name was JANET! It was so frustrating that I gave up! My daughter's late FIL's name was Nils Nilsen. She kept asking me OVER AND OVER AND OVER "what is his name?" I said "it's Nils Nilsen." Then when she met him for the first time, she called him NIL! So embarrassing!
I had seen the clock face test before and asked Mom to draw one when she moved back home, she could not do that 18 months ago. I have a large calendar and a dry erase board with the month and year with all the birthdays and important events for that month, by the TV in front of her breakfast table. I also have a small one on the refrigerator door. She used to glance at it but anymore she pays no attention. I decided to tape her about 10 days ago with my camcorder where I asked her questions off the top of my head. I had placed a large face clock in front of her favorite chair in the entertainment room so that, I thought, she could keep track of the time when she moved back home While recording I asked her to take a look at the clock and tell me what time it was. The actual time was 5:15. She kept repeating 35 over and over. Well, one hand was on 3 and the other was on the 5.
I've been thinking a bit about this question of telling time, something that we've become used to since the development of time keeping machines.
First Nation peoples, our ancestors, people who lived before the advent of time keeping machines, and even backpackers learn to keep time by the movement of the sun and moon, albeit more difficult when days are cloudy.
Granted that time pieces are helpful, but there are other ways. I've been wondering if people with dementia would find it more natural and easier to roughly estimate the time of day by watching the sun and moon movements.
As we age, time isn't as important other than for appointments, as we don't have to get up to go to work. Maybe's there's an easier way for our elder, something natural.
In some ways, animals and plants are more adept at season change than we are. Squirrels know when to create a stash of nuts; bears know when to hibernate. They don't have a massive array of beautiful calendars to guide them.
First Nation peoples, our ancestors, people who lived before the advent of time keeping machines, and even backpackers learn to keep time by the movement of the sun and moon, albeit more difficult when days are cloudy.
Granted that time pieces are helpful, but there are other ways. I've been wondering if people with dementia would find it more natural and easier to roughly estimate the time of day by watching the sun and moon movements.
As we age, time isn't as important other than for appointments, as we don't have to get up to go to work. Maybe's there's an easier way for our elder, something natural.
In some ways, animals and plants are more adept at season change than we are. Squirrels know when to create a stash of nuts; bears know when to hibernate. They don't have a massive array of beautiful calendars to guide them.