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I love using the term "senior housing" - it covers a lot of territory without the negatives from old nursing home images (yes, I know that there are some that still qualify for that, unfortunately).
It does sound as though someone from outside the family will have to help. It's a tough issue.
To begin with, you need to accept the fact you can't do it alone. I commend you for reaching out to us "outsiders," but try something closer to home like asking your siblings and other family members for help. Some of them might not want to be bothered, but any assistance, however minimal, will make things a bit easier for you. Try to control your emotions, as they'll definitely cloud your better judgment. Second, begin researching assisted living facilities in your State of residence that take public assistance and help you apply for it. This requires a personal touch, so it'd be best if you check out these facilities yourself. Take a close relative with you not just for moral support, but because this is an issue that stirs up all kinds of emotions in people like you who truly love their parents. After all, you wouldn't be asking for help if you didn't.
When all is said and done, you will still ask yourself if you did the right thing by making decisions that you'll also have to live with for the rest of your life. In this case, I have no doubt assisted living facilities can connect you with support groups (e.g. bereavement) to begin the slow process of healing and provide you with some tools -- like the movie titled The Savages.
Remember that time doesn't heal all wounds. Some are so deep that there's no other choice but to learn to live with them. Life is also quite unfair at times, particularly when you are at your weakest. But at least you'll know in your heart that you gave it your best shot, sought for a source of strength other than your own, and did the best with what you had. Your mom might not be herself right now, but she's aware you are still fighting for her. ... I feel it, and you feel it too.
If she is a danger to herself or others, something needs to be done and you can't do it alone. Third party help is needed. A welfare check by social services should get the ball rolling if nothing else works.