Should my mother with dementia be in assisted living or skilled nursing?

Hi,
Jeannegibbs is right - you should check with your mother's doctor and also your community resources. Some assisted living facilities have memory units for people with dementia, but considering your mother's age and other needs, it seems to me that she may require skilled nursing care.
In many areas nursing homes are excellent (my community has wonderful nursing homes), so try not to think that ALF is good and skilled nursing homes are not "nice."
Do talk with the doctor and check resources very soon. Your mother needs help and you won't be able to do this much longer. For her sake and yours, it's time for a change.
Take care of yourself, too.
Carol

In the last three weeks (since you first asked this question) have you discussed it with her doctor? Have you found an ALF that accepts Medi-Cal and discussed it with them? Have you toured any nursing home and discussed your mother's needs with them? How about memory care facilities?

I'm afraid you'll have to do some research of what is available in your area, and also get professional input on what her needs are.

If her dementia is worsening it may be that she couldn't continue in AFL even if she qualifies now.