Dementia and pet care?

I would take control of the cat food as what you're suspecting may be correct. The cat is good company for her so I would hate to separate them. What about hiring a teenager to feed the cat and check on her as a friendly visitor?

When the cat is meowing at her, he might be asking to be petted, or to play - or he might be satisfied with being petted or played with, even if he is asking for food.
Unfortunately she might not be able to remember or be able to respond in those other ways.

The mentality of some older people who own pets is off. My DH's grandmom fed both her small dachshund dogs (Smokie #1 and Smokie #2) whatever she ate - bagels with cream cheese and bologna. Their skin was SO taut that it couldn't barely stretch across their poor short little bodies.
So even though your mother's cat gives her company, she is not able to take care of it any longer. Also, cats are quick and I hope the cat doesn't cause your LO to fall.

Most of my posts were to other comments, so to ensure you see my suggestion, I'm posting here.

IF mom feeds both canned and dry food, get rid of the dry food. Although some cats do fine with it, in general it leads to many health issues, including obesity. There are too many carbs in it and not enough water for what they truly need.

If you can provide a good canned food, in the little cans, eating multiple times a day should be okay. Typically my cats will eat about 1 tblspn/meal and I feed them multiple times/day (4-5) In the wild, cats usually eat this way. How much canned food he should eat should be determined by his body size - mine range from 6.5# to 15#, no one overweight, but the little one needs less food!

Try to avoid the cheaper canned cat foods, as they likely have too many carbs as well. But, ensure he always gets some "play" time, and has cat trees to climb, etc, to work off some of the food! I've had trouble getting decent canned food, but the Friskies Gourmet Naturals has a lot less crap in them than other foods. Raw is another option, but would be a problem if she leaves the bag out and it defrosts! Mine get a combination of raw, home-made and canned. The raw comes in 1 oz little patties, the home-made is frozen in ice-cube trays, so about the same size (heaping tblspoon/meal!)

Leave just enough cans to provide about 5-6 oz/day (little more if he is a big cat, little less if he is smaller.) You could get some treats, but only leave a handful or so in a baggie, that she can toss for him between meals. She gets to "feed" him and he gets to run/catch it!

She doesn't clean out littler box. My sister and I do. She's pretty much quit doing anything. I've tried and tried to get her to take responsibility for her little apartment and keep it clean, but she either just doesn't care anymore, doesn't have the energy, or physically can't do it. She's never been a great housekeeper, so this isn't a big surprise for us. I think between my sister and I, we will have to ration the food and, even though we don't want to, will have to be strong in helping her NOT feed him so much.

Please do not put the cat on just dry food. It causes so many health issues. Diabetes and urinate tract infections being the top ones. The cat will probably get sick if you take away all the dry food especially if it is older.

You're going to have to have a plan B...and maybe a C. Check with the vet, the church/temple, the neighbors and find/ hire someone to stop in once or twice a day to put food down...food that you put in a cupboard and get a childproof safety lock on. Or you might want to check into some of these auto feeders and the canned food is left by you as a treat. Lastly...this is no doubt a sign of trouble brewing...as far as your mom's functioning and her own eating habits. Is she eating enough? Is she overeating grazing?

Great suggestions below, my grandmother did this as well and I have no doubt my mom would be too if she still had a cat or dog for that matter. Our resolve was a combination of the suggestion to ration and the one to transition to dry food. I do think while part of the constant feeding issue is memory related a big part of it is the need to nurture and the satisfaction of being able to “do” something productive so in general we always saved feeding the cat for her and got her into the routine of keeping a bowl of dry food always available so she could see when it was full and add more when it wasn’t (yes it often got over filled but no harm), this way the cat could eat whenever he was hungry throughout the day. We also made one or two cans available so she could give him a can of wet food once every day or so as a treat, this did dwindle down to every few days when her focus became the dry food. Now my mom lived with my grandmother by that point though she was working full time too so she had daily oversight, I see you check in a couple times a week so maybe “re-stocking” with 2 or 3 cans of food each time you are there and making sure there is a bag of dry food for your mom to feed the cat would be worth a try.

Also just for peace of mind, my brother now has a cat that had been a stray and this is the way he feeds her, leaves dry available all the time with a bowl of water and she doesn’t over eat. He’s a pilot and can leave a pile of food (and plenty of water) when he goes away for multi day trips and she is just fine, she is slim and healthy doesn’t over eat so maybe it depends on the cat but just because a cat was a stray doesn’t mean they will always gobble up what’s put in front of them or can’t learn that their next meal is always available now. I think it is a wonderful thing that your mom has a loved cat for company, for focus, so many positives IMHO. Good luck!

My mother can also not be trusted with feeding a beloved pet. She will give him people food right in front of us and completely ignore our admonishment. Not sure there is really anything that can be done short of removing the pet from the home and bringing it by during supervised visits.

When my Mom started this behavior, my brothers and I had to lock up all the animal food, we had a metal cabinet in the garage with a locking handles. We would get up 4am to 5am in the morning and place the days pet food in the cabinet in the kitchen. Just a NOTE*, we ended up having to lock up everything, Meds (over the counter and RX), Dry Food, Freezer, ALL Cleaning Products. As for daily foods available to Mom, we would stock the kitchen cabinet every morning, just like the pet food. We did not lock the refrigerator, we just did not trust anything perishable. I had to buy more pots and pans, she would throw them in the garbage can, when we were not watching. Then she began throwing out anything she could not figure out, or in her mind, she did not need it.
Sorry you have to go through this, PLEASE, take care of yourself.

Maybe putting some dry cat food in the dish would begin to move the cat toward dry food and be a signal to your mother that the cat was not really hungry b/c there is still food left.

Even with over feeding, there are types of food that can minimize the effects of over feeding and help decrease the cats appetite. One is Hill’s Metabolic, the other is Royal Canin Satiety. Over the counter type foods: Friskies Turkey and giblets and other high protein, low carb “catkins” type food. You could also buy puzzle feeders or make some at home with toilet paper rolls. These could be fun for the cat and entertaining for your mom and would slow down the consumption.

I think that’s a dementia thing my mother probably would be feeding our 2 cats more food but she is immobile she keeps telling me they are hungry. My cats are free eaters food is available all day they eat when hungry neither is overweight. He probably has been trained to eat everything all at once cause it goes away.
i don’t know how to fix this because of her dementia she probably thinks she didn’t feed him cause the dish is gone.

My mother adored her cat and also overfed her. At first she did it herself and later, when she wasn’t able to do it herself, She instructed her caregiver to feed the cat when the cat would meow. I argued with her until I realized that it did no good. It only created conflict between us. My mother’s cat had been abandoned and abused before my mom got her. Feeding her was how my mother comforted her and bonded with her. I also came to realize that as my mother’s world shrank and she had less ability to do things and less control over her own environment, this was one area where she still called the shots. This was her baby and she was mother. It was also a bit of an exercise of power over her caregiver, who she would direct to feed the cat she was feeling powerless. I came to accept it. I did what I could - playing with the cat to give her more exercise and quickly picking up the plate of food when the cat walked away with the meal unfinished. I instructed the caregiver to do the same. I started bringing toys for my mother to give to the cat so that my mother would have other ways to feel the gratification of caring for her cat.

Years later, when my mother had to go into a rehabilitation center and then a nursing home I took the cat. I fed her the same type of food but reduced the amount and frequency and she adjusted. She’s healthy and slim.

Perhaps the day will come that your mother will no longer be able to have the cat as her companion and dependent. Until then you can try to watch out for its welfare but also recognize that there are probably psychological reasons for your mother’s over feeding behavior.

Has the cat been fixed? If so, they gain weight! I have an outside cat who is all over the place, gets plenty of exercise and is still a fat one. (He is outside because he is mean and has mental issues and no one else would put up with him so I tolerate him and we have an agreement to get along somewhat. I'm also out in the country, so he isn't bothering the neighbors.) Also, animals don't normally overeat. Cats "graze" throughout the day. A little bit now and a little later and a little more after that, throughout the day and night. I'd fill a bowl with dry food and then you will probably see he isn't eating it all at one time, but nibbling all day long. He may be begging for food because his bowl is empty. I'm a life long cat owner and know.

I suggest putting the cat food you want her to give her cat on the counter each day, and hide the rest in a cabinet she doesn’t normally use. This is similar to managing medications for the memory impaired. Only give her access to what she needs when she needs it.

Quit buying the canned food (if he can eat dry). Or bring it with you when you go to give him a treat. If he only eats canned, then put the Mon-AM, Mon-PM on the can so she can keep track. Maybe she forgets that she gave him a can

Honestly, I'm not sure there's a sure-fire solution. The suggestions here are good, but nothing I've tried with my grandfather has worked. Despite attempts to meter out their daily allotment, he gives each of his cats a full cereal bowl of food every day, and calls a neighbor to take him to buy more when he runs out.

His cats look like sausage rolls, but I comfort myself that they're happy and otherwise well cared-for.

You have to choose your battles.

Cats don't need 2 cans of food a day. If u saw what my daughter feeds her cat you would say she is starving him. But he continues to be a healthy weight.

I suggest 1/2 can in the morning and the other half at dinnertime. Hard food can suppliment the cat in between. There are feeders that can be filled for that purpose even for water. I fed my cats (4) for years like this. No overweight cats.

Does your sister stop in in the morning and then in the evening then maybe she can feed the cat. That way the food can be kept out of Moms reach and out of sight. Or, the cat can eat the dry food during the day and sister can open a can for the evening.

No. The cat isn't hungry. He's a pig as many cats are. Meter out the food to mom to give to the cat. If you're there every other day, 4 cans. Not more. You could visit mom more often to oversee this. My mom's current cat knows when caregivers change shifts, and was previously able to beg 3X the proper amount of food b4 getting caught.

lisah13, how does your Mom deal with the litter boxes? Is she scooping them out 2 or 3 times a day? If yes, then when it comes to food, she is feeding the cat out of love as he is saying he is hungry.... thus, not a memory issue.

Regarding eating, since the cat was a stray, he will eat any type of cat food put in front of him as in his mind he fears this could be his last meal and would need to forge for food.

How great that he and your Mom get along so well, he surely lucked out when he found her :)