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I can't tell if my mom has true dementia or not. Dr says it's mild but she's 87 yo. The catscan just showed microscopic changes. Sometimes she remembers things from a few days ago or many years ago. Sometimes she flat lies as we are watching her without her knowledge. Sometimes she really doesn’t know. Thing is her pride & meanness. How do yall handle this day in and day out?



Help. Need practical advice.

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Teepa Snow has some excellent resources. Have a look at her YouTube videos. There is a particularly good video describing the difference between expected age related memory lapses & word finding (ie senior moments) & actual dementia. There are many more videos with techniques to deal with behaviour issues.

Scans can show TIA/stroke damage which can lead to Vascular Dementia but frustratingly will not show other types of dementia, or the most common type - Alzheimer's Disease.

At the early stages, when folk ARE aware they don't remember something, or how to do something anger is common. It's a cover-up tactic.

Lies, or 'confabulations' are another cover-up tactic.

Didn't remember today was that Dr appointment? "YOU never told me".

Don't remember where I put my purse? "Someone stole it!".

Have you read the book The 36 Hour Day?

How other people cope I don't know but adding more help as time goes by becomes necessary eg in-home help & adult day-care.

Welcome.
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Your profiles says, "Negative, depressed, doesn't speak." Did you mean your husband here? That's not good. I don't have any good advice for your situation but there is a whole forum here of people who are, or have been, in your situation. I hope you can find some practical advice to navigate living with a parent who has dementia.

During my caregiving days, I researched how to manage my resentment and stress. Being compassionate was the answer. It wasn't ever easy, and it was something I had to consciously work on over and over.

Are there alternative care options, any plans, for when your mother becomes too much for you to care for safely in your home? Safety isn't just about physical care. You have to care for yourself and your sig other, too.
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Doctor says "mild dementia".

Why is it that you don't believe that?
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Patience and tolerance. Practice them often.
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