I'm curious how others have dealt with a similar situation. My wife is disabled with mild to moderate dementia, long-term (49 years) type 1 diabetes, and a whole host of other physical and neurological ailments. We are both 70 years old. I'm in good health and have been her caregiver for more than a decade. Her health situation is slowly, but inevitably deteriorating. She had a serious fall last year resulting in bleeding inside her skull, and while I did all the right things (ER, hospital, doctors, numerous safety devices post-fall, post-hospital rehab, etc.), I've been mercilessly criticized by her sons (one in particular), at the time and post-fall for not looking after their mom properly.
This even happened in the ER itself when I notified them of her location and of what had happened. Note that neither son has ever visited more than once a year during our 25 year marriage even though they live under an hour away. (One doesn't even know the way here without me providing directions.) Once when their mother was in a physical rehab facility for 3 months, they never once even visited her. My own children (3 of whom are local) love my wife and help frequently. Until the falling incident, while I was disappointed in their lack of support, I'd never exchanged even a cross word with the stepsons. My wife won't say anything to her sons to let them know they are hurting her and me. She just can't bring herself to do that. I've tried several times to mend things with them, but it's been completely fruitless. So now I just choose to avoid as much contact as possible. I'm curious what others may have done in a similar situation.