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I'm alone in my home state, my that and mother are in a temporary nursing home in Virginia. They have no family there to care for them, no friends who care to deal with them, they only have each other. I suppose that's apropos considering they've cut me their only child from their lives for years and years even after I protested and tried to help them. They have no close to wear or anyone to go bring them what they need, so they wear what the hospital gives them, breaks my heart. My father still believes I've stolen his money, he believes everyone has stolen his money. He should be looking at the attorneys who are stealing all his money! These attorney's have no shame in asking for a 10000.00 retainer to go before a judge. My father has been pronounced in competent by two different psychiatrist at two different times this year. Now my mother who is in the nursing home is my fathers DPOA, I know crazier it gets right! I don't like holidays and for years they are forever said. I hate Facebook, I'm so sick of seeing how wonderful everyone's lovely lives are with their families. Sorry a bit bitter today, I try to be of better spirits but it's hard. I called to check on my folks spoke to my dad didn't know what to say. So I said I loved him the job market is rough right now, he reminded me I shouldn't be worrying about money since I have all of his, OH GOD! Geeeezzzzz it feels today so heavy that it's never going to end as it's been devastating all the many losses! Yet still I can't see the through the forest to the clearing I'm so lost Holiday's are about family I have none so I'm here today with the caregivers site trying to reach out to the only people that even have a clue to what's it's like to be me! God Bless you all.....

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What a heartache.

Zoo life, if you are central Arkansas by any chance, there's a place at my table for you. My daughter is spending it with her beau's side of the family, so it's just hubby, son, and me. I had invited another friend who just lost his wife, but he was blessed to be out of state with a daughter of his. There will come a time when it will hurt a little less, and you will make your own traditions, even if they start with a wild yell, S**** YOU BURL IVES!!
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JessieBelle, don't judge your despair wanting to keep your animals alive is a symbol of how lonesome you do feel, but you did the right thing and let them leave this life. I hear ya, it's no cake walk caring about parents that aren't who they once were, even then in my case that was a nightmare. Yet caring for dysfunctional parents with dementia, as well as the havoc they can cause while the expectations are set to have a Burl Ives holiday is unbearable. Sorry if I sound a bit bitter I'll get over it but it hurts to be where we are as caregivers talk about a thankless job! My dads sisters ran out of town on them both, they didn't take any close to them nothing now they've no one to help them even with the basic dignity allowed clean close. The sisters showed up caused a scene at the hospital than left town. I ask myself why do I care every time I try to help I'm blamed then discarded. I care because I found compassion, is what I tell myself anyway, coupled with codependency. But we do what we can to be able to live with ourselves too, I haven't been able to just walk away, I've wanted too, though. I know I've done everything I know to do then all of a sudden something else happens that needs even more attention. The newest attorney said they need to be in town with me, however why do my parents need any attorneys the attorneys have been causing all the problems! Thanks for speaking up JessieBelle, it's good to talk to you! Blessing
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Sometimes you just have to lower expectations...lower, no lower still...

Hey, you needed that good cry...here's hoping and praying you find a way to some better holidays and better times for your life down the road, and not too far....
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Zoolife, you're not alone. I woke this morning to the flippant mother -- one of her worst sides. A few minutes ago I suggested she call my brother or aunt. She said, "Why would I want to do that?" I get so tired of everything being about what people can do for her. She complains about what everyone is not doing for her, but she has never thought about what she can do for anyone else. It can be like standing on the edge of a black hole of despair. I wish the holidays would hurry and be over. They just point out how bad it really is. My rabbits became too ill a couple of weeks ago and I had to have them put to sleep. They were my family and I feel all alone this year. I miss them so badly that I am wishing I had just kept them alive through the holidays, no matter how much they were suffering. I know it is a selfish way to feel, wanting them to suffer longer so I could have family during the holidays.
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vsterfans, God love you, and many thanks for your kindness, I would be honored to sit at your table I'm in Texas. When I read your post I cried really hard, thank you I'd been holding that in all day! I'm thinking about what a mess my family is my dad's sisters we should pull together now. I tried to open the door handing an olive branch but I shamed them when I ask then how they could justify not calling me when my father was admitted to the hospital. He totaled his explorer and was found lost in the woods calling for help two women found him and brought him to safety. I can't tell you how this grieves me, even my own church pastors wife wouldn't write me back when I told her how difficult my life has been. The man I was seeing walked out on me he didn't want to deal with me or my family. This season of my life is even to sadly tragic for the lyrics to a country western song! So Thank you vstefans and the kindness of strangers God Bless!
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Thank Vstefans, if I can keep that attorney away from my father he's so badly damaged with the disease of dementia he can't speak well. They have him on some heavy medications to keep him calm. My mother wants nothing to do with the attorney but how can I stop her from coming to the nursing home to see them. Can I contact the police? Thank you I hope for a better life as well. I will need to go back to help my parents move to assisted living and sell their home. It's going to be rough but it has to be done and I'm the only child so the strength will be there when I need it! Thanks for speaking up your kindness helped pull me through the day Lady!
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