Anyone dealing with suspicious or paranoid elders?

Hi mymothermychild, well written above post. I can relate to everything you said. The person who helps the elder the most is the one that the elder hates the most. See that with my parents who are about to turn 90. Very good advice.

To 126Cher: I read in one of your older posts that you are an only child. My heart goes out to you as I know this fact places an enormous amount of pressure on you. My daughter is an only child as well. Having served as the caregiver for my mom has taught me, both, how to live and how to prepare for dying with grace. This is especially important to me as I do not want to become a burden to my only child.
Just want to add that on the flip side of being an only child, having multiple siblings does not guarantee that they would help. It usually comes down to one person and everyone else finds reasons to justify their absence. I speak from experience. Although I have 2 sisters, with loads of nieces and nephews, I spent most of my time advocating alone -- a solo act. They had a million reasons why they couldn't do more. I am still trying to move beyond my anger. I wish you strength and peace. PLEASE don't forget to take care of yourself.

Hi mymothermychild, You are correct about having brothers and sisters. Just because you have them does not mean that they will help. Saw that in my Dad's family. He is one of 5. All they did was fight with each other. Very, very depressing. Not only is that one person alone but the others keep giving advice to the person who is or was doing everything. Many times the advice is not good. I understand your situation.

I am an only child too and have no other family members alive, so making decisions can be scary. But I kept thinking about what will make my mom most comfortable and stop her paranoia, and I keep focused on that route.

Dehyrdation had been mentioned. Also ask your doctor to check sodium levels. Low sodium levels cause mental confusion and a myriad of other problems.

And make your doctors work together. IF you can get your main doctor to do the referrals that is great. But if not, ask your other doctors to write to your main doctor so he knows all medications and issues. This is really important.