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My only brother is a severely depressive, mildly schizophrenic 49 year old who has always lived with our father. He does not work, has driven all of his friends away, and despises me for having a somewhat normal life. Since our father's transitory stroke last week, he has verbally assaulted and physically threatened me three times, called the police when I defended myself, and threatened me with "legal consequences" and a restraining order if I don't basically do things his way (whatever that is, he hasn't said). He has no resources; learning to use a computer and the internet is beneath him.

Effectively, he has made it unsafe for me to be in the home with him, and our father is there. My father, who is ambulatory and speaking and thinking clearly for the most part, refuses to accept this; he thinks I'm overreacting, and that I should "just get along" with my brother.

I should mention here that my brother has spent time in jail for rage-based vehicular assault, has confronted me with physicality many times before when he gets a rage on (puffed chest, advancing steps, increasing tone and volume), and has written at least one note threatening revenge and "a bad ending" for me if "we were plotting against him."

Yes, I know, it must be lonely and sad for him, yadayadayada; heard it before, don't argue with it, but he has refused to manage or receive care that will help him get along in the world. My purpose right now is being able to make sure my father is as well as can be, that his affairs are being managed, and that my brother's tantrums don't endanger my safety or Dad's health. I'm new to the forum; any suggestions?

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Is your father still in control of his finances? Father supports the brother? To what extent does your father need help?

I've had some similar issues in my family and it does get so tiresome after a while and harder to be sympathetic. It sounds like brother is walking that fine line between being a crazy jerk and actual criminal behavior. But you might talk to a lawyer about what options there may be force brother into treatment or simply put him out. Your Dad is enabling him.
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My heart goes out to you and your new dilemma. You state your purpose and it is about care for your parent and safety for all. It is very difficult for many to consider the thoughts of reporting someone "to the authorities". It might bring up guilt, betrayal,and make you feel like a "bad sibling". But if you chose to remain attentive to your Dad you have to establish what your role to your Dad is...not what your role is to your brother or what your Dad thinks your role should be.
You certainly need to find local help and contact an agency or attorney for advice. If he is really threatening , verbally or in writing, that is a real cause for concern. What happened when the police were called? Did they just document it as domestic discourse and move on? And yes, it sounds like any formal guardian should be awarded to some one other than either of you. But only you know if your brother is capable of revenge or this is just his way of manipulating you. I am very hopeful you find the courage to find assistance in this matter.
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Personally, I would go down to the courthouse and file a "Petition for Guardianship" asking the court to determine whether or not brother is legally competent and I would NOT want to be the guardian. Let the judge appoint someone else.
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Wow--lots of similar Posts. Sorry for the redundancy; I'm learning lots. I'm glad I found this site.
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