My mom died last week at age 94. And I keep replaying the last few months of her struggle. Mostly she was out of it and sleeping or dementia, etc. But at times when she was awake I could see how scared she was and we both cried. I don't know how to deal with the fact she was scared and in pain and dying. I keep replaying it in my mind trying not to forget, and trying to understand it and deal with it. My mother was a sweet passive person and it hurt to see her withering away. One minute she was fine the next minute pneumonia, dementia, kidney failure, right over the cliff. And I can't seem to justify it or understand it at all. I ask her forgiveness because I tried to keep her alive as she was in assisted living, 2 hospitals, nursing home and then hospice. I did everything I knew how to do, but her body just was shutting down. And it doesn't help that I had no family to help me. Thanks for your help everyone!