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I want to know if I did the right thing as a caregiver. It was my first time on the job yesterday... and I work with this patient that has Cerebral Palsy. I was a little nervous of the job.. everything was going well until I spilled his coffee on myself on accident while we just crossed the street. This patient said that I don't have any professionalism because I was nervous. I didn't do anything wrong. He mock my intelligence, thinking that he is right all the time. He is the kind of patient that drives you to say a curse word at him. So what I did was I didn't fight back at him. I told him off a little bit, saying not to talk like that to me. He got very upset, and said that I need an attitude adjustment. Reported me to the agency. He lashed at me and said,"I'm the customer, and you are the worker!" He had some nerve saying that. He didn't want me to touch him. He was being very obnoxious, comparing his educational background, and saying that he has more experience than me. So I didn't fight back with him, I waited for my shift to be over. This guy was very obnoxious and very rude. I want to know,, have you been in this situation before? Did I do the right thing?

Did he win any argument with me by reporting me to the agency? or winning any argument?

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You did fine Max. This is the way this patient gets his jollies. What else does he have in his life he lives in a nursing home.
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I give my hats to you my man... You were the bigger man to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. You are the man in this situation, he is a coward. You didn't win no argument because he reported you. So you are the victor! Reporting is a sign of weakness my friend. There's nothing you can do.... Either way you will be in trouble. You are dealing with somebody that is protected by the company. If he reported you... that means he is a coward... and can't stand up to you with a better argument. He is trying to put caregivers down. Your not the only one... He probably done to a lot of caregivers. Trust me, he is not the only difficult patient out there. I bet a lot of caregivers will not put up with that. So this guy will probably be alone the rest of his life. Dealing with somebody with Cerebral Palsy with high insecurity is a challenge.
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Sunflo is right.

Or "Mr. X, if you're not satisfied with the care I'm giving you, I can take you back home, and you can call the agency and ask them to send someone else." You know the agency won't have anyone else to send at such short notice, so he would have to get along by himself for the rest of the day!

Most of the time, the bully will back down.

I wouldn't want to work with someone like that. I would report HIM to the agency!
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Lots of patience, bite your tongue and use diplomacy. Definitely report to your supervisor so that they can deal directly with client and let him know that employer abuse/harassment will not be tolerated.

Probably just an old curmudgeon that is testing you. Give it some time and he will likely settle down. No problem telling him "mr. Smith, I enjoy my job and treat each of my clients with dignity and respect and hope you will return the kindness; if there is something you would suggest I do better to help you, let me know and I'll do my best". I was selected to help you because of my background and expertise, so please give me a chance. If it doesn't work out for you and me, let the agency know and we can make other arrangements. How's that sound to you?"

Don't continue to work with someone who belittles you or makes your job miserable, pass them on to someone else if you must.
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Reply back very nicely by asking him if he would prefer somebody else and if so you will report back to the agency his request. Obnoxious people get thrown off by people who do not respond back negatively.
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brass knucks
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To Pstiegman.. I know how to handle this patient. and I know that he was trying to manipulate me... but I didn't allow it... I had confidence.... It was just a no win situation.... Person with that kind of attitude and condition will try to put caregivers like you and me down. The way you telling is that you think I back down to this guy? I didn't back down.. I was trying to keep myself from getting reported. If I would yelled at him or curse at him... He would of reported me for verbal abuse... and I don't want that. So I actually had confidence waiting for my shift to be over.
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He's testing you, don't you think? Up to you if you want to accept the challenge. Be yourself, let him be himself. From what I hear, what people with high cognitive function and CP hate above all else is being treated differently from anyone else.

Actually it's a good thing he reported you to the agency. Don't worry about it, just make sure the record is straight. Good luck.
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He definitely sensed your nervousness and made the most of it. With time you will build up enough confidence to handle any situation. It's sort of like being a mom, after you have raised a bunch of boys, you can handle any man. If you raised a bunch of girls, you can see a cat fight coming a mile away. Keep your eyes open and soon you will realize when the patient is trying to manipulate you to his advantage.
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Oy, you were in a no-win situation. I suspect he has very low self esteem that he tries to pump up at the cost of lowering other's. Anyone who goes against this type behavior would probably just be in for a head butting contest. I would say he needs a special type of caregiver who is content with being lowly and perhaps gaining his trust with time (if it ever happens). I personally couldn't do it, because he would just piss me off when he started the disrespect.
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