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Living in a 4 generation house. Mom just doesn't feel needed as my children take on more responsibilities like cooking and cleaning. She gets mad because they don't do things her way or in the time frame she would do it in. She feels like they are pushing her out. As the daughter/mother I get stuck in the middle and can't keep either generation happy. It doesn't help that I am disabled and can't do my part either. Help the stress is killing me and I don't want to continue choosing whose side I am on.

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Maybe four generations don't need to be living in the same house! I sounds like people need some boundaries and need to respect each others boundaries. I think a good family therapist would help you get out of the middle of this emotional triangle which is putting you in the impossible position of keeping either generation happy. Too many moms of different generations under the same roof don't always work.
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Sit them down and tell them just what you told us. Be reasonable, see both sides, but emphasize knock it off. Ask each one for solutions, and how they will change the situation. Anything is better than being a ringleader between generations. Don't let them. tell each generation to talk to the other, not you. If it is really serious, and your health is endangered see a therapist. A good therapist will explain all sides, and tell you what to do. Good luck,
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