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I have full medical and financial POA. My father has lived like a zombie for 3 years, doing and saying next to nothing in his recliner. He can still walk and only has occasional incontinence. He has bad cataracts and glaucoma. I finally got him to doctors, took his vehicle keys, hired people to clean him (he hadn't used soap or shampoo in 3 years and only changed clothes when he pooped in them), and confirmed a diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia presentation but most likely atypical frontal Alzheimer's. The house is 39 years old and falling apart. I'm getting estimates for some repairs. He shows no interest in getting involved with that. I've been doing all his mail and finances for more than two years because he wouldn't. One thing I haven't done is try to be the one (not him) to pull money from his IRA and deposit in to checking. His cleaning care is about $1000 a month, and that will go up when I need someone there more often (when he starts falling, becomes more incontinent, etc.). A bathroom renovation is likely to be over $20,000 (first estimate was $40,000 if you can believe that). The bathroom is covered in mold, leaking shower, holes in the floor and walls, etc. I want to make it safe for him (elevated toilet, grab bars, shower seat, etc). My brother, who married and moved out 19 years ago, thinks spending any of my father's money is horrible, that it must be saved (most likely so he and his wife from h*ll can inherit half of it). So, my question is this. When I have estimators in, my father asks nothing but last time, he did ask "How much?" I didn't tell him because his brain is still 30 years back so any amount is too much. How do I hide/lie to him and get money from his IRA without him knowing and not feel like a criminal? They will write a check out to him. What do I tell him? What do I tell my brother so he doesn't hate me? I am 100% alone. My father replies to most questions (after I ask them multiple times) with "no" like a toddler. In fact, when I stated someone was going to clean him Tuesday, I didn't even ask a question, and he said "no!" But, he soon forgets.

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Uhm, I have to ask, how can you plan on staying in this house after your father passes away? Will the estate not have to be divided between you and your brother? I don't expect an answer, I just hope you aren't planning a future based on hopes and dreams.
Putting that aside, as your father's financial agent you have a duty to make wise financial decisions, ensuring that there is proper maintenance of the house would be part of that, and any renovations to make the home safer and more accessible for him would be the responsible thing to do as his medical proxy.
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when I looked at your post and how unsafe the house is and the expense to fix it up, I don't know why you don't look at a nursing home - they are not the institutions your dad probably remembers. My dad doesn't want to be in his nursing home - but he praises the care, the food, the activities, and having other guys his age that he knew in his youth. Plus, he is being well taken care of - the main thing.
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Zombie, are you living with your dad in his home? After reading your account it seems to me the obvious answer is to move him to a more senior friendly place rather than sink $$ into renovations and repairs. If you add up his average monthly expenses and factor in the costs of renovations you may see that it doesn't make good business sense to continue as you are, depending on your location an AL could include room, food, and care for $3K/month. Or you could both move to a IL apartment if it is your choice to remain his primary caregiver.
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Zombie, you are behaving perfectly correctly: getting estimates from reputable tradesmen and comparing them to ensure best value for money. If your father and brother still don't like the numbers, tough! Your father is no longer capable of making these decisions, which is why he has entrusted you with that responsibility.

I know it's hard not to feel hurt and in the wrong when you're criticised by people it's your habit to defer to, but those times are past. You are in the driving seat now, and for very good reasons. Trust yourself. Hugs.
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If you have full financial POA, you should not have any problems moving his money around. If you are using all of the money for his care and wellbeing, you should not worry about feeling like a criminal.

I also don't tell my mother what things cost. Her prices are back in the 1980's and she would freak out if she knew what I was spending.

You should weigh the benefits of fixing the place up against how long you can realistically expect him to be able to live there. I did a $16K renovation on my mother's bathroom to make it fully handicapped accessible with the belief that she would be using it for many years. So far, to years in, I have no regrets. It has paid for itself many times over. But, would I have done it if I thought she would not be able to live somewhat independently much longer,...no
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Zombie, water damage does need to be tended to and repaired. It gets worse the longer it is left. Get three estimates from good companies and move the money to cover the cost. You can tell others the simple truth -- that maintenance needs to be done if your father wants to keep a roof over his head. Pipes will be expensive, but if they are dripping, they can cause thousands of dollar damage or potentially ruin a house. Same with the roof and gutters. Your brother is probably hesitant because you live there. He is probably seeing your service as a caregiver to be of no consequence. Some siblings are like that. Your father's money is to make sure he has what he needs. That includes a safe place to live. Spending the money will also protect the property that is part of the estate, so your brother is being short-sighted in not wanting to spend the money.

My advice would be different if your father wouldn't be there much longer and there were no heirs interested in the house. Houses often do have large maintenance costs, particularly old houses, so the money needs to be spent to maintain them.
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Zombie, some of us here have described our parents as being energizer bunnies with low batteries, they may have slowed down but they just keep going and going. I would have never believed my own mother would still be with me at age 97 and seemingly no closer to dying when I started caring for hers 5 years ago (when I thought her death was imminent). Even though your father spends his days sleeping he still needs supervision, the days when you can safely leave him alone for more than a little while may be numbered. He is in much the same position as a small child would be, unable to help himself in an emergency and unable to make safe reasonable decisions when left alone.
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Zombie - I'm afraid that your own desire to live in your father's house for the rest of your life may be clouding your judgment about what financial expenditures (and living arrangements) are in his best interests. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that you're not able to look at it objectively. You believe that your father's funds are enough to cover both the home repairs and his care expenses, but you don't really know that. He's a relatively young old man, he could live for many years. Your father can't really express his views on this, which makes the situation even stickier. I would not move forward without a much better idea of what his prognosis is, and what the trajectory of his illness is likely to be.
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So he's a terrible father and a terrible human being. You would be more than justified in moving out and ditching him. You are not entitled to use his money for things that may not benefit him.

The problem with costly renovations is that your father would have to live in the home a very long time to make them cost-effective for him. For him, not you. Those considerations need to be examined and weighed, by someone more capable of being objective than you are.
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Zombie has made multiple posts on this thread, sometimes it helps to read everything and not just the original question.

"I moved to this house in 1977 at the age of 4 when my parents had it built. I want to die there. I've endured a lifetime of emotional, verbal, and physical abuse from my parents just so I could stay there."
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