How do you deal with mean siblings?

Dear Amarie,

Sorry to hear about your mean siblings. Its hard when everyone gets so entrenched in their views. I know I was stubborn as well. I was angry at my siblings for not being in my mom and dad's lives and not offering to help more.

With past issues, its always harder to move forward. I would try writing a letter to your siblings and tell them how much you love your mom and would like to be included in her medical updates. Start by saying you all love your mom and given her age, you just want to cooperate and ensure mom gets the best care. I know its not easy but give it a try. Keep reaching out.

Maybe consider consulting a counselor. Maybe family therapist or a mediator could help with your siblings.

More info needed.

There's no fixing mean siblings. Visit your mom and do the things you can with her while she is here. These precious times will be your reward after she is gone. I did not see my mom for 2 years due to her manipulation. When she fell that did it for me. I was there until the end. I'm so glad I did. Those 3 years have meant more to me than anything and no one can take that away from me. In the end, mom and I both knew we loved each other very much. I'm so thankful for the time I had with her.

I think dealing with other sibs is one of the top "most asked" questions on these boards.

Don't waste time fighting with them. Go see your mother and interact with her as you see fit. It will be to your credit to not start fights.

If you don't have POA, don't try to get it. Just enjoy what time you have left with mom and ignore the sibs.

I wonder if you have tried visiting your mom, sending her cards, bringing her cheer in the NH. Unless you observe some kind of abuse or neglect of her while there, I'd think that being supportive of her would be sufficient as her child. Normally, the POA and HCPOA are responsible for monitoring the LO's medical condition, treatment, meds. I'd try to stay supportive and see how things go. Maybe, time will heal. I don't see how insisting on being in control would help your situation, especially on mending with siblings. I'd try to look at from their perspective.

If you are the caretaker be sure you or an independent professional has POA and Health advocate authority. It will help when dealing with siblings. Otherwise do not take the role if another sibling has the power.

My mom had a stroke about 6 month ago. She is doing very well. She is 91, and due to her age it was best for nursing home. The nursing home she is in doesn't not have a good reputation.
I was not in her life for about 12 yrs due to her manipulation meanness.
Since the strong I have had a very good relationship. . It's the siblings. I'm the youngest, only one that is educated and in the medical field.
Because I've asked to see her medicine,and keep tabs on nurses. I was told by my siblings to stay out. I was not in her life for along time and who do I think I am! They do not include me in anything.
My feeling is I know my mom loves me and enjoys our time. It's just hard dealing with them.

If the sibling starts to argue, or gets very emotional, it is best not to share all the gory details.

Amarie, please give us more information.   Example, what are your Mother's health issues?   How old is she?   How long has she been in the nursing home?   Why is she there?

Have your siblings always been mean?   Are you still close to the family?   When was the last time you spoke or saw your Mom?