to dimc40, I'm sorry if I offended you, it was not meant that way, but the referral to the tv program meant to show how others have the same hoarding problem and are helped to deal with it. I don't remember the original question saying her Mom had dementia. My Father has dememtia and is on his last breath in a nursing home and I took care of him for several years. My Mother was a hoarder and saved a lot of the same things your Mother did. She was also blind. I also took care of her too. She saved everything. When she went to assisted living and the kids had to empty out the big house, It was a sad act of love, and a lot of work, but some parts of it were fun to see all their old things. We felt it would have been better if Mom slowly let some stuff go. She knew she couldn't take it to Assisted Living and somewhat accepted that fact. Taking care of our elderly parents is tough and very stressful but it is all done with love, respect, and concern for their well being. I hope that with your guidance and love, you can help your Mom with her hoarding. I've done lots of research on dementia and the most profound thing I learned that gently holding their hand and looking in their eyes is a great comfort to them and improves their response.
I agree with greatat61. she didn't mean anything negative, and we all get a little sensitive over our responsibilities.:) My mother was a hoarder, too. I am the opposite. Maybe that's why Im the one taking care of her--balances things out. All those things don't mean anything to her anymore! It bugged me growing up--all that clutter gave me a headache. But now, the history and stories, and memories bought back by finding all that stuff! I'm in charge of it all. I use discretion, give things to cousins that were from their parents, toss inconsequential junk--some of it is, and we know it! Lots of cool jewelry, vintage clothes, handbags, etc.--IF you like that sort of thing! LOL There are many ways to look at things, friends. My Mother's generation went through the Depression--they learned to value things differently and hang onto items that "might come in handy". With some, it becomes an obsession, and then out of control. None of us are totally in control of all behaviors:) Sometimes you can say, "it is what it is", other times, do something about it. HUGS to you all:)))
Hi there, my mom was a hoarder and THEN she had dementia. Double Whammy. I actually learned from the Hoarders: Buried Alive and the other, can't remember the name. They have a hard core emotional attachment to stuff we see as junk. Slow and easy does it. I had to clean out a total of 15 THOUSAND sq ft (mom had a big old building as well as a big house) packed full of mostly junk stuff with some treasure buried inside of that. I'm still not right. good luck and just a little at a time for both your sakes. Mom used to say this and at the time it would drive me nuts: inch by inch, it's a cinch. but it's true. aside from offering to show up with a front loader, this is the best I can do. lovbob
My mom lives with me 2 years. She has a condo that i have been trying to sell. She hoarded alot. Stupid things like the trays that meat come on, washed and clean. Cool whip containers, nails, screws that she would find. Tin foil that could be used again. (not really). She had her first drivers license, car registrations, titles etc. Boxes of papers from the 2 companies she owed in 1977! I know my mom grew up with nothing. So i can see where the saving things comes in to play. Mom and i together used to collect old movie memoribilia. I have a shed full of old movies magazines, posters, autographes, dolls......but at least i can turn it into money. I was just a shame to see the things my mom was saving. She could buy things, leave them in the box and never use it. Needless to say I gave away lot of things. I also donated clothes to the poor. Patti my blessing to you. My mom is 84. horrible to see her fall apart. Greatat61, yes your are insincere. the show Hoarders are ppl that have a problem with saving things and need help. my mom as dementia.
OMG! My Mom and I are old movie buffs as well!! No throwing away there. Posters, magazines from long ago. That's what keeps us grounded. "Dark Victory " Bette Davis, is fantastic! I think your are great!
The best advice I was ever given for hoarding behavior is to 'group' items together that are the same thing. Hoarding is a very complex situation and not easily resolved. I am finding it helpful to give items away to people that I know that need these things and to stop bringing more stuff into the house.
Taking care of our elderly parents is tough and very stressful but it is all done with love, respect, and concern for their well being.
I hope that with your guidance and love, you can help your Mom with her hoarding. I've done lots of research on dementia and the most profound thing I learned that gently holding their hand and looking in their eyes is a great comfort to them and improves their response.
My mother was a hoarder, too. I am the opposite. Maybe that's why Im the one taking care of her--balances things out. All those things don't mean anything to her anymore! It bugged me growing up--all that clutter gave me a headache. But now, the history and stories, and memories bought back by finding all that stuff! I'm in charge of it all. I use discretion, give things to cousins that were from their parents, toss inconsequential junk--some of it is, and we know it! Lots of cool jewelry, vintage clothes, handbags, etc.--IF you like that sort of thing! LOL
There are many ways to look at things, friends. My Mother's generation went through the Depression--they learned to value things differently and hang onto items that "might come in handy". With some, it becomes an obsession, and then out of control. None of us are totally in control of all behaviors:) Sometimes you can say, "it is what it is", other times, do something about it.
HUGS to you all:)))
my mom was a hoarder and THEN she had dementia.
Double Whammy.
I actually learned from the Hoarders: Buried Alive and the other, can't remember the name.
They have a hard core emotional attachment to stuff we see as junk.
Slow and easy does it.
I had to clean out a total of 15 THOUSAND sq ft (mom had a big old building as well as a big house) packed full of mostly junk stuff with some treasure buried inside of that.
I'm still not right.
good luck and just a little at a time for both your sakes.
Mom used to say this and at the time it would drive me nuts:
inch by inch, it's a cinch.
but it's true.
aside from offering to show up with a front loader, this is the best I can do.
lovbob
I know my mom grew up with nothing. So i can see where the saving things comes in to play.
Mom and i together used to collect old movie memoribilia. I have a shed full of old movies magazines, posters, autographes, dolls......but at least i can turn it into money.
I was just a shame to see the things my mom was saving. She could buy things, leave them in the box and never use it. Needless to say I gave away lot of things. I also donated clothes to the poor.
Patti my blessing to you. My mom is 84. horrible to see her fall apart.
Greatat61, yes your are insincere. the show Hoarders are ppl that have a problem with saving things and need help. my mom as dementia.
If you've tried just about everything (therapy, counseling, the works), then call the Salvation Army. They're definitely going to love you.
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