How does one deal with delusional disorder?

Actually, I would take my SELF off to a counselor to get advice on dealing with a healthy 94 year old who may outlive all of you. The bad news is that the delusions only get worse, never better and she will take up to calling the cops. Probably a good idea to put an advisory note in the police computer that you have a delusional old woman living with you and if they get a weird call, take it with a grain of salt.

Oh boy! If the doctor is "of no help" with yhis, you need a different doctor. She needs to be checked for a uti with a urine culture. If that comes up clear, she needs to be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist or a neurologist who specializes in dementia.

You don't ask her to go to these appointments, you simply taker her out to lunch or shopping, and then to the doctor. If she refuses, she goes to the ER for a comprehensive evaluation. And you tell them there that you are no longer able to deal with this level of paranoia.

This is way past the time for "suggesting" a new doctor. Just take her, or suggested above, call 911 next time it starts.

Do her doctors know about her paranoia?

What kind of doctors are you dealing with? I hope she is seeing a geriatrician. Perhaps it is time to see a specialist such as a geriatric psychiatrist or behavioral neurologist. It would be good to get a diagnosis and a treatment plan.

Meanwhile, I wonder if it would help calm her down if you went along with her a bit. "I've talked to the bank and we've reached an understanding that someone will personally see to it your statements will be mailed on time from now on." Or even, "I'm talking to a guy I know at work about finding the right kind of lawyer."

Does your husband have POA? Unfortunately she's not being cooperative.. If it were me I would Call 911. Tell them you have a 94 year old who is hallucinating.. When she gets to ER have them check for a UTI .. If negative, let them know what's been going on.. She needs to be checked out for suspected dementia/alz.

Good luck.. It's not easy dealing with resistance..

Meds. Seriously. My mother was diagnosed at the age of 89 with paranoia, delusions (she thought everyone was dead) and depression along with dementia. She was placed on three different types of psychiatric drugs, two of which were able to be prescribed by a geriatric PCP, the other was what is called a black box drug, i.e., not good for elders because like with all other drugs, they have 'serious' side effects. As it turned out the benefit of this drug definitely outweighed the 'side effects' especially in my mother.

She needs a geriatric psyche evaluation, if you can find one in your area. Regular doctors are just not good at diagnosis psychiatric problems. Don't just pick any psychiatrist if you can help it. Once I moved her down to my home, I went to a psychiatrist who told me this particular drug had been given for her appetite, not her paranoia. Ha, was he wrong. He lowered the dose and five weeks later, she was back to the 'bathroom' stuff, i.e., I have to pee, poop, someone was dead, etc. When I took her to the doctor to make sure she didn't have a UTI, she fell which landed her in the hospital, which landed her in rehab, which eventually landed her in the 'skilled nursing home'.

Oh, and one time she opened my son's mail by mistake. She told me, Don't tell him because he'll call the postman and I'll be arrested. It's illegal to open someone else's mail". She was genuinely concerned about this. The brain is complicated.

She was really great for the better part of the year after the diagnosis and medication until this one lowered the dose. After that, it was all downhill.

@Babalou - I've wasted my breath, my time, my stress levels go way up, when I've tried reasoning with my mother once various psychological illnesses start creeping in with the dementia. Even showing a person an actual paper won't help. They just revert back a few moments later. It's an awful thing to experience. I've often wondered how they feel. I can't fathom it. Hopefully, they don't know what's going on.

And this is why I have no guilt about having placed my mother in this nursing home after her rehab was over. I just couldn't take it anymore. A very reputable, good doctor convinced me that people with these conditions just don't really 'know' where they are. Even today, she'll ask me when she's going home and I can just turn the conversation to another subject and she forgets she asked.

@lildogtoo, I completely agree with you, just wondered if this person had any reasoning ability left, and the answer is no. I'm with you on the no guilt over nh placement and whatever drug it takes. My mom is safe, reasonably happy and well cared for. Living with a delusional person is not for amateurs.

Look up "validation" on this site. If he didn't argue with her, but said "I'll look into that, Mom" and made himself a note, would it lessen the drama? It worked wonders for my mom, especially when she told us that "they" were taking dead bodies out at night in the trash. Just make sure she gets checked for UTIs, which can cause delusions.