How do I deal with elderly Mom with dementia, delusions, and paranoia?

Have your mother checked pronto for a uti. I expect that she has and is being treated for dementia as well? Educate yourself about dementia so that you come understand that it's the disease not your parent talking. I'm so sorry for your pain and loss.

get her under the care of a good phsyc. this behavior is common but there are meds to tone it down. in my moms case in late stage dementia she was suspected of having a schitz disorder and given haldol. it worked pretty well. if she hasnt been in AL long she may just be suffering agitation from the lack of control. time may help but restoring control of her surroundings would help the agitation. sorry to ramble but years ago my sis lived with mom and actually tried to seize control. i went out, got mom a vision aid machine and proceeded to unf**k every irritant in her life. put notches in washer / dryer knobs to make em vision impared friendly and such.
get mom back in the drivers seat.

More than likely this is just a part of the disease process and unless the doctor is willing to try some anti-psychotics on your mom, there is little that can be done for her. Try (I know this is hard) not to take any of this personally. It is your mom's face and body, but not her mind that you knew and loved. Dementia has taken over and there is nothing that you can do except try to understand the course this disease takes...it's not your mom.

Kevin11, one comfort that eventually will sink in, I believe, is that you are not alone in this experience of accusation, suspicion and insult from your elderly loved ones. I tell my mom that she cannot help how she is, because of the disease of her brain, I sometimes mention the word she detests. And as she is proud that she is a Christian I would tell her, That spirit is not of Christ. After three months she seems to have been healed of that horrible manner of expressing her distrust and other horrible verbal manifestations of Alzheimer's. She gets angry yet for no cause, but not in a destructive fury. Often kisses and hugs make her mellow. I have noticed that she feels strengthened in her animosity against me when others are around. I just have to accept that. She is not to be isolated for my comfort. Just make sure you have something to keep your mind healthy and uplifted.
I have a huge yard that grows weed so fast, my mind quickly shifts to doing something about it. I am learning to love God as He does love me, even though my mother does not. She cannot help it. I believe with this horrible disease and using brain-nourishing foods, training her like training a young child can still have effect.
My mother has always practiced natural lifestyle, and I respect that. Even though she now cannot decide for herself, I will maintain her lifestyle and not administer chemicals to her. I am happy that she is responsive to how with prayer I approach her.God bless you with strength. And I hug you for you need to know that you are not alone.

UTI check is a good idea plus check out meds they are on-my mom gets delusional when on Vicodin or Tramadol, but sometimes other meds can also do that-added to the dementia....

This is a horrible disease as it robs everyone involved of valuable time, and causes resentment in some cases. You have to remember and I know it is extremely hard at times but they didn't choose to have this disease. There are a couple of things that you may want to look into. One have her meds re-accessed as they may need to be changed, the other is have her checked for a UTI as this can alter their behavior as well. Keep in mind that they do have episodes especially in the evenings as this is referred to as sundowning. But I seriously would get her Dr. involved asap. I hope that this will help you. Best of luck to you.

Definitely check out the UTI and consult in detail with the medical doctor caring for your mother. Research her medications carefully - your pharmacist can often provide a more accurate picture of any possible interactions than anyone on the team. Doctors just don't always know the interactions so a double check with the pharmacist would be good

Definitely get her doctor involved. .to try meds or change them. Try to remember it is the disease talking..your parents have no control..so You are the parent now. Check out Teepa Snow online. She has some very helpful ideas and info. Understanding the disease will give you strength.

My best suggestion is to develop thick skin and let it all roll off when words are thrown at you. As long as you are keeping good records on what you spend, then you can defend yourself. I've been there, I know.
As for the delusions, my mother was like that. She called us (4 siblings) every name in the book and I was accused of taking her money and giving it away too.
Mother is at a stage now that she has forgotten all that gloom and doom - maybe her meds helped with that, but she isn't angry and yelling any longer.
Good luck - and great patience.

If you can, find a geriatric psychiatrist for your mom. This is probably causing her to suffer as well, and it's not necessary. Antidepressants and antipsychotic meds can help a lot, as long as she will comply with when she needs to take them. Good luck, and take care of yourself.